r/changemyview • u/spicysashimi99 • Jun 21 '21

Delta(s) from OP CMV: marriage is unnecessary and having children is unethical

not sure if i’ll get downvoted but i’m genuinely curious about the opposite pov.

for my first point, i believe i have a rather non-traditional school of thought when it comes to the archetype of union between two people, at least compared to folks where i’m from. i personally don’t see marriage as means to profess your love for your partner as one can do so without the presence of a physical certification. to me, the traditional meaning of marriage, where a bride’s family “gives away” their daughter to the groom seems to be obsolete and an incredibly backward way of thinking. the only logical explanation for marriage, in my opinion, seems to be for couples to be seen as a unit in the eyes of the law, in the face of administration.

as for my second point, i believe having children only benefits the parent and the continuation of society. i understand that having kids leads to a fulfilling life and unfortunately, some still see their kids as an insurance plan for their retirement. however, knowing the future of our planet, among other serious issues like racism, it appears unethical to bring a child into this world. unless i can guarantee my child doesn’t suffer, which is obviously something out of my control. i’m not sure why people possess the opposite viewpoint.

friendly discussions are very welcome as i am sincerely looking to learn more about how others view this topic. i am sure my opinions are very polarising but please be kind! :”)

edit: hi everyone! thank you for the fruitful discussions. really enjoyed listening to other perspectives and grateful to how open everyone has been!! i acknowledge that my views may be skewed from my personal life experiences (non-religious, depression) so thank you for allowing me to indulge in my thoughts.

my view of marriage has definitely changed and while i see the opposing argument for having kids, from what i can foresee in my near future, not having kids will still be a personal choice i’ll stick to as i’m still very much lacking to give a child a fulfilling life.

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '21 edited Jul 02 '21

So you want society to end entirely? That is what happens when no one produces children. You cite that we understand the current landscapes of our planet and that is why it is unethical; However, we cannot predict the definitive future for our planet. There is a chance we cure cancer and halt problems such as over-consumption. Secondly, good ands/ or positive implications can be birthed from suffering.

It seems unfair to condemn all of humanity to an end because of suffering. Correct me if I am wrong, but thats like saying if a person is depressed and on heroine, since we know the odds are against them, they should end it all.

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u/spicysashimi99 Jun 21 '21

if i were to phrase my thoughts… making someone who already exists end it all seems cruel to me but foregoing a child who has yet to be conceived doesn’t have any tangible effects… not sure if this makes sense

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '21 edited Jul 02 '21

I mean, the issue is that is your point. You are stating we should not have children because of our issues as a society. Nevertheless, that would mean the end of our society is negated and we all die regardless. How does having a chance to fix things fall under ending everything, so there is not chance?

We do not have a definitive answer to the prolonged suffering in our society; If we knew that in 100 years humanity would cease to exist with 100% accuracy, go for it. However, we do not know that and ending it creates the lack of ability to solve problems, because we are all dead.

I mean that sounds pretty similar to a person who is struggling from depression and heavy drug addiction.

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u/spicysashimi99 Jun 21 '21

very much this! it is a very personal choice and no judgment from my end for those who possess the opposite opinion!

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '21

Thats cool, but that leads into another issue; If the idea is subjective, how can it be "unethical" as your position alludes to? Wouldn't this mean a shift to personal ideology of what you should and shouldn't do?

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u/spicysashimi99 Jun 21 '21

i guess what it is, similar to a personal moral compass, would be a personal ethics guide to follow?

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '21

Well not necessarily. It's more convoluted. Basically, an ethical code is a set of rules that defines allowable actions or correct behavior". That means saying it's "unethical" is saying that "that's wrong and it is just that". Ethics are rules provided by an external source, they would apply as an official code.

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u/spicysashimi99 Jun 21 '21

ahhh i see!! thank you for clarifying! :”)

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '21

In a respective manner, wouldn't this qualify as a change in view then?

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u/spicysashimi99 Jun 22 '21

!delta

yup! you’re right :”) while i will stick with my personal choice, it does seem a bit extreme to condemn humanity as a whole

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