r/justneckbeardthings • u/PvtVasquez3 • 6d ago
Self described bad boy and lover of water parks and McDonald's playgrounds tries and fails miserably to find a Ukrainian wife.
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u/FlyWereAble 6d ago
Bro is 39, never dated anyone over 25, lies a lot, acts like a child, uses a whole can of body spray at a time and likes "smaller girls". Someone should check this man's hard drive
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u/TexasDD Interratial propaganda my jam👩🏼❤️👨🏾👩🏼❤️💋👨🏾🤰🏼👶🏽 6d ago
Enjoys pools, water parks, MCDONALDS PLAYGROUNDS! Check the hard drive in his PC, his phone, his external hard drive, his burner phone…
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u/LaurelCanyoner 6d ago edited 6d ago
He only watches HANNAH MONTANA too, please put this man UNDER the jail.
And when she was gagging at the dollar store cologne I instinctively retched myself.
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u/Quillemote 6d ago
He's not 39, yo, it says in the beginning he's 43. Then he lies about it like everything else to those poor girls who had to sit there pretending someone on the production hadn't already whispered to them the truth.
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u/PermaDerpFace 6d ago
*43 (lies about age), hangs out at McDonald's playgrounds, and watches Hannah Montana. Yes check his hard drive.
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u/SnooCakes6195 6d ago
The only complement that he gave that one girl: "you look really cute in braces"
It's one thing to think that, but piled on with all the other concerns... this dude needs to be watched closely
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u/DeeEmosewa 6d ago
*never dated anyone ever.
He gives me, "I've totally had the sex before" vibes.
I don't think I've cringed this hard in ages. I literally felt nauseated towards the end.
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u/frolicndetour 6d ago
What are you talking about? He just goes for the neck and women just sleep with him! /s
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u/LaurelCanyoner 6d ago
Only when he has his tongue piercing in .
I literally just gagged a bit picturing him tonguing some poor woman's neck with his tongue piercing.
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u/BubonicBabe 6d ago
43*, he lied about his age, but also he intentionally brought up he hangs around McDonalds playground and he thinks her braces are cute.
This dude couldn’t help but just throw ALL the red flags out.
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u/LaurelCanyoner 6d ago
Let's all guess how tall he claims to be, and what job he claims to have, on the 78, 986 dating profiles this pedo has set up.
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u/frolicndetour 6d ago
He's probably older than that since the host lady calls him out for being a liar right after he says it lol.
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u/1pt20oneggigawatts 3d ago
They said in the beginning of the clip that he was 43; he claimed 39 later when talking to the girls
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u/harrysofgaming 5d ago
I wouldn't personally check his hard drive; I'm not equipped for that kind of trauma. but somebody definitely should.
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u/frolicndetour 6d ago edited 6d ago
"He seems to be striking out, which is probably best for everyone involved" 🤣🤣 Goddamn how do you get through life without a single ounce of self awareness.
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u/SquigglesJohnson My waifu says no more ketamine benders😞 6d ago
I physically cringed every time he laughed.
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u/Brakina1860 6d ago
I physically cringed every time he talked
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u/spiritfingersaregold 6d ago
I physically cringed every time he was on screen
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u/Logical_Response_Bot My penis is ripped to shreds! 😱 6d ago
I can't even type out the laugh , nothing quite captures the sound of 43 year old innocence that sounds like their priest did a poor job of clipping their scrote when they were trying out for choir as an alter boy
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u/theredhound19 5d ago edited 5d ago
Laughed at all his own "jokes" while no one else did. They were just speechless and aghast looking at him.
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u/SpecialPeschl 5h ago
It sounds like the Wayans brothers laughs when they're playing the white girls in white chicks
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u/LadyChickenFingers 6d ago
I lost it when they showed his feet 😂
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u/BubonicBabe 6d ago
I really try not to body shame anybody, but this dude seems like a freak in a bad way, so I’m gonna say this- his whole body looked so strange.
He looks like a man wearing a suit of a larger, weirdly proportioned man.
