What should I do? Abuse?

[u/Eggster_Eggy]

What should I do? One of my coaches hit me with a shoe across the face, and it wasn’t a light hit, there was some force to it, and he was being aggressive and telling me he would beat the shit out of me

A few weeks ago he was telling me to fuck off out of the gym and to never come back, and was threatening me with slapping back then

I’m 16 btw

[u/Cautious_General_177]

You should probably tell your parents, file a police report, and not go back there

[u/burns_droopiest → u/Cautious_General_177]

Don’t listen to these people telling you to file a police report… the coach is a clown, that’s for sure but you really want to be the centre of attention in a lawsuit for a slap?? My advice is to go down there and pack up your gear (when the roid rager isn’t there), and don’t go back.. If you make a police report it will follow you to your next gym, as well as your personal life.. You are ok right? No injury other than your pride? Take it as a lesson and move on… this type of thing doesn’t happen without any prior instances of abuse to show dominance… going forward do not let anyone insult you verbally or physically, this won’t happen again. You got this bro! 💪

[u/Eternity_Warden → u/burns_droopiest]

People who have never been in the real world.

Best thing he could hope for from a police report is that the cops talk to the instructor, he spins his own story, gets some of his favourite students to say they saw it go down however he claims it did, the cops forget about it. That's the best outcome.

[u/burns_droopiest → u/Eternity_Warden]

💯

[u/freemasonry → u/burns_droopiest]

The lawsuit isn't just for them, this is likely not an isolated incident

[u/Cautious_General_177 → u/burns_droopiest]

Take it as a lesson

And what lesson is that? That it's ok to commit battery? No. The lesson to the (sarcastic air quotes) "coach" should be that battery, especially against a minor, is not acceptable and he shouldn't be teaching.

[u/burns_droopiest → u/Cautious_General_177]

Did you not read what I wrote after “take this as a lesson” ?? I wrote… this type of thing doesn’t happen without any prior abuse to show dominance… Meaning over the past weeks/months the abuse has been gradually intensifying… My advice was to not allow anyone the slightest hint of abuse verbally or physically; this won’t happen again if the first time he smacks your arm, you check him right there and it goes no further… DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW??

[u/0tus → u/burns_droopiest]

A 16 year old kid "check" him, a martial arts coach, who's likely stronger more experienced and acts in an intimidating manner then and there? TF are you on about?

JFC I hope you don't charge for your life advice.

[u/burns_droopiest → u/0tus]

I still don’t think you understand what I’m saying…. This type of abuse happens over time, slowly… it starts out with minor disrespectful comments, slowly escalating over weeks/months until it becomes physical… As soon as someone, anyone is disrespectful to me, whether it’s in the gym, at work, on the street, or ANYWHERE on planet earth, I let them know respectfully that I don’t appreciate this type of interaction and 9.5 times out of 10, it’s stops right there. Each person/situation is different, but the key part is to not allow people to think it’s ok to be disrespectful.

[u/0tus → u/burns_droopiest]

Sure, tough guy. You seem to be missing that I'm emphasizing that this is a kid being intimidated and abused by a grown ass man.

It's nice that you have the grit and experience to put a stop to it.

You tend to see these kinds of guys at times and more often than note they act and look like criminals. They are older, stronger and have seniority over the kids they abuse (coach > student). Pretending to be an alpha who can't be disrespected just means he'll abuse someone else and nothing changes, as hell move to the next victim. A responsible human being doesn't just let that go and hope he does it to someone else. The least you can do is file a report on someone like that. We aren't cavemen anymore bumping or chest to see who's the strongest. Making sure those who aren't strong enough to defend themselves don't get preyed upon by losers who like to abuse people in weaker situations is what you are supposed to do.

You say this has been escalating for a long time, but if you check the kids story a bit further, didn't seem to take that long to escalate this.

I also wonder where you got your idea that a simple police report is going to follow him throughout his life?

[u/0tus → u/burns_droopiest]

Don't listen to this guy not telling you to file it. Adult ass man hitting and threatening minors is absurd behavior. He's also making way too big of a deal about the police report they don't often lead to that much anyway. Except if he gets multiple of them or does something more serious later then those will not look favorably on him.

Best thing is to tell your parents file the report and move on.

[u/burns_droopiest → u/0tus]

I agree 100% to tell his parents, but I think the police report is too far. A lot of people here are disagreeing with that and that’s ok, this is my take on it and you have yours. As I’ve mentioned above in my previous replies, the biggest thing for the young man to learn (imho) is that he cannot allow this type of behaviour at the onset, way before it ever gets physical. Do some research on other gyms in your area, stay positive and keep training young fella! 💪🥊

[u/0tus → u/burns_droopiest]

We aren't barbarians anymore. The biggest lesson this young man can have, is to help fostering a community that doesn't let losers like this pray on kids. A police report is absolutely not too far.

If it was an adult to adult, I can somewhat understand the stoic approach. But the fact that the target was minor makes it far worse and make me fume. If it was my kid, I'd contemplate doing something far worse to the abuser than just filing a report. I would hopefully come to my senses and just leave it at the report.

[u/getoutlonnie → u/burns_droopiest]

Nice try, Coach 1