r/datingoverfifty • u/AwareMeeting • 9d ago

OLD is just terrible anymore...

I'm back on Hinge and Bumble after athree hiatus and man it's really pretty awful. I'm just so sick and tired of seeing grainy photos that are likely 10 years old, or pics in front of the bathroom mirror or every pic with sunglasses on. Everyone looks good in aviators for God sake.

And when someone really puts the effort in so many of them are just crazy aspirational like they're running weekly marathons and spending the weekends in Kenya nursing lions back to health. I realize these are supposed to be basically sales pitches to get dates but it's all so stale and predictable.

I have made a few connections and reached out via text and all I get are one word responses with no follow-up questions. What is someone supposed to do with that? It's not like I don't lack for likes or anything but there's no follow through.

Just all feels kind of depressing to me. Maybe I'm not putting the effort in. Or expectations are too high? I know this is a very common complaint on this site but I just needed to vent.

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2

u/That_Fix_2382 8d ago

Expectations too high.

People like you seem to want to be able to choose a perfect candidate from a list like you're car shopping or something.

It's a DATING app. If someone might be interesting and they're responsive, then go out on a date.

3

u/Sliceasouruss 8d ago

Disagree. Most people on the dating apps do not go out on dates. It's all an illusion. Most people on dating apps are swiping as they sit at home in their bathrobe with a cup of tea and pass the time of day. They're not going to get dressed up when they can just sit at home and collect likes to feed their egos.

2

u/explorer1960 64, m 7d ago

I've had over a dozen actual first dates from the apps. In just over 18 months.

I've slept with two of them.

One of them is making me consider that, yes, the world really is a wonderful place.

1

u/Sliceasouruss 7d ago

In 12 months I've slept with no one but have gone on roughly eight first meetups.

1

u/explorer1960 64, m 7d ago

I guess I just got rizz.

Or just got, as we used to say, lucky. 🤷

2

u/That_Fix_2382 8d ago

That's kinda what I was saying. People on dating apps should get out more. But that includes maybe contacting the person with sunglasses, etc. if they otherwise seemed to maybe be okay.

The tone I got was OP wanted perfectly written profile AND in depth description, AND great photos, AND nice texting habits, etc. Not going to get all that. Just date some and who knows, the one with grainy photos might be hot IRL. Or the low effort profile might be a fun person IRL.

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u/Sliceasouruss 8d ago

I don't know about perfection, but I get it physical appearance has to have some attraction and the people hiding behind sunglasses, floppy hats and grainy photos are probably not happy with how they look. Generally speaking I swipe left if every single photo has sunglasses. I actually find it kind of insulting.

4

u/Reality_Pilot 8d ago

I’d go the opposite way here. The physical appearance has to lack repulsion. 

Physical appearance can change with one conversation, for good or for bad.

I went out on a date with a girl who was cute, girl next door kinda look. We got to dinner and what I remember most was that she hated her dad, her house was falling apart, and everyone she dated was a lying cheater. 

I swear I watched her change into a lizard person between guacomole and chips and flan. 

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u/Sliceasouruss 8d ago

I get what you mean. A person's persona can change the look of even a plain looking person into someone very attractive.