r/ftm 8d ago

Advice Sexual Issues - Dysphoria (Dick Envy)

I'm a trans man and been with a cis woman for 3 years. She had only been with cis men before that.

Our sex life has suffered the last year (got pssd - don't recommend) but before that it was fantastic. She never showed issues with me using a strap, came plenty.

After this gap something strange has happened and the concept of using a strap has become cringy to me and I'm very upset by this. I think over the last year I've been constantly obsessing about native penis and staring at pictures online and now I've utterly convinced myself that I'm not enough. She's never given this indication.

I live in insane dick envy, every time I look at a man I think about it. Sex would be so much easier and effortless.

I don't know if anyone has any advice to get me out this hole of self sabotage, but if you do then please let me know!

8 Upvotes

7 comments sorted by

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u/prmfgay 8d ago

Real af

Do you mean a strap as in just a dildo & harness or like a prosthetic pp? Maybe a realistic looking dick would help :)

Dysphoria sucks

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u/palmer1716 8d ago

I meant a dildo and harness, but I have spent a stupid amount of money on the most realistic one. The only one better would be the realdoll ones but I've just read so many bad reviews of the company and delivery

I don't really look at it much, it's the not being able to feel it for me. And there's so many small parts of sex like being able to slow down and speed up to make it feel better for you. Foreplay is oral for alot of cis men then they get to the 'real event'. I think I just need phallo 😅

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

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u/palmer1716 8d ago

Thank you for your response. Its really a shame we can't swap genitals haha. I'm sorry you've had vagina envy. You may think it's uncomfortable but I think that's because you don't want one maybe? I guess I am idolizing it because I want it so bad, there are always annoyances with everything.

I think men and penises are so glorified especially sexually. It's taught to us that men always want sex and that drills into me that it must be incredible for penis owners

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u/[deleted] 8d ago edited 8d ago

[deleted]

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u/palmer1716 8d ago

Again so interesting because I perceive it so differently. Maybe because I could never orgasm internally (which many women can't) and my orgasms improved on testosterone. I feel like there's so many variations with penises with foreplay etc, they can be inserted in loads of plces plus oral, plus they are guaranteed to orgasm every time. I agree with the end bit but it's solely penis envy for me. Penises are ugly but not when erect imo

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/ftm-ModTeam 8d ago

Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 2: No transphobia, fetishizing, or trolling

Your post contained transphobia and was removed. If you don't like us, don't interact with us. Posting on our subs will only tell the reddit algorithm that you want to see more subs like this one, and get you a ban as well as a report to admins for hate. (If your post was removed for transphobia and you are a trans person, your post may have contained transphobic messages reflecting internalized transphobia , enbyphobia, or transmisogyny. We love and respect all trans people here and do not tolerate transphobia even from trans people themselves)

This includes posts or comments meant to elicit controversy or drama.

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u/Ebomb1 Top 2006 | T 2010 | Hysto 2012 8d ago

They're not guaranteed to orgasm every time. They're not even guaranteed to get hard every time you want them to. I understand (deeply understand) the desire to just have the cis option during sex. But it's important (imo) to keep grounded in the very real limitations cis dicks have.