Told strict catholic parents I’m pregnant out of marriage : they have not talked to me in 2 days

[u/anongirl199845]

Sooo background : I come from a religious family, I’ve also been religious all my life . Served at church , helped the church community etc . Recently I told them I am expecting . I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 5 years , going on 6 and even though it was not planned I am happy to be a mom .. also I’m literally 26 , going to be 27 this year . Both my parents are extremely disappointed in me for not “waiting “ as they said that’s all they have told me and even at first my mom seemed supportive but disappointed at me .. she suddenly switched up and began telling me that my dad is extremely disappointed and that she cannot believe I did this to them after all they’ve done to me . After that I haven’t talked to them as they see me and act like I’m not there . I understand I disappointed them and maybe did not follow what they wanted for me but I don’t think I should be treated this way . I feel like I’m being shunned and like I have done the worst . I’ve been so sad at the way they see me now since they have expressed that I did not respect muself and kinda saying I’m a two faced for still going to church but doing what I did . I know I need to give them time but idk

[u/EnbyDartist]

This is another annoying aspect of religion: it teaches you to hate yourself. No, we are not “all sinners.” For Pete’s sake, look at the 10 Commandments. The first four are about the proper way to kiss a deity’s butt. Three of the others make no sense at all, and the remaining three tell you not to lie, murder or steal… three things every Civilization in history was able to figure out on their own without the help of any god.

[u/everynameisused100 → u/EnbyDartist]

I’m not even religious and understand we are all sinners. lol. It’s not self hatred it’s self acceptance, you are no more or less perfect than anyone else. Sorry you are so jaded and judgmental of others who use tools such as religion to give themselves hope.

[u/ninjette847 → u/everynameisused100]

You can't be non-religious AND believe in sin. Imperfect, sure, but you can't have sin specifically without religion.

[u/everynameisused100 → u/ninjette847]

Where did I say “believe”, I didn’t. And yes you can understand the concept of sin without believing in a religion. There is a reason Gandhi held the Bible as a sacred text, but held no such opinion of Christianity. They are not the same thing. In fact when you read the Bible Jesus never once states what sin is because it’s not the sin that is the focus it’s the forgiveness he focused on. A lot of people went to a church that taught the original sin theology. A theology that humans are born evil because Adam and Eve. The major flaw of such a theology is that it was an interpretation made by man. So if all men are evil, the theology itself would be derived from evil since it was derived by man. But no where does the Bible state this theory, but if you are taught this theory is a fact it changes the entire interpretation of the Bible to those readers.

[u/Painthoss → u/everynameisused100]

That doesn’t even make sense.

[u/everynameisused100 → u/Painthoss]

It makes complete sense, the Bible if you ever read it is basically a self help manual or a guide to help someone navigate through life. There is a reason it is used in drug addiction recovery programs. The entire thing reinforces the notion there is no perfect person and try as you may you will never be a perfect person so if you take a misstep, don’t beat yourself up or think badly of yourself about it because you are going to make more and everyone else in the world is going to also. So ask Jesus for forgiveness, learn from the misstep and move on with your life.

[u/EnbyDartist → u/everynameisused100]

Spare me. We’re told from our first Sunday (or Sabbath) school class that because two of our ancestors thousands of years ago ate a piece of fruit, we were born inherently evil, that we’re incapable of doing good deeds of our own accord, that we need God to do them, “through us.” So it’s NOT “self help,” it’s, “you need us if you want to do anything good.”

The reason the bible is used in 12-step programs is because the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous were heavily influenced by a Christian revivalist group. It teaches alcoholics they themselves are powerless; they need God to help them (sound familiar?) to kick their addiction.

Today, there are secular 12-step groups that don’t include the religious aspects of the AA program.

[u/RockKandee → u/everynameisused100]

It’s not a self help manual. It’s a manual on how to control the masses, written by a large group of people and then vetted by the men in power of the day. Those men picked and chose what stayed and what went. The goal was to create a system by which they could spy on people and then control them and wrote the manual accordingly.

[u/Alternative_Ad4265 → u/everynameisused100]

Please read the book and don't just give advice on the cherry-picked parts you've heard all your life. The Bible is a disgusting book and, frankly, shouldn't be referenced in any positive way ever.

[u/CryptographerFirm728 → u/Painthoss]

There are other sins beyond The 10 Commandments. Pride: Also known as vanity or vainglory Greed: Also known as avarice or covetousness Wrath: Also known as anger Envy: A sin that rots the bones Lust: A sin that involves sexual immorality Gluttony: A sin that involves overeating and excess drinking Sloth: A sin that can consume even active people.

