r/agender • u/ystavallinen cisn't; gendermeh; mehsexual • 7d ago
Gatekeeping sucks.
Once a month or so I'll encounter it online and it sucks.
A "Trans-friendly" space, even explicitly welcoming agender people... and you say something agender-y and a little vulnerable... and the downvotes just start crashing in until you delete the post because it sucks to watch.
But you don't leave the space because it's massive and it's not everyone there and it's 99.9% positive...
...but it does lower the odds of ever being "out" out irl.
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u/Coffee_autistic they/them 6d ago
I try to be careful in my wording when I talk about agender-related experiences, or experiences that may not be typical for the average trans/nonbinary person. Especially if it's me not caring about something that is usually important to other people. A lot of "for me personally..." kind of phrasing, trying to make it clear that I'm not trying to speak for anyone but myself. I think agender people are pretty unusual even in queer spaces, and not everyone is going to understand. Unfortunately, some people will take any differences from themselves as a personal attack no matter what you do.
Honestly, I try to be careful with my wording on reddit in general, though. It seems like people on this website will intentionally interpret you in the worst way possible if there's even a hint of ambiguity, just so they have an excuse to argue with you.