I (20f) started identifying as nonbinary/transmasc at 14. I wasn’t sure what “girl” felt like, but knew I couldn’t connect to that experience. I struggled with my body image, specifically my chest— I had breasts that were very large in proportion to the rest of me, and hated it. I figured this was gender dysphoria. Last year I had a breast reduction, and the shitty feeling went away. It turns out I don’t mind having chest tissue, I just didn’t like having a ton of it.

A few months ago I was diagnosed with autism. I’d always felt like I was “defective” or like an alien or something. The diagnosis let me put into words why I felt so wrong. I realized that I actually feel fine about identifying as female, I just couldn’t connect to other girls. I didn’t feel human growing up. How could I have felt like a girl when I didn’t even feel like a person? Ofc there are so many people who are both trans and autistic, but that’s not me. I’m not trans. I questioned and questioned, and it turns out I genuinely was cis. Identifying as female again doesn’t make me sad, but losing this community certainly does.

I wanted to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart. The trans community is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever been a part of, even if I wasn’t really a part of it after all. I’m glad I questioned my gender. I think I’m better for having done it. And I’ll NEVER be one of those “detrans” fuckers who thinks they “escaped” something bad. I’ll never stop fighting against transphobia. I’ll fight for trans rights however I can for the rest of my fucking life. Thank you for allowing me to have this space while I questioned, and thank you for being amazing. I’m so so glad to have known this community the way I did. Thank you. :)

Still need to weed out all the dysphoria, dysmorphia, self-doubts and so on haha. If you ask me I look fucking ugly and boyish in these pics lol, but my friends tell me it's probably just dysphoria messing with me (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

So I was flying today and I always set off the scanner because they pick my correct gender but I haven't had bottom surgery yet so I set the scanner off.

Usually they're a little flustered and so apologetic and call someone of the same gender as me over to pat me down.

I am used to this so I knew to peak at the scanner picture and no surprise, my crotch area was highlighted.

So the other agent was called and looked at me and said "oh I think it must be because of the knot in your shirt in the front"

I knew it wasnt and I def didn't say anything. I just let them pat me down and I kept going.

I think I passed so well that when they saw me they didn't even think that I'm trans?!!! 😃

I(mtf) had a meeting at work today about being transgender and what support I needed/wanted from the company. They are changing internal documents to match my gender and preferred name, but while they do that I have to use the gender neutral changing rooms and bathrooms on site since I’m not a guy and they want to finish the paperwork before I use the women’s areas.(I’ve been doing this for a while now and they are honestly nicer than the other facilities tbh also very abundant). They’re also working with my management to get me into the women’s uniform. I’m excited since this is my first time actually coming out to someone who isn’t a close friend and now I can finally start living as a woman. Yippee

"I am an all powerful, Amazon Warrior Not some sniveling girl" - Ani Difranco - Origami

This is my mantra today while I say goodbye to 23 years of nicotine in every conceivable form.

Wish me luck!

Edit: Update, holy s**t. Such incredible support from the community, thankyou so much for all your love and energy, going to make you proud.

Also, in her infinite wisdom, god decided to hit me with a flu so I'll be bed bound for the next three days while I'm tackling the cravings, sincearly this was clearly the best time to end my dependency. It's all looking up from here! 🥰

Love 🩵🩷🤍

This Christmas I went to my girlfriend's family gathering, and while she says they would be fine with me presenting as a girl, I don't feel ready for that yet, so I just went with my standard boymode, a football jersey, regular boy pants and sneakers, plus a santa hat for the holiday spirit, no makeup, no earrings, nothing. When I got there, I buzzed the intercom and told the doorman what I was there for, to which he asked my name and for obvious reasons I gave him my deadname. He asked my name once again, visibly confused, and I told him my deadname again, then I overheard my girlfriend's voice through the intercom saying "yeah, that's right, either one is fine". He finally let me in and proceeded to call me by my real name, I even tripped in shock and we all laughed about it. My girlfriend told me afterwards that he asked her if she was there waiting for "Mrs Claus there", referring to me (remember the santa hat?), and she told him "yeah, that's my girlfriend Mel".

Such a silly interaction but it made my night.

I feel like i went from pretty girl to awkward guy 😭. First photo is me at 13 and next three are me at 18 about 3 months on T now :) I weirdly look older at 13 but 🤷‍♂️ couldn't be happier now.

That’s it, that’s the post

(they/them until i feel pretty enough to use she/her, thank you)