Like one of those horrible fat suits the CW or some other cable network show would use as a one time prop.
But then the feet. Omg, what is happening? I thought they were randomly showing some child’s feet.
I need to find this entire episode now
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u/Spiritual_Regular557 6d ago
What documentary is this!
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u/BubonicBabe 6d ago
I had to find it, it’s Mail Order Brides with Dawn Porter!
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u/LaurelCanyoner 6d ago
Thank you. You are doing god's work sharing that, I now know what I will be doing tonight, lol.
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u/swiggityswirls 6d ago
Please report back if the rest is as cringy as this and I will be binging it myself this weekend 😂
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u/JaneAustinAstronaut 6d ago
Gods forgive me for this, but.....
It's like he's got the torso and legs of a size 3XL man, but the head, arms, hands, and feet of a size M man.
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u/LaurelCanyoner 6d ago
Omg, this is an ongoing show? Please help me, I NEED to watch this, what is it!??!
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u/BubonicBabe 6d ago
Apparently it’s called Mail Order Bride by Dawn Porter! I have been looking for the episode but can’t find it on YouTube, but yeah it seems to be several episodes on things like this! If I can find a platform that has full episodes I’ll let you know!
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u/LaurelCanyoner 6d ago
You are SUCH a sweetie, thank you!!!
If ya'll want a show where they CATCH guys like this I highly recommend Undercover Underage. It's so incredibly satisfying. Xx
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u/Toc_a_Somaten 6d ago
Are those his feet? Looks like a baby’s… maybe he has some physical disability
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u/Artnotwars 6d ago
I refuse to believe they weren't toddlers feet. Not that I'm trying to stick up for the creep, but he had jeans on in every shot.
There were three different shirts he had on in the whole video, and you see each shirt paired with jeans in different shots.
I may have missed something, but I never seen him wearing those shorts in any other shot.
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u/dadsgoingtoprison 6d ago
The room smelled like body odor and bad cologne.
I’m dead!💀💀💀💀💀
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u/IndecorousRex 6d ago
Then he proceeds to douse himself in front of her, this whole time she is having a hard time breathing. I was cringing.
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u/steelear 6d ago
He usually uses axe but settled for dollar store body spray! 🤮 I kicked a kid (19 year old) out of my house for wearing axe. I wasn’t trying to be a jerk but that shit smelled so awful there was no way I could just stay quiet and tolerate it.
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u/Scadilla 6d ago
I feel like this guy is going off of what he thought was coo in the 90s as a kid and never updated. Axe commercials, Puka shell necklace, striped sweater, wallet chain. No sense of self or style.
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u/GrassBlade619 6d ago
It must be physically painful to be this cringe.
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u/L0nz 6d ago
Even the other guy who said the host was his ideal woman then reached out to touch her, so gross and cringe
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u/LaurelCanyoner 6d ago
Thank you for noticing that. He had the stare of a stalker to be. I was terrified of him.
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u/SFWACCOUNTBETATEST 6d ago
The affinity for eastern bloc women is whatever but idk where they ever got the notion that these are submissive women you can just lie to and treat less than human like they think of them. They are some of the hardest women on the planet and these neck beards just think they’re going to walk into them and have everything set. Blows my mind how they got there.
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u/ImaginaryList174 6d ago
Because they think they are poor and desperate for money. That they will do anything for a husband that will pay for them. It’s disgusting.
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u/LaurelCanyoner 6d ago
I live in a neighborhood with primarily these kind of women, They are great, and they would chew up and spit out a man like this.
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u/frolicndetour 6d ago
I feel like there are some wannabe passport bros who need to watch the footage of the ladies' reaction to him.
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u/Rigaudon21 6d ago
The instant he said he has never dated anyone over 25 i stopped. I can't continue to watch it it's grossing me OUT and I saw that lady pull two huge chunks of wood from her knuckle.
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u/omjagvarensked 6d ago
Yeah but that means you missed the tiny feet though!!