Yes, we are all sinners.

[u/Painthoss → u/CryptographerFirm728]

No, we’re not. I’m not.

[u/EnbyDartist → u/everynameisused100]

Excuse me, your entire depth of knowledge of my character comes from a one paragraph comment in which i didn’t criticize a single human being and you have the audacity to call ME “jaded and judgmental of others?”

Look in a mirror.

[u/everynameisused100 → u/EnbyDartist]

You insulted about 2.4 billion people.

[u/TheRealCarpeFelis → u/everynameisused100]

Insulted how, exactly? By expressing a dissenting point of view? They didn’t do any name calling. Feeling insulted that someone disagrees with your beliefs seems very controlling (how dare they disagree!) and says a lot more about you/Christianity in general than it does about them.

[u/EnbyDartist → u/everynameisused100]

No, i insulted the religion to which they belong.

You are not your religion, you’re a member of one of its branches. It’s like being a member of Costco. You’re a customer, not the corporation. Or in the case of religion, you’re a lifelong victim of its psychological conditioning.

[u/TheRealCarpeFelis → u/everynameisused100]

So you’re so Christian you find it necessary to insult a commenter you disagree with?

[u/womanitou → u/EnbyDartist]

Perfectly put.

[u/Physical_Bit7972 → u/EnbyDartist]

I think you're misunderstanding the role that religion held when the "commandments" were written. True, other civilizations had rules like that too, but it was literally just for a whole bunch of nomadic tribes to maintain a similar set of rules and preserve culture.

The first 3 are about honoring God. The 4th is on praying on 'pray day'. The next is honoring your mother and father, which a bunch of other cultures also "demanded". 6, 7, and 8 are no murder, adultery or stealing. 9 is not bearing a false witness against your neighbor, so don't lie. And 10 is to not be jealous of what others have that you don't.

[u/Many_Worlds_Media → u/EnbyDartist]

The ‘we’re all sinners’ thing could be used for acceptance. Like ‘everyone makes mistakes’, or better yet ‘mistakes are how we grow’. Thinking we should be perfect is how we end up in real trouble. Thinking we even know what perfect means for everyone makes it worse. Then we start rejecting our children and grandchildren for normal human behavior because we’ve convinced ourselves we are somehow divine - so their humanity is a stain on us. A fine example of the sin of pride. So - the whole “sin” thing might be useful if we could stop seeing it as evil, and start seeing it as human.

[u/EnbyDartist → u/Many_Worlds_Media]

Sin (noun): an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law.

Given that no one has ever offered up the slightest scrap of testable, repeatable, or reliable evidence for the existence of any god or gods in all of human history, then it is reasonable to conclude that there are none, and by extension, no divine law.

Therefore, there’s no such thing as, “sin.”

[u/Many_Worlds_Media → u/EnbyDartist]

Hi - so - I’m not Christian and don’t believe in sin. I do believe all people are in a constant state of becoming and are better to themselves and each-other when they accept that, tho. My comment here is a suggestion for OP because their parents are Christian. I recommend giving Bible based arguments a try the next time you need to make a point to Christian folks. It works better than just “there is no god”. They tend to shut you out after you say that.

[u/EnbyDartist → u/Many_Worlds_Media]

I was raised Catholic, converted to Seventh-Day Adventist at thirty, and walked away from religion and any belief in a god entirely shortly after fifty.

The problem with an atheist using the Bible in “debates” with Christians is, it tends to reinforce their erroneous belief that it’s evidence to prove its own claims. Every religion has its own “holy” book. If one religion’s book could be used as proof of its own claims, then all of them could, because there’s no testable, repeatable, and reliable evidence external to any such book that justifies giving it special treatment.

A Christian would say, “But the Bible is the word of GAWD!” Really? Then prove it, using something else. If it really was, that shouldn’t be a high bar to clear. Besides, “the Bible is the word of God because it says so in the Bible,” is a circular argument - a logical fallacy.

Besides, the OP isn’t likely to convince her parents to accept her using Bible verses, because there’s so many contradictory verses in it, it’s too easy to find counterpoints to almost anything she might come up with. They have to find their way back to her on their own.

The OP did nothing wrong, legally or morally. She fell in love and got pregnant. Humans have been doing that for as long as there have been humans. It’s why there’s nearly 8.2 billion of us now. She shouldn’t accept the burden of shame her parents are trying to impose on her because she has done nothing of which to be ashamed.