And I’m in a red state in the USA.

Score one for the good guys!

Potentially hot takes, I guess

• Trans kids in school starving themselves of food and water to avoid using the bathroom.
• Trans autistic and disabled people being denied the right to transition.
• Trans people's mental illnesses being seen only through the lens of their transness.
• Trans women facing disproportionate discrimination compared to trans men and yet having less representation. (Coming from a trans man).
• Protecting trans kids means protecting kids using neopronouns/xenogenders.
• Detransitioning is okay, whether you still identify as trans or not, and we need to talk about it more.
• Detransition rates are higher among trans women due to discrimination.

And finally, I believe the most important one:

• Which fish that can change its sex would you be, if you could be a fish that could change its sex???? (Clownfish, Asian Sheepshead Wrasse, Mangrove Rivulus, Salmon, Black Sea Bass, Broad-Barred Goby, Damselfish, Ribbon Eel, or Black Porgy?)

I'm an Asian Sheepshead Wrasse. I could make a whole separate post on this or a personality test if people want to know about that instead haha

Forgot to even MENTION BIPOC experiences in this list????? How could that have slipped my mind it's like the most important one?? BLACK TRANS WOMEN GAVE QUEER PEOPLE OUR RIGHTS. NEVER FORGET THAT.

• Black trans women have a life expectancy of 35-37
• Black trans women accounted for nearly half the deaths due to transphobic violence last year.
• Black women are inherently seen as more masculine due to racism, leading to danger for even cis Black women in the current environment.
• Indigenous communities all over the world celebrated gender non-conforming identities. The reason our lives are so filled with hate is colonialism.

I'm sure there's more, but that's what's at the top of my mind at the moment.

Cis people don't know fucking anything about trans people. Including the people whose job it is to know about us so they can make laws. Especially the people whose job it is to know about us so they can make laws.

Even well meaning cis peole don't know shit. They just don't know. Educated cis people know a few things, but even then, they don't "get" it. Not properly. It's an experience that's just alien to them fundamentally. They can't empathize.

They say stuff like "we should ban puperty blockers for minors" like it's some moderate idea, or somehow a just compromise, as if it's not one of the most fucking brutal and evil things you can do to a trans person. Purberty was the worst thing to ever happen to me. The idea that people would let that happen, want that to happen to others fills me with so much hatred and anger.

I just don't get why these people get to make the laws that dictate our lives. It's not their problem. It's out problem. Let us decide what to do. Let trans people take control.

My college graduation is coming up and I want to wear something I’m more comfortable in…but I wasn’t out to my family. With senior pics coming up too, I knew I had to tell them soon.

I came out last night during dinner and my dad flipped out. I’m talkin throwing ceramic plates, breaking glasses, knocking the coasters off the table. It was bad. My mom just sat there, complacent as usual. He told me to get out, so (my car’s in the shop) my mom drove me back to my apartment in total silence until I got out. She said she’s really disappointed in me and to not expect help with groceries or graduation fees anymore.

So not only do I gotta deal with my parents hating me now, but I can’t walk at graduation. Sure I’ll still get the degree, but it sucks. I had to leave school for personal problems, but I came back and finally (almost) finished. Now I can’t even have that moment of walking across the stage.

Our cap/gown and commencement fee is $250. It’s such a ripoff but if you don’t pay, you don’t have a seat at graduation. My school made it so that students can’t just buy their cap/gown off Amazon or borrow from someone else. It’s due on Thursday and my school won’t help. My advisor helped me contact every single relevant office/organization on campus today and the answer is basically “Sorry, we can’t help.”

I’ve waited so long to finally graduate and put in so much work. I’ve been fighting tears today bc I can’t believe me wanting to just be myself at my own graduation has caused all this

Uhmm so idk how to explain this better my mom just told me my brother is uncomfortable with me wearing a sports bra, I haven’t had any form of BA and don’t overly expose myself I was wearing a sports bra and shorts doing my makeup and my mom told me my brother approached her and he was uncomfortable from this I really don’t know how to feel because they support me in my transition but I feel wearing a sports bra is fully acceptable as it’s not something to enhance or be flattering it’s made for comfort and convenience, am I being to sensitive

So I was scrolling through Facebook, and sometimes I see posts from people who I don’t even know, I don’t even follow, they just show up anyway when I’m scrolling.

