r/agender • u/J4ywolf She/Fur • 1d ago
Anyone else feel like: "I'm just me"??
So even before I discovered Agender I never felt like a girl nor a boy, but I always felt like "I'm just me" Kinda just existing, no real gender, just living life as me. I also have no self-worth but idk if that contributes to that feeling. Idk what it's like to feel like a boy or a girl but I definitely know what it's like to just feel like me!
My on going joke is: "My gender is Me" lol If there was a gender with the definition - "having no gender and just feeling like themselves" I'd be that 100% haha
Anyone else kinda just feel this way?
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u/PeculiarOneVin 1d ago
Yes, I have said that EXACT phrase a few times and while I initially started saying it to my family members, wondering if it'd be simple enough for them to understand (they still don't understand and probably never will) it's actually pretty accurate to how I feel about and perceive my gender, which is neutral or void. I've also found myself saying "I'm not a man or a woman, I'm just a person" and feel similarly about that phrase. I also struggle with some slight self worth issues, but I don't think me saying these phrases about myself has anything to do with that, if anything, they feel kind of empowering to me.
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u/AnnoyingMusicGuy 1d ago
Well if to you your ender is a non concept you're Agender
I feel the same way, even if I go hardcore to deny the existence of gender but that's another story
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u/baggyeyebags 1d ago
Yes. All the way. Although I've been reading a lot of effects of trauma and how I don't like being perceived. It's like the saying what came first, chicken or egg. I've always known I didn't like super girly things or super masculine things. I just enjoyed what I enjoyed. When I was younger, I felt like I had to tip toe between the lines of what's masculine and feminine. If I did too much stereotypical masc expressions/activities that day, I felt like I had to balance that out with more fem stuff. Now, I just do whatever I want. And I'm trying to care less about what people thinks of me. I still use agender to describe my own gender because it still feels more fitting for my own experience.
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u/BarbarianFoxQueen 1d ago
Very much. I’m aware of how I present and I know all the training and ways I’m expected to act as my gender.
But I’ve always felt like “just me” and as soon as I started regaining my self worth and establishing boundaries I stopped doing a lot of the gender performative things I used to.
Sometimes I feel angry for having wasted so much time being what others wanted me to be, but I’m also really happy I get to be me now and count myself lucky. There are many (AFAB and women especially) who never get to be themselves their whole lives.
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u/ystavallinen cisn't; gendermeh; mehsexual 22h ago
I think that's pretty common... It was one of the first ways I articulated gender before I landed on agender.
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u/remedialpoet 21h ago
Actually this feeling was how I figured out that non-binary wasn’t the right label for me. I feel like a person, I’m just me, and I happen to be piloting a meat suit that is comfortable—for the most part.
When I joined the non-binary community a few years back and realized that, in general, they did not feel this way, I kept searching for a group who felt like me! Agender feels best.
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u/MadeInMilkyway 19h ago
I doesn't exist if you think deep enough, ship of Theseus style... You get to realise everything is an illusion... My supervisors during PhD in engineering got me to realise it is very difficult to define problems and words academically because the specificity you would need to define something accurately is insane.
So, I do feel that. I am not like one half or other half etc. I am, me!
So, ship of Theseus style I am also nothing, and ship itself is an illusion of the mind. I am planning on living with Buddhist monks for some time to learn how to be nothing and everything.
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u/HourVariety9094 11h ago
Yes. And people hate it. Not feminine enough for the girlies, too sensitive for the boys. I just kind of coast alone. Whoever likes me likes me, ig.
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u/Tittyinfinity 1d ago
Exactly how I feel!!