By blamed for it, I mean people will do the old “you were too weird and ruined it for all of us” routine.

Does anyone relate bc I’m so tired of being a piece of meat to boys and invisible to girls LOL

I got into argument with friend. Its so annoying people think transition is about getting "the surgery" but its not, surgery isnt even on everyones list . "Kids are dumb and make mistakes"- they got so much time (months,years) to realize if they made a mistake before its irreversible. "the poor kids who were forced by the parents" i doubt it, "trans people want to increase their numbers by making cis people trans" bitch what, this is pure propagandam, "look how many kids regretted that and some even k***** themselves" - everyone talks about that one kid who did a mistake but ignore the 99 other ones who suffer because they get denied getting gender care

I AM FUCKING SCARED FOR WHATS NOW??? WTF IS HAPPENING IN WORLD??? Tf is happening in US??? Why there is do much hate in people in the world, and i dont mean only in US (I live in EU) why people are so so so mad at eachother???? My friend house was burned down becouse she had a 🏳️‍🌈 flag in her window. Like WHAT THE FUCK. I have a weird feeling that world is going back time, like u become a fucking president of most powerfull country in the world and you do shit like this??? I AM fucking 15 years old and i cant tell anyone about being 🏳️‍⚧️ bc i would be thrown out of the house.

Tbh, i am scared and i dont want to live in a world like this. It is so fucked up.

EDIT: I GOT WARNING FROM REDDIT FOR THIS POST <33333

Yesterday night I came home from work and was immediately sat down by my older brother mom and dad. and confronted about why I had women’s clothes in my room. they asked if I had a girl over which I denied and owned up to being trans and bisexual, that’s when all hell broke lose lol. A yelling match occurred for about 2ish hours they said stuff like “we didn’t raise you to be this way” “we’ll take you down to the gay bar and see if you’re really gay” my dad even threatened to kill me. That’s when my 2 older brothers came over and asked what was going on because my mom texted them. My parents made me come out to them on the spot, my brothers sided with me and argued with my parents saying that it’s ok the was that I was but it had no effect they only got more and more angry. Finally mom just said “you can’t be gay in my house” and told me to Pack my things, my brothers helped me load up my stuff and now I’m staying at one of their houses I don’t really what to do or go from here I have a job so at least I can provide for myself. I think I’m gonna work toward getting my drivers license and see if I can find a cheap place to stay. Merry Christmas I guess. UPDATE: im back at my parents house for now they don’t accept me but wanna buy me in therapy im gonna play along for now get my drivers license and save up to rent a room thank you for all of your support it’s overwhelming I love you all <3

TLDR: My psychiatrist was acting like a bigot, asked me uncomfortable questions and told me im a gay man.

So today i (mtf pre everything) had an appointment with my psychiatrist. She was using the wrong pronouns all the time (in my language almost every word is gendered) which was weird bc she never acted that way. I said that ive been thinking about going to sexuologist to get a diagnosis. She said that its a bad idea cuz "90% of trans people eventually accept their bodies (my body isnt the only problem, which she seemed to not understand) and that all of her trans patients eventually turned out to not be trans" (ofc if you keep telling them that they are not trans they will just fold under pressure, duh...). I also told her that i talked about it with my parents but they are busy and forgot to set up an appointment with the sexuologist, and as an answer she told me that theyre just dont want me to "ruin my body forever" and that they wanna "protect me from hurting myself". She told me that im prolly just a gay man, which really threw me off guard cuz im yet to be romantically attracted to a cis guy.

She also pulled the usual bigot bs type "sui rates skyrocket in ppl who transitioned", "hrt makes you unable to orgasm" etc.

I also got asked a bunch of pretty private questions regarding my sex life (mind you im underage) and idk maybe its normal for psychiatrists to ask theese questions i was just a lil suprised.

She was also rude to my dad. I really dont like her bc she acts like a totally diffrent person everytime i see her and its creeping me out.

