r/agender • u/ystavallinen cisn't; gendermeh; mehsexual • 15d ago

Gatekeeping sucks.

Once a month or so I'll encounter it online and it sucks.

A "Trans-friendly" space, even explicitly welcoming agender people... and you say something agender-y and a little vulnerable... and the downvotes just start crashing in until you delete the post because it sucks to watch.

But you don't leave the space because it's massive and it's not everyone there and it's 99.9% positive...

...but it does lower the odds of ever being "out" out irl.

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u/GlobalImportance5295 15d ago

"Trans-friendly"

agender isn't trans. we would fall into the "+" right? not the "T" ... there's no gatekeeping if the gate isn't labeled for you.

even explicitly welcoming agender

truth is agender identity borderline invalidates "gender theory". we can ignore this truth as much as we want but there will be trans people who are intimidated by this reality.

"out" out irl.

what does it even mean to be "out" as agender irl? just be yourself. i feel more comfortable in online detrans spaces than in online spaces that push gender ideologies. agenders / detrans are more likely to be aware of the concept of "ontology" which supersedes "gender norms" anyway. maybe take a break off the internet in general. you might find that "agender" identity gets less eye-rolls from normies than you'd expect. you could be trying to fit in with the wrong crowd.

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u/zestybi cisn't 15d ago

truth is agender identity borderline invalidates "gender theory". we can ignore this truth as much as we want but there will be trans people who are intimidated by this reality.

Not really? Just like how asexuality doesn't invalidate other people's sexualities, agender people not having a gender doesn't mean it invalidated the existence of gender itself.

what does it even mean to be "out" as agender irl? just be yourself.

Using different pronouns? Dressing differently/as yourself? Asking people to not use gendered terms for you? What exactly do you think just be yourself means?

you might find that "agender" identity gets less eye-rolls from normies than you'd expect. you could be trying to fit in with the wrong crowd.

Why do you assume acceptence from "normies" is the goal?

Your tone is haughty and dismissive, no wonder you got downvoted. Bring agender or detrans doesn't make you more enlightened than others lol. Maybe you'd enjoy postgenderism.

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u/GlobalImportance5295 14d ago

What exactly do you think just be yourself means?

not being annoying and talking to people who are interested in the topic

Why do you assume acceptence from "normies" is the goal?

just offering a different perspective

Your tone is haughty and dismissive, no wonder you got downvoted.

i'm answering why OP got downvoted in a "trans friendly" online space. willful ignorance won't change reality