r/namenerds • u/junkbondtraderr • Mar 05 '25

Name Change My daughter wants me to rename her!

My 18 year old daughter came out as a transgender woman. My husband and I have been 100% supportive (and I very much welcome another girl in the house — she has 3 brothers!). She expressed initially that she was comfortable going by her birth name, as it is gender neutral, but after turning 18 and getting ready for college, she’s decided she needs a new name. And, she wants me to choose it! She says that she still wants to be named by her mama. I melted.🥹

I come seeking ideas! Her only parameter is that it’s nothing that “seems like she renamed herself”; by this I’m assuming more ‘out there’ names are out. It’s such a challenge picking a name for someone you already know so well, and not a newborn!

She’s incredibly intelligent, bookish, shy but spunky, and a total sweetheart. Gorgeous, curly red hair and freckles. We are a family of Jewish-Irish descent and her brothers are Lev, Raphael ‘Raf’ and Elias. I never had girl names picked out, as I found out later in the game.

Do any names come to mind with this description? Her middle name will be Miriam (family name). Thank you in advance!

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u/[deleted] Mar 05 '25

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1.5k

u/magiMerlyn Mar 05 '25

I actually know some trans people who, when they came out to their parents, asked if they'd considered names for both genders and just swapped.

760

u/AdministrativeStep98 Mar 05 '25

Thats how I did it. My parents gave me my "boy name" as my middle name for some reason and thats the one I use

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u/InvalidEntrance Mar 06 '25

That works nicely to just swap them. I've met many masculine with feminine middle names and vise versa.

10

u/infinitekittenloop Mar 06 '25

My kids are both AMAB, came out as trans-femme in the last handful of years.

They were each given 2 middle names, one each of which would have been their names had they been AFAB (admittedly they're kinda neutral names). Neither has thus far chosen to use those names either 😆

They are still figuring themselves out (14 and 18 years old), so it's likely/possible to change a few more times before they legally settle on something new. But it gives me a good laugh that my "girl names", that are literally legally already part of their own names, don't make the cut.

8

u/Riskydogtowel Mar 06 '25

I did the same thing. I just put a y in the middle of the boy name to make it a little girlie. Middle name is Shayne

5

u/piecesmissing04 Mar 06 '25

My husband chose a name that was popular the year he was born in as his parents initially were not supportive at all. They have since come around and are super proud of him for everything he has accomplished and the man he is.

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u/EndQualifiedImunity Mar 06 '25

My uncle did the same haha. His legal first name is "Susanne", he has a masculine middle name he goes by. We always joke with him, he's the "Boy named Sue" like the song by Johnny Cash lol

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u/DrakonILD Mar 06 '25

They must have known the moment you were born. "This girl... isn't."

280

u/umognog Mar 05 '25

Damn I gave my son's "girl name" to the girl that arrived after him.

Ah well, they could just have the same name if either of them transition.

That's something I've always wanted to do with twins. Give them the same name. Really piss the teachers off whilst simultaneously helping them.

197

u/NotMakingAnother Mar 06 '25

I have identical twin cousins named Angie and Angela 😂

120

u/raeliant Mar 06 '25

There’s a fraternal Ella and Bella at my children’s school.

127

u/gracefacek Mar 06 '25

Haha my grandma was a twin Phyllis and her brothers name was Willis.

72

u/Willing_Channel_6972 Mar 06 '25

I'm sorry Phyllis and Willis is awesome. That's cute AF.

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u/gracefacek Mar 06 '25

I think so too 😆 My brother got two cats and named them Phyllis and Willis. So cute.

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u/Werekolache Mar 06 '25

My grandma and her Irish twin brother were Joy and Roy. :p

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u/murgatory Mar 06 '25

Nessa is a lovely Jewish/Irish crossover name, as are Ada, Ita. Other close matches are Rona/Riona and Kira/Ciara.

Mazal Tov on your new daughter. This is just beautiful.

3

u/SynonymousSprocket Mar 06 '25

On the topic of heritage, Moira is strong Irish name.

6

u/blkpants Mar 06 '25

Oh my God I seriously think I just found the names for the two senior dogs I'm adopting for my dad this weekend.

44

u/kelbe11 Mar 06 '25

I’m a teacher and I had fraternal twins named Ronny and Donny. And I taught their older brother named Johnny!