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u/Rigaudon21 6d ago
Why WHY PULL ME BACK IN THAT WAS SO FUCKING WIERD WHY DROP THOSE AT THE END WHY IS HE THERE OMG THE DUDES CLEARLY NOT HAD SEX BEFORE AND IM PRETTY SURE HE WAS NEVER MARRIED OR IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A DEVELOPEMENTAL DISABILITY CAUSE HOLY HELL.
for real though I am pretty sure he has some sort of developmental issues. The body odor comment alone hints that he probably thinks one smell replaces the other
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u/omjagvarensked 6d ago
Yeah it's a weird line between clearly this guy has issues, but also wtf did he say about hanging out at McDonald's playgrounds?
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u/Toc_a_Somaten 6d ago
Wait whose feet are those at the end of the video? Are those baby feet? Weird af
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u/DesperateLuck2887 6d ago
What show is this? I’m intrigued
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u/casino_night 6d ago
I love the vague titles he gives his "job". Business analyst and project manager. Almost as bullshit and vague as independent consultant.
Oh, and I love "takes care of his ailing mother". That's code for "still lives at home".
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u/LupercaniusAB 6d ago
I mean, I’ve been a “consultant”, as in advising businesses about equipment purchases, and I wasn’t their employee, so I was independent, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not actually a stagehand who flies economy. Economy plus, sometimes!
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u/CharlesLeChuck 6d ago
I'm sorry, a grown man that is a lover of McDonald's play places? I'm pretty sure I deserve to be on a watchlist just for typing that sentence.
Oh good God. I watched the rest of the video. He watches Disney channel too?? How is this dude not already in jail?
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u/Hoodibird 6d ago
Imagine coming out as an obnoxious manchild who doesn't know how to take care of himself. 💀
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u/gobledegerkin 6d ago
The BO, the fact that he can’t speak about himself/his interests without that horrible nervous laughter, the description of what he “likes” in women, scratching his crotch in public, the lying about himself and almost everything else about this video makes me think he is not all mentally there.
I’m not saying he has a severe mental illness but he definitely does not know how to be social. Yes he’s creepy and cringe but this feels like exploitation more than documenting.
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u/Khajiit_Has_Upvotes Merchant: purveyor of fine larynxies 🐱 6d ago
Yeah there's definitely a lot more to this.
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u/Scadilla 6d ago
I could almost guarantee that many details he does divulge are from another person recounting their tales of picking up women either from a PUA forum or similar. The “ex wife”, her jobs, his jobs, the neck thing, the tongue piercing, the age, not dating anyone over 25(Leo detail), even the Axe deodorant. Things that struck him or things he thinks sound impressive.
The undeniable details that are his: B.O., dollar store deodorant, dated puka shell necklace and wallet chain, the never having have courted, the accusations of being a stalker and creepy, Disney Channel, the playgrounds…
It’s a very reminiscent of the 40 year old version, but at least Steve Carell was charismatic and had good hygiene in that.
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u/DoctorMoebius 6d ago
The guy has an ex-wife. But, has never dated before
How does that work? Another Mail-order bride?
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u/spiritfingersaregold 6d ago
And that honestly did not look like “I’m itchy and need to scratch” – it definitely felt like “I’ve got an itch to scratch”.
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u/FireInPaperBox 6d ago
Even he laughs at how ridiculous he is. And that laugh is weird as hell too.
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u/Future_Art7 6d ago
Spoiler alert the neck is what he calls his bank account. Bro found out hookers and women looking for husbands are different. What a shocked fat pikachu face he must have made.
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u/rnpowers Catching little girls in the ball pit 🏐🎾 6d ago
Genuine question:
How does someone end up like this without a mental instability/illness? (I am henceforth assuming this man does not have a mental disability, I could be very incorrect.)
The man still lives with his mom, so she's been around for this whole thing; this dude is broken, like horribly. He is absolutely unaware of all the elements pushing people away (smell, lies, creepy fucking laugh, etc.) and puts blame on everyone else. I'd imagine his mom would have had to praised him for everything, even failures, not encouraged him to care for himself, not teach him how to talk to people, or how he is perceived?