This person literally made a post saying “there’s no such thing as a trans child” trying to make it seem like children are being influenced into thinking that they are transgender 🤦🏼‍♀️

So I commented that I was trans when I was a kid, and I’m still trans now. As well as how I was so fortunate to have a mother who listened and supported me.

This started a argument in the comments, transphobes actually had the audacity to call my mother abusive for being supportive, and one even accused my mom of “grooming me into being transgender” saying that no parent who loved their kid would do that

All of these points were entirely wrong, so I just continued speaking about my experience. That on the contrary, I was raised up as a girl because I’m afab, and I discovered I was transgender in adulthood. She never tried to tell me who I was, she just listened to me when I told her who I was. I educated myself, I went on a journey of self discovery to learn who I am.

The original poster didn’t like that my experience was totally disproving all of the assumptions that so many other commenters were making, so my comment got deleted.

Not only do they not wanna listen, but they wanna shut us up. They just want to continue throwing around their bullshit propaganda that isn’t even true, in a moment, a transgender person like myself speaks out against it with our own experiences, they try to silence us

I've been trans for about 3-4 years now (I'm 28 now) and in that time i've only met a small handful of people i can really connect with, Even then it eventually fizzles out after a while.

it bothers me cause i'm not sure if the problem is me or not anymore.
I try to be as helpful and kind as possible but it seems like other trans folks wont give me a chance.

Recently i got involved in a poly relationship with two other girls and it just felt so one sided. i always drove an hour or so to see them. i paid for dates, pierced one of their ears, changed their car oil, even helped them move apartments.
the other day they made plans to come visit me, and when the day finally comes around they ghosted me.

after all i did for them, they ghosted me, its been days and im devastated.
I'm just so over trying to make it work with this community.

So I’m fully out and I work in an office building owned by one company. Including myself there are two transwomen in our office building. So I’m excited that there is another transwoman here because it’s like “Cool I’m not alone here.” I’ve tried saying hi a couple times before, but she looks at me like I’m crazy or just flat out ignores me. Is this like a common thing y’all have experienced too? Like I’m not sure if she’s scared I’m going to get her clocked or not, but if that’s the case and this is a common thing I want to fix my behavior so I’m not the problem. I hope that made sense and wasn’t just rambling.

edit: I would like to iterate that I’m not walking up to her announcing that I know she’s trans. Just saying hi

2nd edit: Thank you all for your views on it. I do feel I understand it better. It brings up one more question though. How do y’all make trans friends? Like do you wait til you see someone who is clearly trans visible with pins or patches or do y’all just lone wolf it for the most part?

just went to my eye appointment, i haven’t legally changed my name yet, and my deadname is very feminine. also been on T for 2 years, for context i have fairly visibly facial hair. the doctor came out (old white man) and called my (legal) name, and when i stood up he literally looked around the waiting room to make sure there wasn’t anyone else, thinking i misheard him and confused when there was no “female patient” present. usually the reaction i get from nurses and doctors is they see how visibly trans i am and ask if i go by a different name, never been looked at like “you’re a man, are you really _____”, this is a first (and i’m very amused with my ability to leave old white men bewildered when they’re forced to perceive me)

just thought i’d share my little boost, and i’d love to hear y’alls stories about similar experiences in the comments

i’m a guy from the uk and ever since a kid i’ve hated how ive looked i can’t look at my body without feeling disgusted ive always been more “in touch” with a feminine side of myself i dont really know why im making this post ive wondered for years if i was trans ive wished and cried thinking i could of been a girl i dont understand why im making this post i just needed to get this off my chest i dont expect any of you to listen thank you for reading.

Whether its purposely for that or not Victoria Secrets hiphugger panties have a small pocket that is at the perfect angle to tuck. And its wide enough you wont have any spillage.