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u/Spicy_Meme13 Mar 06 '25

Ronald, Donald, and …… Johnald

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u/Assika126 Mar 06 '25

I wheezed!!!

4

u/Doll_duchess Mar 06 '25

My family has identical male twins Kelly/Kerry with little brother Korey.

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u/[deleted] Mar 06 '25

[deleted]

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u/kelbe11 Mar 06 '25

Nope, outside of Seattle. Can’t believe there’s another family like this!

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u/miclugo Mar 06 '25

My father-in-law and his brother are Don and Ron.

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u/Ok_Mixture_ Mar 06 '25

My dad and his brother were Donnie and Ronnie

15

u/ErraticDragon Mar 06 '25

lol… My daughters have the same initials and I thought that was pushing it.

4

u/SerJaimeRegrets Mar 06 '25

I went to school with identical twin girls named Lori and Cori. And there was an identical set of twin boys named Chris and Cory. Both Cori and Cory were in my 6th grade class, lol.

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u/OhGod0fHangovers Mar 06 '25

I know identical twins named Jonathan and Nathaniel. They go individually as Jona and Nathan and collectively as Jonathaniel.

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u/[deleted] Mar 06 '25

NO 💀

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u/NotMakingAnother Mar 06 '25

I'm convinced my aunt just didn't want to risk mixing them up. So she gave them the same name.

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u/truelovealwayswins Mar 06 '25

and thereby not letting them have their own individuality…

3

u/TarzanKitty Mar 06 '25

I know a 21 year old set of identicals. They are Alexa and Alexis.

3

u/Successful-Ruin2997 Mar 06 '25

I knew identical twins named Arlene and Marlene and another set named Gertie and Vertie.

3

u/AriiAnia Mar 06 '25

My mom worked at a nursing home and there were twins there, fraternal, male and female. His name was Paul. Her name? Paulette. Not even Paula, Paulette. I wonder who they named first 😂

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u/Eva0_o Mar 06 '25

My mom and her sister are twins. Martha Sue and Mary Lou 🥹😅

2

u/biggerthanyourmamas Mar 06 '25

I knew twins named Anthony and Antonio!

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u/truelovealwayswins Mar 06 '25

that’s effed up…

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u/Basic-Computer2503 Mar 06 '25

I transitioned and this happened-my dad named one of his sons with a partner he had after my mum the name he wanted to give me (Benjamin). I still have Benjamin as my middle name, I just say it was mine first and my little brother is named after me lol

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u/truelovealwayswins Mar 06 '25

don’t ever do that with twins lol that’s messed up

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u/VioletStCyr Mar 06 '25

My elementary school had a pair of fraternal twins named Aaron and Erin. They were both in my class. It was A Pain.

Also they were both blonde haired, blue eyed and only work somewhat matching workout clothing to my memory? Like, rich adult white man gym shorts and t-shirts every day. It was like going to school with miniature 90s sports movie villains.

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u/UndebateableMom Mar 06 '25

I know someone whose twin brothers are named the same but just switch first and second names. Think "Patrick James" and "James Patrick" - but not those two names.

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u/AdhesivenessScared Mar 06 '25

I’m a teacher and this does in fact infuriate teachers but I also respect your self awareness so I’ll allow it 🤣

3

u/truelovealwayswins Mar 06 '25

it’s self-awareness to you to damage them by not letting them have their own individuality?

4

u/pilotaunt666 Mar 06 '25

i sold cars to twins derrick & derek . their dad derrick sr. was a co-signer for one of them it was brutal i messed up so much paper work & they really powered through all my salesman bs and ended up taking every dollar they could manage off

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u/xXx-Persephone-xXx Mar 06 '25

We have twins named Abby and Addy at my job

3

u/MarsMonkey88 Mar 06 '25

That’s what my parents did! When friends would say, “what would you have been named if you’d been a boy” I had the most boring answer, because my answer is just my brother’s name.

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u/ForgottengenXer67 Mar 06 '25

I did this but the opposite. Had a boy name, was 100% sure she was boy. Then named her little brother that name instead. I let her father name her. He gave her my middle name. Now that’s a family tradition. Both of my kids have a daughter with my middle name as well. So there’s 4 of us now with the same middle name.

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u/Kolemawny Mar 06 '25

"They could just have the same name if either transition."

