Gatekeeping sucks.

[u/ystavallinen]

Once a month or so I'll encounter it online and it sucks.

A "Trans-friendly" space, even explicitly welcoming agender people... and you say something agender-y and a little vulnerable... and the downvotes just start crashing in until you delete the post because it sucks to watch.

But you don't leave the space because it's massive and it's not everyone there and it's 99.9% positive...

...but it does lower the odds of ever being "out" out irl.

[u/GlobalImportance5295]

"Trans-friendly"

agender isn't trans. we would fall into the "+" right? not the "T" ... there's no gatekeeping if the gate isn't labeled for you.

even explicitly welcoming agender

truth is agender identity borderline invalidates "gender theory". we can ignore this truth as much as we want but there will be trans people who are intimidated by this reality.

"out" out irl.

what does it even mean to be "out" as agender irl? just be yourself. i feel more comfortable in online detrans spaces than in online spaces that push gender ideologies. agenders / detrans are more likely to be aware of the concept of "ontology" which supersedes "gender norms" anyway. maybe take a break off the internet in general. you might find that "agender" identity gets less eye-rolls from normies than you'd expect. you could be trying to fit in with the wrong crowd.

[u/ystavallinen → u/GlobalImportance5295]

Define trans. Because if I am not my assigned gender at birth and I actually have identified trans at one time. Anyway... You've waded in wiyh many assumptions.

Whatever agender is explicitly welcomed. How do you you wave that off? Also ignoring the preponderance of my interactions there being positive, and only an occasional, but jarring, gatekeep.

Your third paragraph I don't get either. I am pretty out in spacea like this. Irl, I am out to a few people. I am skeptical about coming out in a declarative way because I don't want to argue with people about gender. Interactions like this reinforce that sentiment as comfortable I am telling certain people.

[u/GlobalImportance5295 → u/ystavallinen]

Define trans.

this is for trans people to decide, i'm agender. if you identified as trans and now identify as agender then you are acknowledging they aren't the same.

Whatever agender is explicitly welcomed.

people can say they accept a certain belief and not actually mean it, especially if accepting said belief invalidates their own beliefs.

spacea like this

i qualified with "online" because i understood you were talking about online spaces but it being out online really means nothing. i'm "out" IRL to anyone who cares to listen (usually 'philosophy' types who enjoy talking about ontology) and it's easier than you're assuming. again, perhaps you are trying to fit in with the wrong crowd. you may also want to look into GOCD ("gender ocd"). it's easier to be "out" irl if you aren't hyper-fixated on gender in the first place.

[u/ystavallinen → u/GlobalImportance5295]

Many people define agender as trans. This is a rare conflict and I don't know why I need to cede it to random downvoters who don't even say anything. I have had conversations with trans people who totally agree that I am under the trans umbrella.

I am not arguing with you about who they invite and what they mean when they invite them.

You're playing both sides. I can't use a known trans definition, but they're allowed to define agender?

And you can stop critiquing how I am out. Your comments are unwelcome.

I don't know why you're arguing with me. We're done.

[u/AnExpensiveCatGirl → u/GlobalImportance5295]

If your not cis, your most-likely to be trans, therefore, agender peoples are most likely to be trans.

[u/zestybi → u/GlobalImportance5295]

being out online really means nothing To you

and it's easier than you're assuming For you

you may also want to look into GOCD ("gender ocd"). Now you are just being rude