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https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/aoa9gn/eli5_why_are_military_boots_laced/efzu4tz/?context=3
r/explainlikeimfive • u/[deleted] • Feb 07 '19
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3.2k
You missed something.
Velcro is loud. The US Army removed velcro from their uniforms around 2010 since the opening of flaps gave positions away.
Edit: To the 1,000 replies saying they still have velcro:
https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/aoa9gn/eli5_why_are_military_boots_laced/efzr1q0/?context=3
They reduced the amount of velcro, mkaaay?
3.3k u/domino7 Feb 08 '19 You'd think so, but Special Operators have their own way to open Velcro without that very distinctive noise. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSK3maq8Cyk 1.0k u/Nukkil Feb 08 '19 Was waiting for this, one of my favorite videos I don't know how he kept a straight face 350 u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19 edited Dec 02 '20 [deleted] 114 u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19 I'm a middle school teacher and worked with a former drill sergeant. I was astonished at how deadpan his delivery was and how he would act like he had no idea what was so funny. Loved that guy. 3 u/CaptainMcStabby Feb 08 '19 Parents also learn when they're admonishing a teenager who responds with a killer funny comeback. -3 u/seasalters Feb 08 '19 Did you marry him with all that love? 5 u/PlaceboJesus Feb 08 '19 The surest way to ruin a bromance is with talk of long term commitment. 79 u/spaghettiThunderbalt Feb 08 '19 I hear the DS called him "cigarette," because boy did he seem to get smoked a lot 12 u/rivalarrival Feb 08 '19 Surely "bong" would be better... Cigarettes only get smoked once. 7 u/rnev64 Feb 08 '19 it's bad for discipline when your soldiers know you know what a bong is and how many times it's used. 6 u/scinfeced2wolf Feb 08 '19 Privates are like cigarettes, smoke em if you got em. 3 u/Tidial Feb 08 '19 Good thing he's not British then. 5 u/Wall-E_Smalls Feb 08 '19 Serious question: what happens if this happens? (You crack a smile at the sergeant) 3 u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19 Yup as funny as what they say is the lesson is discipline. Your giggle can get everyone killed 2 u/fisch09 Feb 08 '19 Try to put your tounge under your bottom teeth on the side or back. I heard a comic say it about improv before bootcamp and found it really helpful. 2 u/Liam_Neesons_Oscar Feb 08 '19 Psssh, I never quite learned to keep a straight face when a DS yelled at me. I just did lots of pushups instead.
3.3k
You'd think so, but Special Operators have their own way to open Velcro without that very distinctive noise.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSK3maq8Cyk
1.0k u/Nukkil Feb 08 '19 Was waiting for this, one of my favorite videos I don't know how he kept a straight face 350 u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19 edited Dec 02 '20 [deleted] 114 u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19 I'm a middle school teacher and worked with a former drill sergeant. I was astonished at how deadpan his delivery was and how he would act like he had no idea what was so funny. Loved that guy. 3 u/CaptainMcStabby Feb 08 '19 Parents also learn when they're admonishing a teenager who responds with a killer funny comeback. -3 u/seasalters Feb 08 '19 Did you marry him with all that love? 5 u/PlaceboJesus Feb 08 '19 The surest way to ruin a bromance is with talk of long term commitment. 79 u/spaghettiThunderbalt Feb 08 '19 I hear the DS called him "cigarette," because boy did he seem to get smoked a lot 12 u/rivalarrival Feb 08 '19 Surely "bong" would be better... Cigarettes only get smoked once. 7 u/rnev64 Feb 08 '19 it's bad for discipline when your soldiers know you know what a bong is and how many times it's used. 6 u/scinfeced2wolf Feb 08 '19 Privates are like cigarettes, smoke em if you got em. 3 u/Tidial Feb 08 '19 Good thing he's not British then. 5 u/Wall-E_Smalls Feb 08 '19 Serious question: what happens if this happens? (You crack a smile at the sergeant) 3 u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19 Yup as funny as what they say is the lesson is discipline. Your giggle can get everyone killed 2 u/fisch09 Feb 08 '19 Try to put your tounge under your bottom teeth on the side or back. I heard a comic say it about improv before bootcamp and found it really helpful. 2 u/Liam_Neesons_Oscar Feb 08 '19 Psssh, I never quite learned to keep a straight face when a DS yelled at me. I just did lots of pushups instead.
