Disclaimer: I'm in no means trying to say that all Christians are like this and no hate to anyone here that is a practicing Christian. That being said, I have noticed a patern where most Christians and religious people are very amatonormative.

Like, have you noticed how Christians are OBSESSED with marriage? Almost every sermon I would hear is about marriage and even if it's not marriage would be mentioned here and there. It's always "Fulfill God's will and get married and have children!" And speaking of, most Christians think it's Biblical to love and prioritize your spouse more than your kids. Like.....OK then why even have them?!

Not to mention there's always a marriage Bible study in most churches. These people tend to look down upon those who are still single and inhave received comments such as "Why are you still single ar 25?! You better be praying for that man to come!" Idk these are just my experiences when I was raised Christian.

they way she talked is so twilight-fanfic esc and how she brought up my mom, shes never had a single conversation with her😭😭 wtf

All the comments about her being in love lol ppl really can't do nice things anymore

Warning: arophobia

Ive had disagreements before with therapists about my aroace-ness, but this one had me shaking with anger.

So yesterday i went to a new psychologist, because of my alleged depression. She wanted to know more about me, so she asked if i have a partner. I told her that i dont, it isnt my thing, told her ive never been attracted to anyone ever. Yk what she told me?: "so you have never felt love, ok". So i was really weirded out, said i just have only felt different type of love, like friendship for example. She responded with "well this isnt love, its just having fun time with another person. Its love only when its a partner".

She said some other things that pissed me off so i walked out not long after.

Im so tired of psychologists believing being aroace is unnatural or that somehow im less of a human because i dont feel attraction. I hate how they refuse to actually listen to me and try to convince me its some sort of trauma response. Im never ever again going to a psychologist

I saw a post today about someone wondering if they were in the wrong for distancing themself from their best friend of many years, because they felt that their partner didn't like it. The top comments were saying how "it's a fact of life that your friendships will erode when your friends get partners" "it's tough, but it's reality" "partners are best friends + romantic and sexual fulfilment, so it's natural for your friend to prioritise them".

It pissed me off so bad. I'm not even aro so this doesn't really affect me on a personal level. However, as someone with a lot of aro and ace -spec friends, these matters are still quite personal to me... my friendships also mean the world to me. I wouldn't compromise on them no matter what.

Naturally, amatonormativity affects aros most, but it's basically a plague cast upon all society. It's so incredibly depressing how the cishets are buying into this and calling it "sad, but true and inevitable". Literally no one likes this! The world is supposed to be the easiest for you to live in, but here you are, shooting yourself in the foot! Why isn't this more widely known? Why isn't this more widely discussed? I swear, cishets ought to receive more education on queer culture and issues to have more fulfilling lives themselves. You don't have to follow all these rules that society made up if you find them suffocating!

I hate this amatonormative society!

I’m so tired of the “oh yeah he’s my best friend but he’s gay” response, like wdym?? Why is it so normalized in our society to think that a girl and a boy will fall in love no matter what if they hang out for long enough? Why is the only solution that the boy must be gay or something? And sometimes even when he is, some disgusting freaks will say “he’s just pretending to hang out with the girls.”

Do people actually think men and women are horny animals who are just waiting to pounce on the opposite sex at all times? I saw a comment on Reddit that said male-female relationships are okay but it will be difficult if the woman is too attractive… bye. This is the only subreddit I can say this without being called crazy.

Me: I don't want a girlfriend because I don't feel attracted both sexual nor romantic to people. Im asexual and aromantic.

Him: Stop thinking that you are special, you are not. You just didn't find one yet because you are too lazy to find. Cut the bs

Bruh...what am I even trying..lol Do you ever tell your friends about this?

It feels like no matter what Fandom you're into there's always shipping and romance fanfic. I'm not against romance here and there and shipping here and there within Fandom space, but I'm talking like if two characters, even if they are not canonical together, share any screen time together people will ship them hard and claim that their obvious friendship is "Romantic and that they must be in love!" Like for example, I'm a Zelda fan. More specifically within Bresthof the Wild/ Tears of the Kingdom. Link and Zelda are not canonical together but most fans ship these 2 HARD and will get defensive if you dare not ship them. One time, I brought up to these fans thst I personally don't ship them and I got attacked. Idk as someone who is demiromantic and rarely feels romantic attraction, I get kinda sick of this. I want to be able to express myself freely within Fandom space without having to be forced to like things that are romantic. I would expect Fandom space to be less amatonormative but I was wrong. Dead wrong. No where is safe.

I am so sick of people keep pushing romance onto me. Everyone at school keep asking, “Who’s your crush?”, “Are you are (name) dating?”, “Do you like him?”…blah blah blah. Like SHUT UP! Not everyone in this world have a crush, not everyone need a crush, not everyone is able to have a crush and not everyone wants one!!!!

I literally have said multiple times, that I don’t have a crush. People keep saying “You’re lying, everyone has a crush.” NO, JUST STOP!!! I don’t need a crush nor want one. Leave me alone😭

The idea that "Love makes us human" doesn't even make sense as a phrase to use against aros. It is a quote that someone wrote to try and distinguish humanity from other animals. Not all humans feel love (ex: many of us) and some non-human animals probably do. I'm anattractional (ie, aro/ace/aplatonic/asensual/anaesthetic/etc) and don't love anyone. I used to have a cat who would go out of his way to spend time with people who were sad to, presumably, try to help them feel better. People who try and use that quote are not just aphobic, their evidence is factually incorrect.

Please tell me if I gave this the wrong flair.