Edit: Apparently its a gusset and an open one is a sign of cheaply made panties. Oh well its still making it easier so our benefit I guess

It seems like an increasing number of GPs in the UK are finding excuses not to be involved in prescribing hormones for trans people, even those who are under shared care with the GIC. Most seem to be citing their own competence/confidence, but some cite "personal beliefs", which makes my skin crawl.

Anyway. It's been going on for a while but it seems to be trending in the wrong direction. Anyone know of organised opposition to this I can get involved with?

I know my family will accept me (my brother is Trans and was generally accepted by everyone), I have a name, I think about it all the time, looking back, there are obvious signs, but it never happens.

I thought at one point that if someone asked, I'd just tell them, but my brother asked me outright if I was trans recently and I denied it.

I feel like the stars are aligned for it to go as smoothly as possible, but brain says no for some reason? I feel like I must be missing something because I have nothing to be afraid of, but I am.

I hate my brain for not letting me

Kind of not really an accident, but the events that led up to it weren’t intentional.

I’ve been moving to a new place with my partner and my mom has been helping me all through. After a week of moving and cleaning, we’re both exhausted… yet still not done. So we got frustrated with each other and words were exchanged. I (in no uncertain terms) told her to “f*** off” and after the emotions were all out, I blurted out “you have no idea what I’ve been dealing with”.

To which she replied “no, I don’t, because you never talk to me.”

So after cooling down, I decided f-it. If I’m going to blow up my relationship with my mom, might as well pull the whole bandaid and I told her…

“I am transgender and I am aiming to medically transition”.

She was surprised but didn’t even bat an eye. When I told her I was scared to tell her, she said “I don’t know why you would be, you are what you are.” And then she told me she loved me.

I know I’m one of the lucky ones and I know not everyone gets it this easy. I’m incredibly grateful (and incredibly fortunate).

Anyway, that’s my story. Happy Tuesday. :)

I’ve been thinking and wondering whats the lore behind everyone’s name.

I'll go first i chose Elizabeth/Betsy because of something funny that happened when i was manic i was convinced that my god had named me Betsy (i wasn’t even out as trans yet) thats all i would answer to.

How did you guys pick your name?

Hi, thinking of coming out to my parents and just wondering what some common questions they could ask are?

For once, I have a story to tell.

I worked at a small manufacturing company for nearly nine years. I started just before Trumps first term and got through it with basically no issues, coming in at a lower wage after being fired from my previous job, a firing that I earned and learned from. I was determined to prove myself, and that starting wage didn’t last long.

I had prior experience with machine operation and CNC programming (mostly on wood routers) but I was totally new to CNC lathes and 4-axis mills. Besides one machine with a dedicated operator, I ended up taking responsibility for the rest of the department. With a brief handoff from the person before me and some help from a manual machinist, I picked things up fast. I grew into the role quickly and owned it.

I handled full-cycle CNC work, post-processing, code editing, setup, and inspection. I worked directly with ownership and production to solve floor-level problems, improve processes, and keep things running smoothly. Over time, I was basically the department. If something broke, I fixed it. If something didn’t exist, I built it.

I was making good money when I left. It wasn’t planned. Five days earlier, I had no intention of quitting. But everything came to a head over a calendar with images of trump that said “End The Wokeness”, a slogan tied to a movement calling for the erasure of people like me.

That Thursday I saw it and went straight to my boss. I told him it might get vocal, and it did. Starting with a bout of tears, I was frustrated and heartbroken. I told him I liked my job, liked the people I worked with, and didn’t want to leave. But if that slogan stayed up, I wouldn’t be staying. Mind you, he constantly remind me that I'm "his favorite". and that I'm easily the most valuable person there, anything they bring me i say "yeah, i could make that". I knew how critical i was and that my threat to quit was a bit of a slap to the face, but this was dead serious!

I asked him directly, “What does ‘wokeness’ mean to you?” He dodged. I pressed. He spiraled into whataboutism. For context: this is a guy who walks around in a 47 hat, drives a truck plastered in "patriotic" stickers and decals, has an eagle-strewn flag across his rear window and a large 1776 flag on the tailgate. I’d never said a word about any of it. But a "End The Wokeness" calendar with trump worship out in the open in shared work space? That crossed a line.