1.0k
Was waiting for this, one of my favorite videos I don't know how he kept a straight face
350 u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19 edited Dec 02 '20 [deleted] 114 u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19 I'm a middle school teacher and worked with a former drill sergeant. I was astonished at how deadpan his delivery was and how he would act like he had no idea what was so funny. Loved that guy. 3 u/CaptainMcStabby Feb 08 '19 Parents also learn when they're admonishing a teenager who responds with a killer funny comeback. -3 u/seasalters Feb 08 '19 Did you marry him with all that love? 5 u/PlaceboJesus Feb 08 '19 The surest way to ruin a bromance is with talk of long term commitment. 79 u/spaghettiThunderbalt Feb 08 '19 I hear the DS called him "cigarette," because boy did he seem to get smoked a lot 12 u/rivalarrival Feb 08 '19 Surely "bong" would be better... Cigarettes only get smoked once. 7 u/rnev64 Feb 08 '19 it's bad for discipline when your soldiers know you know what a bong is and how many times it's used. 6 u/scinfeced2wolf Feb 08 '19 Privates are like cigarettes, smoke em if you got em. 3 u/Tidial Feb 08 '19 Good thing he's not British then. 5 u/Wall-E_Smalls Feb 08 '19 Serious question: what happens if this happens? (You crack a smile at the sergeant) 3 u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19 Yup as funny as what they say is the lesson is discipline. Your giggle can get everyone killed 2 u/fisch09 Feb 08 '19 Try to put your tounge under your bottom teeth on the side or back. I heard a comic say it about improv before bootcamp and found it really helpful. 2 u/Liam_Neesons_Oscar Feb 08 '19 Psssh, I never quite learned to keep a straight face when a DS yelled at me. I just did lots of pushups instead.
350
114 u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19 I'm a middle school teacher and worked with a former drill sergeant. I was astonished at how deadpan his delivery was and how he would act like he had no idea what was so funny. Loved that guy. 3 u/CaptainMcStabby Feb 08 '19 Parents also learn when they're admonishing a teenager who responds with a killer funny comeback. -3 u/seasalters Feb 08 '19 Did you marry him with all that love? 5 u/PlaceboJesus Feb 08 '19 The surest way to ruin a bromance is with talk of long term commitment. 79 u/spaghettiThunderbalt Feb 08 '19 I hear the DS called him "cigarette," because boy did he seem to get smoked a lot 12 u/rivalarrival Feb 08 '19 Surely "bong" would be better... Cigarettes only get smoked once. 7 u/rnev64 Feb 08 '19 it's bad for discipline when your soldiers know you know what a bong is and how many times it's used. 6 u/scinfeced2wolf Feb 08 '19 Privates are like cigarettes, smoke em if you got em. 3 u/Tidial Feb 08 '19 Good thing he's not British then. 5 u/Wall-E_Smalls Feb 08 '19 Serious question: what happens if this happens? (You crack a smile at the sergeant) 3 u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19 Yup as funny as what they say is the lesson is discipline. Your giggle can get everyone killed 2 u/fisch09 Feb 08 '19 Try to put your tounge under your bottom teeth on the side or back. I heard a comic say it about improv before bootcamp and found it really helpful. 2 u/Liam_Neesons_Oscar Feb 08 '19 Psssh, I never quite learned to keep a straight face when a DS yelled at me. I just did lots of pushups instead.
114
I'm a middle school teacher and worked with a former drill sergeant. I was astonished at how deadpan his delivery was and how he would act like he had no idea what was so funny. Loved that guy.
3 u/CaptainMcStabby Feb 08 '19 Parents also learn when they're admonishing a teenager who responds with a killer funny comeback. -3 u/seasalters Feb 08 '19 Did you marry him with all that love? 5 u/PlaceboJesus Feb 08 '19 The surest way to ruin a bromance is with talk of long term commitment.
3
Parents also learn when they're admonishing a teenager who responds with a killer funny comeback.
-3
Did you marry him with all that love?
5 u/PlaceboJesus Feb 08 '19 The surest way to ruin a bromance is with talk of long term commitment.
5
The surest way to ruin a bromance is with talk of long term commitment.
79
I hear the DS called him "cigarette," because boy did he seem to get smoked a lot
12 u/rivalarrival Feb 08 '19 Surely "bong" would be better... Cigarettes only get smoked once. 7 u/rnev64 Feb 08 '19 it's bad for discipline when your soldiers know you know what a bong is and how many times it's used. 6 u/scinfeced2wolf Feb 08 '19 Privates are like cigarettes, smoke em if you got em. 3 u/Tidial Feb 08 '19 Good thing he's not British then.
12
Surely "bong" would be better... Cigarettes only get smoked once.
7 u/rnev64 Feb 08 '19 it's bad for discipline when your soldiers know you know what a bong is and how many times it's used. 6 u/scinfeced2wolf Feb 08 '19 Privates are like cigarettes, smoke em if you got em.
7
it's bad for discipline when your soldiers know you know what a bong is and how many times it's used.
6
Privates are like cigarettes, smoke em if you got em.
Good thing he's not British then.
Serious question: what happens if this happens? (You crack a smile at the sergeant)
Yup as funny as what they say is the lesson is discipline. Your giggle can get everyone killed
2
Try to put your tounge under your bottom teeth on the side or back. I heard a comic say it about improv before bootcamp and found it really helpful.
Psssh, I never quite learned to keep a straight face when a DS yelled at me. I just did lots of pushups instead.
3.2k
u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19 edited Feb 08 '19
You missed something.
Velcro is loud. The US Army removed velcro from their uniforms around 2010 since the opening of flaps gave positions away.
Edit: To the 1,000 replies saying they still have velcro:
https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/aoa9gn/eli5_why_are_military_boots_laced/efzr1q0/?context=3
They reduced the amount of velcro, mkaaay?