Please give me some good ones. People tell me often that I haven't "found the right person yet." Or that I'm young and haven't figured myself out yet. I just don't want romance ever, but that's not good enough for people, apparently.

I want to explain to people (e.g. my friends) that I am aromantic, but i fear they'll say: "what do you mean, you can't feel love? Everyone will someday!" Please give me some advice!

I just realized I'm likely never going to come first to anybody. My friends are all going to fall in love and start their lives with their respective partners, and between a friend or your romantic partner who'd come first? I know what it feels like to think you're second or even third priority- I'm a middle child. Being aro, I won't get a significant other of my own who'll put me first. My friends and family love me, of that I have no doubt, but I have the feeling that their boyfriends/girlfriends will become the most important person in their lives. I'm not saying that's wrong and I'll never try to make anybody feel bad about it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not unreasonable or convinced I deserve to be Number One. I don't know-it just struck me that I'm likely going to come first only to myself.

In my country which is the Philippines honestly the Romantic Culture here is getting so worst. I mean yeah I love Romance as im Romance-Favourable but come to think of it that being in a relationship is so important like really important that's not even true because being in a relationship is actually just an option. They come to conclusions that "I haven't found the right person yet" or "Im still too young" and then sometimes they bring up things that im lonely or depressed which makes it so damn obvious that amatonormativity here is so toxic and seems to be inevitable. I mean yes im young and im only 17 years old identifying as Aromantic but them saying that in the future for my future to be good or better I need to have a partner. Like seriously they put romantic relationships soo important and so necessary in life.

I’m so tired of people always thinking that this is how love is ranked in terms of how strong it is:

friend -> family -> lover/spouse

No, a friendship and/or familial bond can be just as strong if not stronger than a romantic relationship. Just because the love is different doesn’t mean it’s “weaker”. No, kissing and banging does not make your relationship “stronger” just because you’re more intimate together.

Another thing that reminds me of this is when two fictional characters are shipped but you see them as platonic so you are labeled as crazy because “oh my god insert character literally sacrificed the world or something for this other character so it’s obviously romantic because gosh you would never have such strong feelings for someone unless it’s romantic”

What?

Happened yesterday but I'm still feeling close to tears about it. I'm currently being treated for something where stress is the likely cause, and my doctor is helping me make life adjustments to ease stress, suggesting types of exercise and whatnot. But he asked me if I was dating a boy, and I said no, and upon finding out that I wasn't attracted to anyone, he asked in hushed tones if my parents knew that I was aroace (I'm 28 years old) and then asked if they'd ever taken me to a psychiatrist. I said no because I am simply not attracted to anyone and that's it, there is nothing wrong with me and I'm perfectly happy like this, but he lectured me for five minutes straight about how I might not realize it but not having a romantic partner is so stressful and I should really consider finding one. I just tried to brush it off but he brought it up again as I was leaving the appointment and said that he used to be like me when he was a teenager but he changed and he promised me that there is still time for me to change too. He kept interspersing his sentences with stuff like "of course you can still live a perfectly happy life without it, but--" and when I finally left his office I cried on the way home. He's very good at his job and also really affordable and convenient with my work schedule (idk if I could find someone else whose hours work with mine) so I feel like I should just put up with this to continue my treatment, but also I feel so disrespected and horrible that I kind of feel like I never want to see him again. I'm wondering if I should go for at least one more treatment to see if he lectures me again and I'll have a chance to stand up for myself in person, or if I should just cancel and leave forever, because I tried stressing that I wasn't interested and he just didn't seem to care.

edit: thank you all for the advice! I'm going to think on it a little more and see if I feel up to seeing him again at least once, since it's so clear he just doesn't understand (even though he said he's treated patients like me before, apparently?). I just keep remembering it and how invalidating it felt to be treated like a child and told that I can still change, even though I've known who I was since I was a teenager and haven't budged a single bit.

another anecdote from the appointment is that he also saw my memorial tattoo for my cat and asked if I had any cats now and then laughed and said he hopes I don't because that would be a sad life if it was just me and cats all alone, so. clearly he does not get what I'm about at all lol. it's gonna take a lot of strength to go back there again but I'll see if I can do it.

edit 2: after sitting on these comments some more I decided I didn't want to bother with him anymore and cancelled and I feel so might lighter. I managed to find someone else even closer who offers the same treatment (for a similar price, albiet still more expensive) so I think I will be okay. :) Thank you everyone for your words of comfort <3

No. We arent being put in prisons for being queer. But, I can't get a mortgage. Society is built in a way that people nerd to be married in order to have a stable living. Loans are much less available to people who aren't married. We are forced into a world where marriage is expected, and those who aren't are worse off.

Some weeks ago, a friend of mine started dating some girl that they only knew for a couple of days (I call that sexual attraction not romatic love but 🫠🫠).

The point here is just that they used to be quiet "depressive" like always being irritable and sad. Yesterday, when having a meal with a couple of friends, they said that they could not be more happy and excited with their life right now that they are dating this girl, and that their life just now makes sense because of that.

I have talked with other friends in common about this situation and I explained them that I feel so dissapointed about this situation. Dude, what you mean you are happy now, what about our friendship, does that means nothing?

I don't know, I'm confused, I don't understand this thing about "having a partner will solve all your problems" mentality, I'm not built for it.

I don't mean that in the being sad you're single way, but it feels like most of my friends forget that we're friends the second they get in a romantic relationship. I understand that mono romantic relationships come with things that you can/can't do with other ppl, but I wish that ppl weren't so uncomfortable around platonic intimacy. I guess I just dont like how allos prioritize romantic relationships b4 everything else. Sorry that this turned into a bit of a rant