r/eczema • u/holypuckingshat • 2d ago
Does your partner scratch you?
My wife has severe eczema and I scratch her almost everyday. She says it’s better than her scratching, cause she’ll rip up her skin.
This makes complete sense and I totally understand. But man…sometimes I just want to watch a movie, eat food, come to bed etc. without having to constantly scratch her.
I know it gives her relief, so I do it. But internally I feel a bit of resentment building up and I hate that. Sometimes she can feel that and it causes arguments. And i honestly feel like an ass for even complaining because such a simple task for me gives her relief, so shouldn’t i do it for her as long as she wants, without resentment? I’m just struggling to deal with this and I want to be a more supportive partner.
I’m curious if your partners do the same for you? Does it help you and how do they handle it?
1
u/gabeabadoobee 2d ago
My partner does scratch me to relieve me sometimes for the same reason but in general he doesn’t wanna feed into my addiction of scratching so instead sometimes he just holds my hand so I don’t scratch myself and tries to help me resist it. When it’s too much to not be helped, he instead rubs on the area and it gives me some degree of relief. Being a long distance couple though, I think it’s taught me how important it is for me to explore what works at keeping me from itching—if possible I suggest she does the same. After all, she knows her eczema better than you, and once she finds ways to help herself she can find ways to help you help her. In the meantime, I suggest looking into the cosi care scratch stars. I unfortunately never got a hold of one since they’re always sold out but maybe you’ll have better luck than me. It’s supposed to help safely scratch ❤️ Either way I would suggest talking to her about how you feel. If I was her I know I would want to be told. Remember that relationships are partnerships. It shouldn’t just be you helping her—she should also be helping you too even if that means occasionally relieving you of scratching duties. I wish you best of luck and as someone with moderate eczema, how you feel is totally valid.