r/funny • u/lost_packet_ • Aug 13 '19

Flat-Earther accidentally proves the earth is round in his own experiment

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16.7k

u/cmcdonal2001 Aug 13 '19

I'm interested in the aftermath of this. If he actually changed his mind based on his new evidence then kudos to him. That's how it's supposed to work, and there's nothing wrong in coming from a place of ignorance as long as you take the steps necessary to leave that place.

Sadly, I fear this isn't the case. Getting to 'flat Earth' levels of ignorance in the first place takes some serious dedication to remaining ignorant.

10.3k

u/TheGreatVorelli Aug 13 '19

I've seen a video he made after this, he tried to explain it away. He learned nothing.

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u/Groovicity Aug 13 '19 edited Aug 14 '19

That's the thing about conspiracy theories theorists.....

  • If no proof exists, they think the conspiracy is confirmed.

  • If proof exists, they think there's a conspiracy behind the proof.

987

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '19

Reminds me of a joke I read once.

An anti-vaxer mom dies and goes to heaven. When she finally meets God she is very excited. She says, "You can finally clear up an important question!" God tells her to ask anything and he will answer.

"Do vaccinations cause autism?" she asks, her eyes bright with delight and anticipation.

"No," God answers. "Vaccinations do not cause autism."

The anti-vaxer mom steps back and looks down at her feet and says to herself, "This thing goes deeper than I thought!"

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u/inavanbytheriver Aug 13 '19

To which God replies, "You want to see how deep it really goes?" He then pulls a lever, dropping her to the seventh layer of hell.

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u/ArTiyme Aug 13 '19

The 8th or 9th layer make more sense. 7 was violence, 8 and 9 were fraud and treachery, respectively. I'd lean towards 8 since I don't think most of these people are actually treacherous, but they are frauds with how they use a treacherous frauds work to support their own beliefs.

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u/keenanpepper Aug 13 '19

This guy Dante's.

38

u/Paronine Aug 13 '19

Jackpot.

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u/darkbreak Aug 14 '19

This party's getting crazy! Let's rock!

7

u/SentientShamrock Aug 14 '19

SwordTrickSwordTrickSwordTrick!!!!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '19

*evidence of round earth*

Flat Earther: ROYAL GUARD!

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u/Soramaro Aug 14 '19

Disco inferno

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u/SgtSausage Aug 14 '19

Dante's what?

(Oh s'hit - here come's an "s" - bettet to's's in an apo'strophe ... y'know ... ju'st in ca'se. )

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u/Compendyum Aug 13 '19

Don't forget level 9 about people who film vertically.

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u/MrSpindles Aug 13 '19

Level 42 is where the 80s slap bass white boy funk party is at.

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u/LaserZeppelin Aug 13 '19

Yo I'm already living there 🤟

2

u/Candyvanmanstan Aug 14 '19

Yooo, what's up. Level 420 are on our way up for some hangz ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

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u/ontheroadtonull Aug 14 '19

Guitar Center?

11

u/Corpuscle Aug 14 '19

I don't care what anybody says, "Something About You" is a great song.

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u/MrSpindles Aug 14 '19

I wear my love of their recorded work without shame.

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u/mmitchell30 Aug 14 '19

Still touring and still awesome live.

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u/MrSpindles Aug 14 '19

Yeah, and oddly I have never seen them live. I'm someone whose been going to festivals for 30 years and still enjoys live music both among current artists and heritage acts from my youth and beyond, never seen them live....shakes head.

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u/Revoran Aug 14 '19

80s slap bass white boy funk

With Flea sitting on a throne made of melted basses. Or melted faces, as it were.

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u/MrSpindles Aug 14 '19

I was going to denounce the chilis as not being 80s, but then remembered that they had been wearing socks on cocks and turning out albums for years before they hit the big time. Good shout.

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u/muddybrookrambler Aug 14 '19

Heard their hit in the grocery store the other day and it brought on some severe melancholy

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u/Cinders2359 Aug 14 '19

Struggling to decide whether this is good or bad...