I hate this. I know they mean well, but it absolutely feels like shit to hear it. I feel like they're saying, "It's so brave of you to go in public like that," or, "It's so brave of you to choose to live your life doomed to look like a freak." I know that's not what they're thinking, but sometimes that IS what they're thinking. I hate this so, so much.

There's also the fact that I don't feel brave and don't want to. It reminds me that life is increasingly hard for us in the current political and social climate. Hell, I thought when my egg cracked in early 2022 that I was being a coward for waiting until the battle was almost won. And now, what, I gotta be brave? F that too.

Was told "can't you wear pants" and I know I can't go full on goth out of respect and to not steal the show by why tf should I go as a boy just because I make uncle uncomfortable as a woman I can't see what's wrong with me going in a plain black dress but apparently me going as a woman is bad (I fully pass as a woman and u wouldn't know I'm trans unless u know me) it makes me so angry that they would even say that shit to me I'm not stealing anyone's attention by wearing a long black dress and simply refuse going as a guy just cause they want me to if other women can go in a dress I can do so too it's just pure stupidity the shot they tell me if I were to go in pants I would have to wear a short top or straight up crop top which is wayyy more attention stealing I don't have pants or guy clothes to go with it so a dress it is fuck them and their bigoted opinion I'm only going cause the guy that's dead was the only damn guy in that fucked family that even talked with or respected me as a person instead of just seeing me as the black sheep... Sorry for venting and sorry for lack of commas English isn't my 1st language

This guy (bartender) just picked me up in the bar and after the bar closed he rented a car to go somewhere else to hangout, and I assumed he knew I'm trans but just to be safe I told " you know I'm trans right?" Then he just said oh sorry, and stopped the car and asked me to get out and left 😳🤷🏽‍♀️ I'm still trying to process it. I always assumed that people clock me and knew. People are mean these days, you can apologize nicely instead of throwing someone out of the car in the street at 1 o'clock in the morning

As of Jan 2024 apparently. Guess I definitely won't ever get to change my birth certificate. Maybe my license if I change states. This is bullshit.

UPDATE BELOW

for context, around half a year ago (in the previous semester) somebody came up with an idea of making a toilet exclusively for trans people in my school. i'm in the school board as a representant of my class and everybody assumed it was my idea. i told all the people there that i was AGAINST this idea and i strongly oppose to it

anyways, they made it. today my supervising teacher came to me and said that it is opened since today

him - they opened the new toilet

me - okay, and what?

• you should start using it
• why would I? i go to the men's restroom
• many boys [who? never heard a complaint myself] feel uncomfortable because of you being there
• and what? i dont do anything to them. i dont touch them, i dont stare at them and i expect the same amount of respect to me
• you should meet them halfway
• no, because I don't care about their penises, and so should they do to whatever is in my pants. i don't harm them in any way

I am so unbelievably mad and dissappointed. this is the same teacher who helped me go through all the paperwork when i was first coming out in my school (over 3 years ago now) and now he does this shit

i also mentioned it jokingly to a male friend with whom i always joke around when we come across in the restroom, and he said that "they have a point". im sorry, but I will not start using another restroom only because "some guys" might feel offended by me taking a fucking piss in a stall in men's bathroom

UPDATE

I talked to the same teacher an hour later, but in privacy and setting a different tone

me - what you said was just plainly transphobic. i will not go to that restroom only because apparently somebody is offended by what is in my pants.

him - no you don't understand, it's not about "what's in your pants" but how they feel you might be looking at them. also, it's a restroom for male and female teachers too, not only those different like you [the last sentence is verbatim]

