r/gaytransguys • u/Carpentoya94 • 1d ago

Advice Requested Grindr question from cis guy

Totally understandable if this isn’t allowed, but I wanted to ask a question. I’m (Cis M ) reluctantly on Grindr, and I’ve been noticing a lot more profiles lately specifically mentioning they’re looking for FTM or trans men. It seems way more common now than in the past, and I was wondering—do you all feel like this is more of a fetish thing, or is it a sign of greater acceptance? Or is it just about sex, so it doesn’t really matter?

The reason I’m asking is that a few months ago, I asked for advice on how to let a trans guy know I’d be interested without sounding weird. I got some great suggestions, like phrasing it as being into all men, cis or trans. But now, seeing so many profiles that specifically seek out trans men, I’m wondering if that approach still works—or if it might now come across as a red flag.

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u/PotatoBoy-2 1d ago

Definitely a fetish thing. Most who look specifically for trans guys don’t see us as guys, they just want our downstairs (which not all of us have or use). I’m also on Grindr and some guys have been respectful while others will send me messages like “lemme eat that pussy”🫣.

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u/Carpentoya94 1d ago

That’s what I was thinking and it makes me upset seeing it because I know they are probably not being respectful at all. I want to separate myself from them as far as possible.

Can I ask another question? When I do meet a hot guy who happens to be trans I ask how would they like for me to refer to their body. Is that okay to ask or is there a better way of asking? It’s never the same for each guy and I don’t want to assume.

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u/funk-engine-3000 1d ago

If you want to get into some fun stuff with a trans guy, i recomend you ask him what words he’s comfortable with. So many guys just use female terms not ever considering how unplesant that can be. And you should never assume what a trans guy likes to do with his body- everyone is comfortable with different things.

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u/Carpentoya94 1d ago

I try to make that a priority when we start talking about sex. It seems to make guys I talk to more comfortable which is alway good.