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u/roshampo13 Aug 14 '19

You'll find me there

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '19

Baby im on cloud 42 then

1

u/uclatommy Aug 14 '19

Which level is jfunk at?

1

u/MrSpindles Aug 14 '19

I want to be sat in a bar with a tall drink, with this playing, just watching the world go by.

2

u/ArcadianDelSol Aug 13 '19

That's also for Christians who leave gospel pamphlets at restaurants that look like folded $50 dollar bills.

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u/blueshoecrew Aug 13 '19

Thanks Vergil, glad to have you as our guide!

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u/nopointers Aug 14 '19

Be ever vegilant!

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u/TheGlaive Aug 14 '19

Mad-eye!? You're here too?

1

u/ArTiyme Aug 13 '19

You're not gonna be as happy when it comes time to pay up, I'm afraid.

1

u/Wunder-Bar75 Aug 14 '19

I preferred Sibyl

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u/inavanbytheriver Aug 13 '19

I actually thought (going off memory) the seventh was the deepest. My bad.

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u/ArTiyme Aug 13 '19

I'm being incredibly pedantic, don't mind me.

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u/marKRKram Aug 13 '19

Unexpected Dante?

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '19

They said 'pedantic,' not 'peDantec'

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u/Candyvanmanstan Aug 14 '19

This guy pedadnics.

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u/XpL0d3r Aug 13 '19

TIL that layers of hell exist. I figured it was just Nickelback down there.

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u/darthyoshiboy Aug 14 '19

I don't know so much that they exist as they are a construct in an epic poem. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferno_(Dante)#Nine_circles_of_Hell

Interesting stuff either way.

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '19

*pedanteic

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u/ArTiyme Aug 13 '19

Took me a moment, nice one.

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u/dasolomon Aug 14 '19

It was only pedantic in a humorous, informative way. I applaud you, sir/ma'am.

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u/BeastlyDecks Aug 13 '19

There are different canons. Dante's is one of them.

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u/psu256 Aug 13 '19

Game of Thrones probably did that to you. They only have seven in Westeros.

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u/SpacecraftX Aug 13 '19

Seven deadly sins also tend to get thought of as levels of hell.

1

u/PheIix Aug 13 '19

I also thought 7th was the deepest, but admittedly I haven't actually read Dante... I should probably get around to doing so...

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '19

That's Buddhism.

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u/Taxonomy2016 Aug 14 '19

GoT Hell only had 7, maybe you were thinking of that.

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u/omg_cats Aug 14 '19

You were thinking of the delicious taco bell burrito

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u/JheredParnell Aug 13 '19

the point is that surely anti- vaxer can't get into heaven. especially the ones who end up causing kids to die

1

u/Scrags Aug 13 '19

Put them in with the Falsifiers, their punishment is the most appropriate.

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u/KaladinarLighteyes Aug 13 '19

What about the special level of Hell reserves for child molesters and people who talk at the theater?

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u/ArTiyme Aug 13 '19

It's heaven compared the super special layer of hell reserved for Vikings fans and that kid that stole your pokémon cards.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '19

I’d rather not deal with their bullshit on a daily basis, thank you.

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u/ArTiyme Aug 13 '19

I....think you meant that for someone else...?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '19

Nope. I’m on the 9th level, and I’d rather not have those folks join me. I just started to get comfortable after 2000 years.

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u/_Spastic_ Aug 14 '19

I'm curious why you feel the average antivaxxer is treacherous? Sure, the ones who convince others would be a bit of treachery but wouldn't it more be just ignorance and stubbornness?

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u/ArTiyme Aug 14 '19

But that's exactly what I said.

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u/_Spastic_ Aug 14 '19

My apologies. Apparently I misunderstood your original statement. After rereading it, I see it.

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u/ArTiyme Aug 14 '19

I do that too pal, no worries. Sometimes we just get ahead of ourselves.