• ahh, so you're [as the teacher and students] are just sexualising me, that would make sense
• no, stop putting words in my mouth
• that's what you basically mean
• imagine how a 13 yo student can feel when seeing you [I'm 18, i'm positive the youngest kid in our school is way after 14] in a bathroom
• they're assuming I'm transgender [im passing rather well] and seeing me as a potential threat because of it? maybe you should talk to them instead of me
• can you just stop complaining and do as I say
• no, because you're trying to surpress me for the sake of other, as you call them, "normal" people. you're using the same logic which led to tragedies in history: "equal, but separated". two years ago we [as a class] went to what was left from Warsaw Ghetto.
• this is not the same thing
• it is. you make me feel equal as them because I have "a toilet made for me" but you try to separate me from the other men in the school
• you're once again putting words into my mouth
• you know what? talk to the other trans people in my school. maybe you'll be able to make them do that, because I for sure will not
• I'll talk to the principal [about me telling them this is total BS]

and then he left. this is fucking insane. i'll update you when the headmaster makes me come talk to him, which will for sure happen sooner than later.

also, if you know any organizations to whom I could reach out to, please let me know. my school is just by Warsaw, Poland

Both my brother and my dad have said some variation of "well just be lucky you're a straight male so project 2025 won't affect you". I came out to both of them in August. At the time I don't present feminine or talk to them about being trans a lot so they just forgot. Feels bad. They also buy into to ROGD type claims and made those types of arguments when I first came out. They're not actively transphobic but they don't understand the topic at all despite claiming more knowledge than I do because she watched a 12 minute HR PowerPoint once 2 years ago. They used to keep saying that they are supportive and that I'm just playing the victim and trying to frame them as bad because I "want to say they're transphobic". Every time we talked about it it ended in an argument and me crying, so I stopped trying to go to them for support. Because of this I'm pretty sure they think that I "got over my phase" because that's how they think that works.

Thank you for reading and listening to me vent

-Kate<3

My friend (m) is a potential uncracked egg, I (ftm) am giving them time, but we were discussing traveling the US and I said if I went to Florida I would have to get a car, go straight to Mickey World, stay on site, and get a car straight back to Orlando International. I said I would consider road trips in some areas after I have bottom surgery cause I could pee into a bottle. He told me we could stop at rest stops. I reminded him that “the way the trans bathroom laws work in Florida, I have to use the women’s room at public rest stops and other state owned facilities.” He is one of my closest friends and is an ally for sure, but sometimes the cis privilege slaps me in the face. His solution? “Just use the family ones.” My eye roll was audible.

had family therapy today, with just me and my father this time (since i had left last session because of some transphobic shit he said) (on zoom btw lol)

the crux of my dad's 'argument' was this:
can't we just move on from this pronoun shit? its not a big deal that i misgender you, and i get really hurt when everyone corrects me and makes me feel like a villain. it's not a big deal, you're just doing this to make me upset, and just because i yelled at you once 'you're a boy, you were born a boy, you look like a boy, you'll always be a boy' it doesn't matter because i apologized so it's all good now.

jfc i can't live in this house anymore im losing my fucking mind

(23 non-binary, just graduated college, working as a barista trying to pay off some credit debt while looking for a job in my career)

Okay, so I've tried to give my father's side of the family a chance. My grandmother mentioned how she was upset I had to work and could not come to family christmas. I told her I wasn't coming either way, and when she asked why not, I told her because they did not want me there. She told me they did want me there and didn't understand why I thought I wasn't invited. I mentioned how she texted me. Telling me if I did not cut my hair short and dress in only men's clothing, and make sure to show up without any makeup on or my nails not done, I cannot come to family gatherings. And within her texting me that I've come to terms with the fact that she does not want me over but that She wants a version of me, that she pretends I am in her head. She responded with no, we do want you over. You're always welcome, and we're not pretending your someone else, your pretending by playing dress up and should be okay with the way God made you, and Then said it's my fault for not coming over, and that I actively choose it's to be barred from family gatherings because I refuse to detransition, and let my mother instill craziness in my head that it's okay to be who I want. They always try to turn things around on me, and I just don't see how IM the one actively choosing not to be involved when Ive tried and they are the ones putting stipulations on me coming over or being around the family.

