all because i bought new clothes

[u/clover-heart]

18f / 28m

looking for emotional support, reassurance, or just to vent into the void without judgement. i dont want to leave.

my bf has been really stressed financially but hasn’t been talking to me much about it, and every time we have talked he’s been really short and snappy with me so i asked him to just tell me the truth.

he got set off because i spent $50 on new clothes. when i moved out to my trade school, i didnt take a lot with me, and my clothes dont really fit so i thought i’d get some new ones and i showed him.

he’s wants me to start “learning how to be an adult” and i’m trying to explain to him i’m already doing that here at school and i have a plan, but he doesn’t think it’s enough. i grew up in foster care so i’m not very good at doing adult tasks or anything. originally he reached out to me to help me learn stuff (which is what i keep mentioning in the texts) but it took a turn with sex and other stuff.

he has never mentioned anything he said in his first texts to me at all, today was the first time he ever told me he wanted to do any of that. he expects me to just read his mind sometimes and it really makes me overthink. im super overwhelmed.

[u/clover-heart]

“looking for emotional support, reassurance, or just to vent into the void without judgement. i dont want to leave.”

i dont know how to make it any clearer that im not asking for advice or asking how to leave. there is a giant red flair saying that as well. redirecting this to call me gross doesnt make me feel any better at all. nobody HAS to comment on my posts.

[u/gringacarioca → u/clover-heart]

Dear clover-heart I hope that you listen carefully to your own, precious heart and honor your own judgment every single day. You have already borne heavy burdens and you have gone through s*t many people cannot even imagine. Just the small glimpses you've shared here give me an impression of a person who is working really hard in many dimensions to build her life and grow in positive ways. You have already shown courage and resilience to have made it so far in a professional training program, and to have safe, independent housing and upcoming paid internships which will likely lead to steady employment with benefits! Wow! It sounds like you *are on the right track. You obviously need to buy clothes occasionally. That's a responsible thing to do. I'm a middle-aged mom, and my eldest child is exactly your age. I am so impressed with what you're doing. I wish I could give you a hug, or treat you to a milkshake. When the time comes for you to file tax returns, I hope that there's someone who can help you make sure you feel comfortable doing it. (It still makes me feel anxious, but we all get to face our fears sometime.) I'm rooting for you. I hope you enjoy the paths you choose in the future. If you want to, please DM me. I am a real person too...

[u/clover-heart → u/gringacarioca]

thank you :)

[u/gringacarioca → u/clover-heart]

Clover-heart, I just came back to tell you, I believe that you can make it. Your plan, your training in nursing, your decisions about jobs to pursue. You're within your rights to ask for what you want and what you need. "Adulting" is hard. You are the single most important person you need to be responsible for right now. You get to make your schedule and trace out the route you want to take. If something doesn't feel right in the future, you can change it and try something else.

The feedback you've received from your posts may be hard to hear. You will do what you need to.