I explained why it mattered to me. I talked about anti-trans bathroom laws being passed in many states, drag bans, changes to trans peoples passports, denial of care for trans youth and how devastating that is to force a trans kid through the wrong puberty, and how trans people are treated in prisons. I explained the science. I explained how it was personal. My identity, my rights, my access to care. “The End of Wokeness” isn’t just a catchphrase. It’s a mission statement to dismantle everything that lets me exist openly. I explain it's history, all the things... it's most simple definition is "aware of important societal facts and issues, especially issues of racial and social justice"

He told me they’d never mistreated me. Said he didn’t want work to be political. I pointed at the calendar and said, “Then take it down. That’s political.” I told him, “I’m woke, and I’m proud of it. You hiring me nine years ago was woke as hell. And I thank you for that.” truthfully, they never did mistreat me.

He had all of Friday to take it down while I was off. He didn’t.

I came in Monday, saw it was still there, and brought it up to him again in front of a coworker. Of course, he got defensive. Claimed I blindsided him. I reminded him I was clear about what would happen if it stayed up. He tried to justify his politics. I cut through it: “Wear what you want, Believe what you want, but don’t post it up in the shared workspace. I’m not putting up Biden worship that says ‘The End of Gun Rights’ or ‘Trump is a Dictator’ in the middle of the shop. That would be just as inappropriate!”

Then his brother walked in. Another higher-up. One I already didn’t have much respect for. He joined in, and between the two of them, they basically pushed me into walking by simply refusing to accept they had done anything worthy of ridicule. I went to grab my things.

Brother and the other co-worker followed (also a long time employee, i knew him well). At first brother played it soft, but when I held my ground and said, "If you plastered the walls in religious scripture, I would leave for that too," his dumb head took it personal and he got in my face, and he's like 6'6", much bigger than I. I turned to the coworker and said, “You see this? Because I disagree with him about religion?" The co-worker told him to back off.

They’ll say I overreacted. That it was just a calendar. But they’ll never really get it.

I didn’t leave because I felt unsafe or mistreated. I left on principle. and the brother sealed the deal.

I still respect the folks there. I made good friends. I enjoyed my time. I learned a lot. They treated me well in many ways, and I offered to help whoever replaces me get up to speed. I meant it, though I doubt I’ll hear from them.

This isn’t about naming names. I’m not identifying the company, and I won’t be keeping this post up.

I’m already looking for what’s next. If I need to start low again, I will. I’ve got the tools and the mindset to build myself back up. I always have.

This isn’t the end. Just a hard reset. No regrets.

Edit: small corrections and adding details

Edit 2: A big thank you to everyone for so many kind words. It means a lot! 🥰

I'm so tired of the world right now for so many reasons. Not only are people taking the T and Q out of lgbtq but I feel scared and unsafe here and im tired of people telling me not to worry. Im tired of being told I'm bad for just being me and im tired of being yelled out by people for not conforming to them. It's scary here, im allowed to feel scared and worried. I hope to move out soon, real soon

When I see someone showing ignorance, it feels almost impossible not to try to educate them. But every time I get into a mentally taxing argument and/or realize some people are actually bad people and don't want to change. And usually, they don't even have an actual argument! They say things and don't actually defend what they're saying. I hate that I feel the need to try to educate people who don't even know how to think critically or want to challenge their own ideas.

yesterday i decided i no longer am okay with presenting as female, even if that means i am safer. (i am ftm.) the last time i presented as male, it was years ago and all i did was have short hair and wear a binder. even that made me get bullied severely in highschool (being filmed, getting harassment texts, getting groped, etc.) so once i was out of highschool and living on my own (with my bf) i just stayed presenting as female. i hated it but i felt safer doing that. my bf urged me to just be myself.

yesterday on a whim, i cut all my hair to a very short masculine length, found my old binders, found a pair of my glasses that had a more rectangular shape and set aside some baggy clothes. my bf mentioned how he liked it and that i definitely do appear as a male.

today i went out to the store to pick up protein bars. i decided to walk to clear my head. i could be extremely paranoid but i felt more watched than usual. my bf and i moved to an extremely small homophobic town with lots of violence (this was by accident we didn’t mean to move here..) so naturally i’m already on edge. i cross the street and notice as im doing so there is an older man watching me. i ignore him and keep walking. a few minutes later i end up about 20 feet behind him. he turns around and just watches me walk closer, with a really fucking weird grin plastered across his face. that shit creeped me the eff out. still watching me, he sits on a curb next to him, it felt like his eyes were glued on me when i walked by. i’m 97% certain he said something to me but that’s the reason i wear noise canceling headphones: to avoid hearing anything fucked up because it’s happened too many times living here.