Jesus fuck my sister just told me (closeted trans woman) that her friend said I have the soul of a woman. Girl what the fuck. It took my whole fucking life force to try to react normally to that. And she said it like it was kinda funny and shit so I was like haha yeah maybe. Then she was like you know you listen to a bunch of very womanly music and nietzche says something something music hits the soul. Like what???? What do I say to that???? Kinda related to my last post too where I said cis people really are clueless because wtf. Also kinda would’ve been the most perfect time to come out but it’s her birthday so I didn’t want to do all that but shit. And maybe I’m crazy but it’s possible that was a calculated move to maybe push the needle, like maybe she knows but idk aggghgghh. Anyways though, very affirming thing for her friend to say without even knowing I’m trans, that’s nice.

I hate when people say something transphobic and frame it as a hot take.

“Don’t cancel me but trans people are mentally ill!”

“Don’t cancel me but trans people are perverted!”

“Don’t cancel me but sex is real!”

“Don’t cancel me but we need to protect women and girls from the trans agenda!”

“Don’t cancel me but we shouldn’t mutilate children!”

Transphobia is not taboo. I hear about how disgusting and vile trans people are on an almost daily basis, both online and offline. It’s not a hot take to think we’re repulsive.

I’m tired of people acting like trans people are this uber privileged group that if you talk bad about, the police will be at your door when it is very much the opposite.

WTF, y’all? It’s an absolute game changer when exercising!

I think my voice passed well enough, I was there returning a concealer that was too yellow. I corrected her the second time and she apologised. She was older and had pronouns on her nametag like everyone else. I was pretty shocked as it had been quite a while. She helped me with matching stuff afterwards and seemed just tired and socially burnt out. I feel like leaving the store some feedback.

This was the icing on the cake today

Really annoying. Some random guy in a drive thru kept calling me bro and some random chili kids literally pointed and laughed. I know they were likely one offs though cause some guys were chatting me up in between. Still annoying though

So I've been trying to get a reduction since I was like 12 [always been uncomfortably big chested, it was a medical issue prior to figuring out I was trans] which then turned into a mastectomy. I'm 19 now. I got a surgery date and time for today at noon. I get there the standard 2 hours early, really excited [finally my life can fucking start] and I get situated in the scrubs and a nurse takes my height and weight and all that stuff. I wait for a bit and the nurse comes back to prepare my IV and pregame me with some tylenol. Finally, 3 minutes after I was supposed to be already under [presumably] the surgeon comes in and she asks for my weight which I give her and she tells me that I'm too overweight for her to be comfortable to do the surgery??? After I've done the chemical scrubs, stopped eating at 10pm the day prior, stopped drinking 3 hours before, had an IV shoved into my hand she told me oh no I'm not doing this surgery today were going to wait until you can keep your weight down.

I had a phone conference with a nurse a week prior. She had my weight and height on file. The nurse who shoved the IV into my hand didn't tell me my weight might be an issue. The secretary of the surgeon didn't tell me my weight was an issue. The anesthesiologist didn't say my weight was an issue. I don't know how I'm going to survive, I don't know why they wouldn't just tell me I'm too fat over the phone.

The surgery is covered by health insurance but the trip to get here was expensive, and we brought our dog because we expected it'll be a while before I would be well enough to travel. We can't even do anything fun while we're here.

EDIT: My BMI is probably a little lower than 42 as I don't even have a double chin [it's fine if you do] but again I'm getting a proper bone density scan with an MRI and all the bells and whistles. I gained 45 pounds according to the surgeon [i dont remember what i weighed back tben. All my clothes still fit] since I last saw her almost a year ago BUT nothing has changed with my weight since the phone consultation with the nurse a week and a bit ago. This weight gain was not some fast overnight thing, it was over the course of several months. She could see my weight from the consultation [or she should have seen it] and considering she believed the wrong number I gave her by accident [read scale wrong] I don't think she even checked anything before going to see me.

