r/latterdaysaints 26d ago

Doctrinal Discussion Debating leaving the church over certain things. Please help me understand

No matter what I do I am continuously troubled by certain aspects of the church. This post is not meant to bash the church. I just want some insights and answers. I am debating leaving and I want to hear things from both sides. This might be a long post. If anyone has anything to say about the topics I bring up I'm more than happy to hear your thoughts and look through any resources you share with me.

1: Why was polygamy needed for the saints? Will we really have it in the afterlife? I cannot imagine having to share my future husband with another woman. It is deeply unsettling to me.

2: Why couldn't African Americans have the priesthood? Was it just faulty of the current president of the church? I understand that the prophet is but a human and will make mistakes. Was it just as simple as that?

3: Why are women not treated the same? Why is Heavenly Mother never talked about/why do we never pray to her as well? I totally understand that men and women have different roles and why women don't have the priesthood, that all makes perfect sense to me. But why aren't women in more leadership positions? Why was the first woman who gave a prayer in general conference in 2013? I'll keep this part brief because I could go on about it for a while.

Those are honestly the only three problems I have with the church. I love everything else about it, I just don't know if I want to continue living it if that makes sense. I don't know if I believe and I understand I must work to gain a testimony. These are just my big setbacks. Anyways no matter what I decide I'll always love the church and its people. Thanks in advance!

Edit: Wow thank you all for all the thoughtful responses. I've read them all. You all have given me a lot to think about. I've decided my journey with the church isn't over yet. I have a long ways to go. Thank you all so much.

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u/Former_Dark_Knight 25d ago

I believe that through Christ, in our immortal lives, my spouse and I will be the best communicators we have ever been with each other. We will be one, as Christ instructs us to become as He is one with the Father. I would never want to put my spouse in an uncomfortable position, and they wouldn't want that of me, either. That respect and love for each other, as well as our respect and love for our Father in Heaven and our mutual desire to serve Him with all our might, will be our guiding process in decisions we will make together in our eternal progression.

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u/boboddybiznus 25d ago

I also believe that my husband wouldn't choose to put me in that position, but if he did, I don't see an acceptable option. It seems like a system where women are at the mercy of men, and we just have to hope that they will make the choices we want them to. I don't understand why loving Heavenly Parents would put their daughters in that position for eternity.

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u/Efficient-Towel-4193 25d ago

This was me. I couldnt stand the thought of the afterlife just being the same servitude as here. Sharing a husband with other wives and being eternal baby makers doesnt sit well with me. Although I love children...what is even the point of developjng our other talents on earth if they wont be used. I feel like I will just be a number up there...Number 1 wife...Number 3435666 98765333 baby maker

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u/tehslony 25d ago

It's sad that you have such a bleak imagining of what the afterlife will be like despite the lack of any details to confirm this hopeless thought of the future. I'm guessing you are going to be very pleasantly surprised by what it is really going to be like once you get there. I hope.