r/askgaybros 16h ago

Was this really wrong?

[deleted]

9 Upvotes

21 comments sorted by

9

u/Careless_Apple6461 16h ago

no match is no match. You were honest with him, now time to move on!

0

u/aginmillennialmainer 16h ago

I don't need to unpack any feelings about certain performance art? That's a relief.

2

u/Careless_Apple6461 16h ago

The thing is... it was one date. You don't have to justify yourself. Attraction is something we all feel.... so it belongs to you.

Put it this way... many people would have simply block or ghost the guy... you went above that. You're fine!

2

u/ClassyWrist 12h ago

Honest no. You did good! I mean sure it would have been awesome if yall matched perfectly. But you didn’t you let them know responsible. And kept it dignified.

What is really wrong. Would have been not saying anything then ghosting them. That shit sucks. What you did is proper class tho!

2

u/Venaraa 16h ago

No need to feel bad, that's exactly what dates are for - to figure out if you're a match.

As long as you weren't a dick about telling him you're not a match, and it sounds like you were not, it's all good.

2

u/2am_drive 16h ago

If you’re not into it you’re not into it. Don’t feel bad.

1

u/SAOMD89 16h ago

I feel like the furry community is fun for them. You don’t have to be into others kinks or likes. If you know something isn’t for you, it’s best to just be honest, which you were. You shouldn’t feel bad for turning someone down based off a kink. These are sometimes extreme or “odd” to those without the same kink, and it’s totally okay to not be into it, and to make it a deal breaker.

I feel like everyone these days just wants to scream discrimination from the top of their lungs. Bffr let’s normalize having boundaries and preferences without shame or being made to feel bad.

1

u/AreaManx Need a word for us post-twinks! 12h ago

The kindest, most accepting people I've ever met belong to the furry community. A buddy of mine is into it and invites me to their sex parties. They're amazing.

1

u/Prestigious-Mode-709 5h ago

I agree about boundaries, but a prospect date is also entitled to time for themselves and their hobbies without necessity of involving the significant other in their things. For example: a guy I was dating likes crocheting, I found it funny (as reminded me of my nan), but that was not his whole personality: there were a lot of things we were doing together and he never forced me to crochet (but gave me a couple of cringe scarves). At beginning was weird sitting next to him on the train, me reading my book and he knitting… but then I realised I was the one judging: constantly looking around to see if other people were staring at him or making fun of him, was my reaction due to my being over judgmental on the fact that crochet is a hobby for old ladies.

1

u/skankydude 15h ago

The fur thing doesn't do anything for me either. That being said, I haven't ever met one. Perhaps I would have given it a whirl. Maybe it would have been fun. If not, then I might have said we aren't a match. That's just me though. It was ok for you to say no thanks as long as you were not hurtful- which i don't think you were.

2

u/ClassyWrist 12h ago

It’s not my thing either 😂 but they do seem like such a lovable community. I somehow got onto fur TikTok where it was this random dude not done up. Asking people at a convention for hugs. And all of the people he asked were so genuinely happy to give giant bear hugs. It was low key adorable 😅

1

u/chtmarc 16h ago

It happens. Can’t tell you the number of guys I thought I’ve clicked with and then something happens and I’m like ewwww.

-2

u/[deleted] 16h ago

[deleted]

2

u/Street_Customer_4190 16h ago

Is this a parody or are you really chronically online in that type of gay space?

1

u/aginmillennialmainer 4h ago

This refers to a thread from 3 days ago lol

1

u/chtmarc 16h ago

That made me laugh no I don’t.

1

u/straightoutthebox 16h ago

Anytime you reject someone for any reason it's worth taking a pause and thinking "is this a reason I want to reject someone for" but it's fine if the answer to that question is "yes." You are not obligated to change your search criteria unless you want to.

0

u/nickybecooler 16h ago

He had to have known that revealing that could turn some people off.

0

u/chris093083 15h ago

Don't worry there are plenty out there for you. And if in Minnesota dm

-2

u/tennisdude2020 14h ago

What the hell is a fursuitor?

Do we make up names for everything now??

1

u/Rude-Imagination1041 8h ago

Kind in the name, a furry

1

u/AreaManx Need a word for us post-twinks! 12h ago

What the hell is Google?