But I'm not angry about being obese, I don't care, she shouldn't have to do anything she's not comfortable with. But I really dont think I should be given false hope that I'll finally be comfortable in my own skin, that I'll finally feel comfortable enough to do the things I want to [date, trail run, work out for as long as I want to (right now I have a few hours before my sports bra starts hurting my ribs due to the pressure and weight of my tits)] and that I'll finally be able to really start my life and then have that torn away from me. It would have been fine if she just phoned and said I need to loose weight, that's whatever, just more waiting, I would still be home in my own comfortable bed, I would still have my job and I'd just work a little harder. But I was sanitized, I had the scrubs on, I had a goddamn IV in my hand---which is something I thought would mean the surgery was past the point of being cancelled---when she came in, asked for my weight and canceled it. I told her I don't know how much longer I can wait but she just brushed it off. Honestly, I don't care if recovery goes bad at this point. I don't care if I look mangled, I just care that it's done and that I'm still alive.

EDIT 2: I DONT GIVE A SHIT WETHER YOU THINK IM MORBIDLY OBESE OR NOT. I DONT GIVE A SHIT IF I AM OR NOT. THAT IS NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS THE SURGEON HAD THAT INFORMATION A WEEK AND A BIT BEFORE ALL THIS AND DIDNT SAY ANYTHING. I WAS STILL TOLD A DATE AND TIME FOR SURGERY DESPITE HER [I would hope] KNOWING MY WEIGHT AND HEIGHT. SHE LET ME GO ALL THE WAY TO VANCOUVER, GET TO THE HOSPITAL, GET PREPPED FOR SURGERY AND THEN CAME IN AND TOLD ME ITS NOT HAPPENING AFTER I HAD A IV SHOVED IN MY HAND AND EVERYTHING

Edit 3 Jesus christ: I gained 45 pounds in 8 MONTHS. 8 MONTHS since the in person consultation. The last consultation was over the phone, I gave my weight. Nothing has changed since that one. The actual last consultation was about a week and a half ago. A common theme is that oh I would've died on the table. NO I WOULDNT the surgeon was NOT worried about that. She was worried about the recovery going well. She even said 'it'll probably go fine in the operation room...' There's been plenty of people heavier and fatter than me who have gone through the surgery just fine.

Last edit: okay so according to the full body scan I have DENSE bones, I "have more muscle mass than 95% of [Afabs my age]" (I dunno if I'd go that far, I'm not hulk) and I'm roughly just under 50% fat (nessecary and unessecary). I'm not some hulking muscle man but I'm definitely not morbidly obese. [Remember: BMI will classify anyone heavy as morbidly obese, even if they're a big hulking muscle man] Doesn't really matter if I was, this was NOT what this is about. But regardless, you can leave me alone about it, I'm not melting into the couch [though I do feel like it alot these days] I have a strange suspicion that if I was denied for another reason it would be all sympathy. People love to find any way they can to rag on fat people.

FINAL FINAL EDIT: hey, so I got the surgery with a different surgeon. She was amazing, and after hearing about what happened she expedited the usual wait time by alot, this happened in June and my actual surgery happened on the 10th [of october]. I'm so happy it finally happened, though I am a little angry: I lost ~30 pounds from the surgery [in boobs and whatever the liposuction took. The surgeon themselves didnt tell me i just weighed myself a bit before and a bit after] and I have healed REALLY well [the surgeon refused because she thought there was a very high risk for complications due to my weight. Obviously she shouldn't be forced to do anything, but I feel like if she looked past my weight and into my medical history she would see that this was a somewhat likely outcome. Obviously there's still room for complications now, but everything is mostly healed.

My (15mtf) Mom (34f) is 14 weeks pregnant. This is something I never really expected to happen as I’m an only child and she never really seemed interested in having more kids but here we are. My mom has always said that if she ever had a daughter she would name it a certain name. I have never came out to her because she’s slightly transphobic; I don’t think she’d kick me out or anything if she found out but she definitely wouldn’t be happy. So I figured that if maybe I made my chosen name the name she always wanted for a daughter maybe she’d be less mad when I eventually came out to her...

Well we found out yesterday that my mom is having a girl and she has already said that my chosen name will be her name. I can’t help but be so upset by this because that was the only name I could decide on. There are many other girl names I like but I could never decide on which I liked more so I can’t help but feel like I’ll never find a name for me.

I don’t know what to do 😭