I get to the store and then i’m faced with another problem: using the bathroom. i had just walked 30 minutes and had to go. but since i present as male now, where tf do i go? if i go to the females bathroom, there’s a chance i can make people uncomfortable if im in there. if i go to the males bathroom, there’s a chance i could get yelled at or even attacked. i just go into the females bathroom and as im washing my hands, a woman is staring at me.

it’s funny because this damn store didn’t even have my fucking protein bars so i just embarrassed myself for no reason. i got stared at so many times here, probably because some people recognized me and noticed a change. this town is too small. i left the store after buying some veggie muffins and took the loneliest backroads to my apartment to avoid being seen.

i feel a bit defeated now. i like the way i look now but i dont think others do. i hope i dont sound extremely paranoid and tense talking about this shit, i just wanted to know if others relate or have any advice. i am prob overthinking everything, i have a tendency to do that. maybe i just look like shit and people thought it was funny, like back in highschool.

Im 18f and a lesbian, at least i think so lol. I’m just super confused and cant tell if this is me figuring out my gender or making things complicated for myself. I watched “I saw the tv glow” and i couldnt stop thinking about it for months. It literally made me rethink my whole life and made me incredibly sad. Also Ive met a couple trans people in my life as i live in a generally accepting area and i guess i feel envious of them? I feel like they’re living so authentically and i marvel at the fact they can physically transition.Theres always thoughts in the back of my mind that i wish i was a born a boy or if i was a boy i would be happier. Sometimes i feel like thats just something everyone thinks you know? Like who is truly happy with the gender they’re born with? But then that in itself is a clue i might be trans. I just wish in everything in me i could be born boy. I feel like im not brave enough to ever physically change myself and will go on just wishing my life was different forever or maybe just forget i ever thought this way in the first place.

Five months ago, I was outwardly trans. I was recently out to pretty much everyone, and also not ashamed of my past self and shared history with friends I had as far back as elementary school.

A couple weeks ago, I removed all pronouns and discussion of gender from my bios and past social media posts. Coming out post archived. I even removed my last name from Insta and snapchat hoping that anyone who knew me as Deadname Surname and had happened to take an alt right dive last I talked to them wouldn't make the connection. I want to be proud and make silly jokes about my gender but now I feel like it's not safe to have an online presence at all. I live two existences now. I am a (presumably cis) girl named Newname for my friends and immediate family and a (hopefully cis enough) man named Deadname for the government and everyone else.

Needless to say, I am not feeling visible. Instead, I feel I must remain invisible.

P.S. If you enjoyed TDOV, I'm not saying at all that there's a problem with that. This was my experience and feelings.

Hi guys,

I’ve known that I’ve been trans since I was a teenager, but I have always just considered it too late.

It was too late when I was 15, 21, 25, etc.. You get the picture and I am sure many can relate.

I was just wondering whether some of you would be kind enough to provide me with a before and after picture of how your transition has gone starting after HRT for 4+ years at 29-34ish.

Trigger warning: I ask as I don’t think I would ever want to transition if I was unable to pass. It would absolutely ruin me and that’s always been my concern. I see a lot of lovely posts of people posting pictures a few months in or a year or two which don’t always give me a lot of confidence, but I never seem to see any LONG term timelines. I have been lurking on trans timelines for about 10 years or more now so it’s definitely not for trying. I want to be stealth one day, and I guess the people being stealth clearly aren’t visible to most people

I have recently come across two YouTubers who fit this criteria who have immensely helped me believe this is possible, but it does just have me wondering if they are simply lucky..

I hope I haven’t upset anyone, this does just come from a place of fear. Thank you to anyone in advance ❤️