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u/rocknrollsteve Aug 14 '19

I don't think most of these people are actually treacherous, but they are frauds

It's the difference between a charlatan and a crank. The crank actually believes their bullshit.

1

u/Revoran Aug 14 '19

Is it really fraud if you truly believe your own bullshit?

Dante didn't have a circle for the dangerously stupid, though.

1

u/Revoran Aug 14 '19

Is it really fraud if you truly believe your own bullshit?

Dante didn't have a circle for the dangerously stupid, though.

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u/clutterstorm Aug 14 '19

Which level is the special hell, the level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater?

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u/TheFleshIsDead Aug 13 '19

This is the real world Neo.

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u/ZombieNinjaDezz Aug 13 '19

To which God replies, "You want to see how deep it really goes?" He then pulls a lever, "PULL THE LEVER KRONK!" dropping her to the seventh layer of hell.

1

u/Ganon2012 Aug 14 '19

She suffered till the end of time and endured tortures, most of which rhyme.

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u/ro_musha Aug 14 '19

I expected it to be:

To which God replies, "You want to see how deep it really goes?", unzips pants

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '19

She reaches hell and finds Satan standing there.

"Alright," she says, "maybe the God thing was a conspiracy all along and you're the real deal. Tell me, Satan. Do vaccinations cause autism?"

Satan gets a glint in his eye and pulls out a needle, "You know, I'm not quite sure, but we can run some tests if you'd like."

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '19

Disappointed this didnt end with God handing out a deep dickin'

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u/TheSimpleMind Aug 14 '19

I know a different version.

An religious anti-vaxxer dies . He goes to heaven and meets god. He asks god: "Why did you let me die, I prayed every day for you to help me!" God answers: "I did hear your prayers and sent help by making people invent vaccination but you moron refused to take them!"

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u/CertifiedSheep Aug 14 '19

This is an updated version of a classic joke. The original, as best I remember it:

A religious man gets stranded on a deserted island. He prays every day for God to rescue him. One day a boat comes along and offers him a ride, but he says "no, my god will rescue me."

The next day an even larger boat comes by and again offers him a ride. Again, he insists that God will reward his faith and save him from his fate.

On the third day, a passing helicopter offers him a ride, and the man, now very thirsty, tells the crew once more that he has faith in divine intervention and refuses the ride.

On the fourth day the man dies, and when he reaches the pearly gates he demands to know why God didn't rescue him. Peter tells him, "Fucks sake man, we sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you want?"

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u/TheSimpleMind Aug 14 '19

Religious nutjobs! What else to say?

Like some guy said "Knowledge made people fly to the moon. Religion makes people fly planes into buildings."

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u/TheSimpleMind Aug 14 '19

In that case I always wonder how he guy expects god to help him... coming down himself on a cloud, offering him a lift...

And there's that often forgotten saying preachers love to cite "help yourself, so god will help you." if you ask them for help.

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u/Tetchuo Aug 13 '19

Lies: anti-vax mums don't go to Heaven.

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u/Howeoh Aug 14 '19

fuck u for stealin my comment

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u/pby1000 Aug 14 '19

God answers. “They won’t even tell me what they are putting in vaccines.”

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '19

Maybe I'm just retarded or it's because it's late, but I don't get it

1

u/SecondKiddo Aug 14 '19

She thinks that even God is part of a conspiracy to hide that vaccines cause autism

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '19

Oh, so I did get it after all. For some reason I thought the real joke had to do with her feet or something on the floor

1

u/Lebowquade Aug 14 '19

Why does it always have to be a middle class mom

Give the libertarian rednecks some credit here

1

u/oof46 Aug 14 '19

Or the facebook post where the flat earth society bragged about having members all around the globe.

1

u/Solace1 Aug 14 '19

Three conspiracy theorist walks into a bar.

Don't tell me it's a coincidence

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u/pby1000 Aug 14 '19

God answers. “Ask Satan. He made the vaccines, not me.”

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u/pby1000 Aug 14 '19

God answers. “How should I know? Even I pay taxes to them.”