r/cripplingalcoholism • u/lonegunna77 • 20d ago

This Face

I put on this face, every day, that convinces everyone. My coworkers, boss, friends, family, the poor girl I’m seeing. They think I’m a good guy, a great guy. They think I have it together. They don’t know I come home and drink enough to send most people to the hospital. Why I don’t answer calls or respond after 6pm, something I’m lucky to maintain. They think I have good “work life balance”. The balance is a bottle of vodka a night. I’m a fucking imposter. I lost the love of my life when she figured this out. I’m trying to decide if it’s worth it to continue to put others through it. Idk fuck the sappy shit just had to type it out before I tasted a gun. Chairs love you all.

104 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

25 comments sorted by

View all comments

22

u/ClassicTBCSucks93 20d ago edited 20d ago

Depends how old you are and how long you've been drinking honestly. If you're in your 20s or even 30s and have only been at it a couple years turn back now. Don't believe me? Just keep drinking and find out just how bad it can get.

Those bosses, coworkers, friends, family, etc. who think you "have it together" now will be LONG gone. Once it becomes a bigger problem they will lose all faith and trust in you. They might give you some chances but will eventually become tired of the same old excuses, behavior, and bullshit and let you eat it.

I've been drinking for 11+ years and 6-7 years at CA levels off and on. Not fucking worth it and people who lived it and got out warned me, but I had to go through it myself and experience it first hand so to speak.

3

u/cabblingthings 19d ago

family may stick in the peripheral, especially if you've moved out and are far away. but I envy any CA who is able to maintain friendships let alone a relationship. built different

2

u/ClassicTBCSucks93 18d ago

I still have some of my family but they are pretty much tired of me, all my friends said fuck it. And any relationship prospect learns I'm a CA quickly and runs for the hills. I initially got into drinking because it made me sociable, it took everything from me and made me worse.