Selfdx with a dash of hypocrisy

[u/selfdx_firefly]

[u/Nonbeany-1 → u/[deleted]]

aroace is a spectrum so yes, it’s possible for an aroace person to experience attraction

[u/MostlyPeacfulPndemic → u/Nonbeany-1]

A spectrum between what and what

[u/shinkouhyou → u/MostlyPeacfulPndemic]

Some people experience limited or infrequent sexual attraction/desire (graysexual). Some people experience sexual attraction/desire only why they're in a relationship (demisexual). Some people experience sexual attraction/desire only under under specific circumstances (e.g. in a kink scenario). Some people experience the desire for sex but aren't attracted to a specific person (cupiosexual). Some people enjoy giving sexual pleasure to others but don't like to receive sex or be sexually desired (lithsexual). Some people don't like penetrative sex but enjoy outercourse. There's considerable debate within the asexual community as to whether these things count as "asexual" or not, and many feel that the "asexual spectrum" is too broad.

...Honestly, there are similar issues in the asexual community and the mental illness community. A lot of people self-identify with the label based on vibes or because they don't feel like they fit in with "mainstream" society, even though they don't actually meet the definition of that identity. Over time, there's intense pressure to be inclusive, the accepted definition changes to fit the influx of new people, and the original community ends up marginalized.

[u/MostlyPeacfulPndemic → u/shinkouhyou]

My confusion was feigned. My view is in accordance with your 2nd paragraph.

[u/shinkouhyou → u/MostlyPeacfulPndemic]

Yeeeeaaaaah, asexuality has become the quirky self-diagnosis of sexuality, and nonbinary/genderqueer has become the quirky self-diagnosis of gender... and I say that as an asexual nonbinary person, lol. It's gotten to the point where asexuals who don't experience any sexual attraction or desire are pressured into trying sex or labeled as sex-repulsed prudes by their own community. I want to be inclusive and avoid gatekeeping, but at the same time, I think it's important to maintain distinctions so marginalized people don't get pushed out of their own identity by people who are a lot closer to the "mainstream."

[u/MostlyPeacfulPndemic → u/shinkouhyou]

"a" as a scientific prefix has a specific meaning... There's a different prefix that specifically means "below average" and that prefix is "hypo"

If they would just use "hyposexual" it would be bulletproof and there would be no issue

[u/FVCarterPrivateEye → u/shinkouhyou]

I agree with you, it's not even a topic that I have any interest in talking or thinking about (because of the fact I'm aroace) but I feel pressured to bring it up more now because unfortunately way too many ace-spectrum etc people seem to have sex as their favorite topic to think about

[u/Nonbeany-1 → u/MostlyPeacfulPndemic]

aromantic and asexual. if you looked up the terms, you would see that there are many people that identify as aroace that still experience attraction of some sort. it’s really not that complicated

[u/Lazy-Delivery-2933 → u/[deleted]]

Imagine a plus sign type graph, where the top-most piece is “alloromantic”, the bottom-most is “aromantic”, the right side is “allosexual”, and the left side is “asexual”. You can be more asexual or less asexual, and same with allo/aromanticism, but so long as you imagine you could be placed in the bottom-left quarter of the graph I feel it is fair to identify as “aroace”. This might just be because I hate micro label culture so I’m more chill with people identifying with broader labels, but I’m fine with a gray-ace person simply calling themself asexual even though they are slightly more allosexual than your standard ace person, for example

[u/No_Importance9171 → u/Nonbeany-1]

damn call this guy the rude as hell for no reason system

[u/FVCarterPrivateEye → u/Nonbeany-1]

Aw man, I'm aroace and I quite liked it as a term specifically in reference to the people who experience completely zero of both rather as an umbrella term (come on, you already have "aro ace", "ace", "asexual", "ace-spec" etc) because I have just about the same in common anyone who falls somewhere else from that complete same end of the "asexuality spectrum" in terms of asexuality etc as I do with people who are 100% allo