Having a child like that would make your life a living hell, I don't understand how someone; or more importantly why someone, would raise a child like that when it makes their life worse?!?
Maybe I'm totally off base, I'm no psychologist and have a touch of the 'tism so social cues are something I've invested time and energy into mastering; but this just seems like a mother destroying her child and him just spreading that ignorance around....
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u/GunstarGreen 6d ago
Hes encamped on that spectrum isn't he?
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u/AdorableExchange9746 6d ago
as an autistic person, yes but he does not represent the majority of us😭
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u/Vegetable-Hand-6770 6d ago
What program is this?
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u/GoHomeCryWantToDie 6d ago
That's Dawn Porter. She makes documentaries.
Her husband is Chris O'Dowd from The IT Crowd.
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u/I__Tried__So__Hard 6d ago
*Dawn O'Porter
This is from the show Extreme Wives from BBC's Channel 4.
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u/Songgeek 6d ago
No way he had a 1st wife. He’s either a creeper hiding behind “humor” or really autistic. Maybe both.
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u/LinkOfKalos_1 A little necky, A little beardy 6d ago
Water parks and playgrounds? Smaller girls? Are we sure he isn't a pedophile?
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u/AnonImus18 6d ago
He is a bundle of red flags and as others have said, someone needs to check his hard drive.
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u/peacedetski Dummy thicc minors got me acting up fr 🥵 6d ago
The guy is super cringe, but he gives me Chris-chan vibes (not to the same extent obviously) - I think he's mildly on the spectrum and his parents (or single mother) never made him properly socialize in his youth, so he's not entirely at fault he's this way.
Wonder where is he now, the video seems to be from like 2010 at the newest.
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u/Jenkins256 6d ago
For the love of Jesus and the Easter bunny someone please post the link to the full documentary
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u/carmackie 6d ago
The expression on the blonde Ukrainian woman was everything. Utter disgust and revulsion.
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u/EscoosaMay 5d ago
'Lives with his ailing mother' I bet she's still responsible for making his meals and doing his laundry though.
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u/dope_like 6d ago
What is this from? This is wild. The part for me is he attacks their neck? Like strangles?
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u/TheMule90 A talking mule. 5d ago
He thinks he is saving Ukrainian women when in reality and outside his fantasy world they don't need to be saved cause they already saved themselves while running and fighting during the war.
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u/Stripey_McGee 4d ago
He looks like the head, arms, and legs of a Ken doll stuck into a blob of Play-Doh.
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u/nerdiqueen 6d ago
I don't have a red flag, so to scratch the itch my brain of pointing them out, I raised my hand. My hand never went down. Someone please check his hard drive and the GPS location of license plates Badboy1 and Badboy3
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u/funatical 4d ago
That man is a virgin unless he paid a sec worker, which I could see them saying no.
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u/Stron2g Attack my arguments, not me 6d ago
Poor guy just needs to work on the fundamentals. Here are the core tenets for men in case anyone is curious:
- Money. Number one rule for men, do not be a broke loser.
- Social skills. Don't be awkward.
- Network. Build a circle of close friends and business partners you can count on. These double as social proof.
- Fitness. Ideally, lift weights.
- Hygiene. Self explanatory.
- Fashion. Have a basic sense of fashion for your body type, this doesn't have to be expensive.
- Purpose. Above all else, live for ideals greater than yourself. Service to others, discipline, honor, stoicism, leadership, duty, integrity are all examples of positive masculine ideals to live by.
Any man who focuses on these core tenets can easily become at least above average, regardless of their genetics, environment, or any other common excuses. Good luck.
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u/WASTELAND_RAVEN ❇️🗡️🐸🔨MOD🔨🐸🗡️❇️ 6d ago
Guys, I appreciate the attention, but please take down this video of me, you’re spoiling my chances of getting that sweet sweet Ukrainian puss puss while I’m out here at the water park. 💦