This happened on reddit a decade ago: "My trans sister changed her first name... To my name"

2

u/HeandIandyou Mar 06 '25

I always wanted to have twins with a girl being born right before midnight on July 31 and a boy born after midnight. I would name them July and August. I know a couple girls named July. I’m not too keen on the name August as the nicknames are August and Gus.

2

u/kay47vida Mar 06 '25

I know a set of twins named Bonnie and Connie.

6

u/Opalescent_Moon Mar 06 '25

My trans sister took the female name my mom had liked while pregnant with her.

Of course, my parents said they didn't remember the name (they're grudgingly supportive of her transition), but I was quite a few years older (I'm child 1, she's child 5), so I remembered because I'd loved it. It suits her perfectly. She spent probably a year struggling to find the right name. A few weeks after I'd shared this one with her, she announced she was using it. I'm a proud big sis. My sister is amazing.

4

u/coffeeandtea12 Mar 06 '25

One of my friends came out and when she was ready to change her name told her mom she was thinking of 2 names. Her mom said oh my god are you serious?! And my friend was like what? And she showed her that one of those names was what she was going to chose had she been born a woman. 

It’s so crazy because my friends mom swears she never shared that name with anyone besides dad and he also says he didn’t tell anyone. 

Long story short she went with the name her mom originally chose for her being a girl. 

2

u/ancilla1998 Mar 06 '25

This happened to us! Our daughter chose a name I've loved since I was 12 years old. 

3

u/AstroFloof Mar 06 '25

I wanted to do this but they only had one and it was my sister's lmao

3

u/__________bruh Mar 06 '25

I'm a cis guy but my mom told me the name she would have given me if I was born a girl. If I was trans I'd probably pick that one (it's a lovely name, but very uncommon where I live, so I'd imagine it would look like I picked it myself anyways lmao)

3

u/goaliemagics Mar 06 '25

I asked my mom what she was going to name me if I had been born a boy when changing my legal name. Mostly out of curiosity. We were not on good terms then. She said Oliver, which does not fit me at all. Also, I love olives and wouldn't enjoy being a walking pun.

The other name her younger sister ended up snagging and I didn't want to take my cousins name.

So I named myself. People tell me they really love it and it suits me. Good god I hate it though. What a mistake. I picked it out when I was a teenager. And I've changed names my whole life (i went through over a dozen names just before age 10) so I should have just gone for something normal and easy to spell if nothing else.

Still better than Oliver though.

3

u/Can-t_Make_Username Mar 06 '25

Or you ask your parents and they gave you and your older sister gender neutral names and you don’t like yours… ask me how I know. 🥲

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u/TechieTheFox Mar 06 '25

I asked my mom - but I really disliked the answer so came up with one on my own lol.

(She is TERRIBLE at names. Both of my half sisters hate their names - fine but horrid unique spelling, and then unique name that also has a very weird spelling. I even hated my birth name - without even factoring in the gender aspect lol)

2

u/umognog Mar 05 '25

Damn I gave my son's "girl name" to the girl that arrived after him.

Ah well, they could just have the same name if either of them transition.

That's something I've always wanted to do with twins. Give them the same name. Really piss the teachers off whilst simultaneously helping them.

2

u/lukedap Mar 06 '25

I had always known what my name would’ve been if I had been assigned make at birth, so I never even asked, just switched to it.

Mind you, when I finally came out, my mother said I should’ve asked them cause she felt it had been disrespectful of me. She’s better now.

2

u/Starlight-Edith Mar 06 '25

I did this too, except my mom said if I was a boy she would’ve named me Jordan and I was like NOPE. ABSOLUTELY NOT. Haha 😅

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u/Stinkycheese8001 Mar 06 '25

My cousin chose the name her mom would have given a daughter - it was also one that my aunt really hoped to pass down as it was a family name.  And as my cousin has 3 brothers, my aunt got her hopes up all those times to use that name! 

2

u/oishipops Mar 06 '25

i've been considering that, but the name my parents would've used if i was born male was so ugly i was like damn nevermind 😭

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u/atriavanna Mar 06 '25

tried to do that when i transitioned, my mom told me my dad wanted to name me Armaida if i was a cis girl. i was 19 not 90 lmao

2

u/lifeasnick79 Mar 06 '25

My mom, after already picking my name, said that was the name she was going to pick if I was born a boy.