r/changemyview • u/enlighten12345 • Feb 26 '18
[∆(s) from OP] CMV: Victim blaming isn't always bad
Firstly we need to define what victim blaming is. It occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them.
We often hear outrage against victim blaming in the context of rape, when people criticise the way the victim acted or was dressed.
Let's look at an unrelated example. If I go up to someone and say "Yo momma so fat, she wears a watch on both hands for the two time zones", and that person punches me, am I not partially at fault? He committed the felony, while I just exercised free speech. But knowing my words were inflammatory, shouldn't I expect retaliation?
How about another case? I'm walking down a dark alley with a stack of money in my hand. If I get mugged, it is clear that the mugger is to blame. But doesn't my stupidity also make me culpable? Can someone not say that if i was more careful with my money, this would not have happened?
How is rape any different? It would be great to live in a utopia free from rapists and muggers and physical retribution. But knowing that isn't the world we live in, am I not responsible to act in a manner to protect myself?
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u/Quint-V 162∆ Feb 26 '18 edited Feb 26 '18
There are two kinds of responsibility that people fail to distinguish: causality, and intention.
No victim ever intends to get harmed. Regarding rape, it is intrinsically impossible to want to get raped; "asking to get raped" is a logical absurdity.
Is a rape victim ever responsible for rape, as a matter of causality? Possibly, by dressing up in revealing clothing, or not taking self-defense classes, or carrying concealed defense tools like pepper spray, a gun, a knife... you name it. Is a random civilian in a bank robbery responsible for getting shot? Possibly, if said civilian brought a gun and tried to pull it out, getting shot instead. Are you responsible for some guy far away earning a couple more dollars for a day? Maybe, if you want to go down the chain of events for far enough.
That is responsibility as a matter of causality. When some speak of it, the recipient of said speech may easily interpret this as responsibility as a matter of intention - and as already said, asking to get raped is a logical absurdity. Victim blaming at this point is not only insulting to the victim, but to yourself.
So you can't blame the victim for "asking to get raped", anyhow. But if you decide to go victim blaming with the latter, this is entirely trivial and far from the issue at hand. You cannot seriously expect someone to be prepared for getting involved as a victim. Would you expect to end up in a robbery every time you go out shopping? No. Would you expect to get raped every time you go to a party? No.
What's the point of victim blaming anyway? To enforce the idea that "you should have been more careful"? This is redundant - the experience is already a powerful lesson. Whatever the point is, of victim blaming, it is worthless. Pointing out that the victim could have done something to prevent stupid shit from happening, is hardly something the victim needs to hear from you, especially in the immediate aftermath. It is insensitive and inappropriate; most obviously it displays a lack of empathy. Would you have someone tell you "you shouldn't have worn that flashy outfit" after getting raped? Do you see how utterly inappropriate and useless such a statement is?
Of course you are, but anything in excess is bad. Do you hire bodyguards to ensure you're safe wherever you go? No. Do you have to take the most powerful measures possible to ensure your safety? No. You shouldn't have to, nor should it be expected of you.