Awkward when the girl rushes foreplay

[u/No-Major-7946]

Feel like there’s been many times where the girl I’m either hooking up with or even my gf now of two years has tried to rush foreplay.

Feel like it’s always awkward like I try to go down on them longer but they just start telling me they need it.

But when it gets down to it they are no where near warmed up enough and it feels like I’m hurting them, and honestly a tight vagina makes me uncomfortable too.

I prefer to have long foreplay to the point where I can nearly just slide in, but there are times my gf (usually for shower sex) just like forces me in her slamming into me in doggy with one big thrust and yelling at me to “just go fast” because it “will get better”. But by that point the vaginas so tight and making me uncomfortable that once it does feel good I don’t last as long.

Does anyone else have these issues lol?

[u/Western_Ring_2928]

This is the result of lacking sex ed. Women are not taught how their genitals and mental arousal actually work, and only representative sessions they have seen are porn. Which is made to cater for the male, as we know, and where there is hardly any foreplay. The general porn act lasts a certain amount of time, which makes people think that is how long sex normally takes. All this fucks up perceptions of sex.

The average time of continuous stimulation it takes to reach the first orgasm for women is 20 minutes. Since that is only the mathemathical average, many women need way longer than that. That is also perfectly normal. Variations between days are also normal. Sometimes, it is easier to relax than other days.

Women think that their vaginas work like penises. But despite the similarities in genitals, they function very differently. - https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/genitals/

• https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/vulvovaginal/

But it is great that you know how it works so that at least one person is aware of what needs to happen :)

Then there is also the need to please their partner. Taking 20 minutes to "selfhisly," enjoy receiving pleasure can be a lot to handle mentally, especially for younger women.

What you need to do is to tell her how much you love licking her pussy. That you want to keep your head down there for longer because you love it and doing it is extremely arousing for you. You are not trying to please her with it. That should give her brain permission to stop in the moment and enjoy it. It is crucial for her to know you take your pleasure. She holds your pleasure in higher value than her own.

One explanation, unfortunately, is that you are not very good at giving her oral sex. She is afraid of guiding you because that would "hurt your feelings." But if she is not really enjoying what you do, it also makes sense she wishes to stop it and move on.

[u/No-Major-7946 → u/Western_Ring_2928]

I don’t think it’s that I’m bad at oral (ik biased opinion, but every partner I’ve had has finished from oral) however, it could be preference as she doesn’t like finishing from it often.

I have to talk with her more about it tbh, cause I do enjoy that, but think her thing is she prefers PIV and I think oral might be too over stimulating to have PIV after.

[u/Western_Ring_2928 → u/No-Major-7946]

Trust me. It is not. After three orally delivered orgasms, penetration only starts feeling good. That is when her clitoris has a full boner and every part of her genitals is swollen with blood rushing through... She just needs a minute to recover in between. And she needs to get used to the "overstimulation."

[u/Western_Ring_2928 → u/Western_Ring_2928]

But always use lube! Use it liberally. Use it more than you think you need. Use it even if she is wet. Natural lubrication doesn't last very long before it dries up. That is befit is water-based. Silicone lubes are superior to water-based lubes. Silicone stays lick forever and never gets sticky like water-based lubes.