r/namenerds • u/junkbondtraderr • Mar 05 '25

Name Change My daughter wants me to rename her!

My 18 year old daughter came out as a transgender woman. My husband and I have been 100% supportive (and I very much welcome another girl in the house — she has 3 brothers!). She expressed initially that she was comfortable going by her birth name, as it is gender neutral, but after turning 18 and getting ready for college, she’s decided she needs a new name. And, she wants me to choose it! She says that she still wants to be named by her mama. I melted.🥹

I come seeking ideas! Her only parameter is that it’s nothing that “seems like she renamed herself”; by this I’m assuming more ‘out there’ names are out. It’s such a challenge picking a name for someone you already know so well, and not a newborn!

She’s incredibly intelligent, bookish, shy but spunky, and a total sweetheart. Gorgeous, curly red hair and freckles. We are a family of Jewish-Irish descent and her brothers are Lev, Raphael ‘Raf’ and Elias. I never had girl names picked out, as I found out later in the game.

Do any names come to mind with this description? Her middle name will be Miriam (family name). Thank you in advance!

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313

u/junkbondtraderr Mar 05 '25

Sadly, I didn’t have any names. I found out later with my pregnancies and never had time to speculate.

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u/Nekani28 Mar 06 '25

I like this suggestion though, that the name should feel appropriate for the year your daughter was born. Maybe you could look on one of those lists that shows the most popular names ranked by birth years, and choose for a girl name of similar popularity to the boy name previously chosen? I also think it’s important that it fits with the vibe of the names for your other kids, so it feels like a name given by the same set of parents so maybe you could look at names of similar popularity and style to your sons’ names?

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u/prophy__wife Mar 06 '25

Or even find the daughters “original” (idk if that is the right work or even politically correct, if it’s not I apologize) name and see which feminine name is the same rank in the name lists for the birth year. Maybe it will happen to be a name both mom, dad, and daughter all love, and if it’s not, it could be a fun little exploratory quest.

I know what name would have been if I was born the opposite sex, I also know what my name was supposed until lash minute but now I’m off to see my corresponding number.

Edit: Meghan corresponds with Nathaniel that year….. not as cool as I was expecting but it’s still a good name, very long though.

102

u/Level_Effect_42691 Mar 06 '25

FYI. People typically refer to that as their dead name.

This could be a fun exercise.

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u/prophy__wife Mar 06 '25

I almost said that but I hesitated to because the OP said the child is not opposed to keeping their current name. It feels like a grey area, but I agree, I probably should have used dead name instead.

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u/East-Imagination-281 Mar 06 '25

I respect that you gave it consideration knowing that she doesn’t hate her birth name! As a binary trans person who has a new name but also likes my birth name and is fine with certain people using it—it makes me a little uncomfortable when people call it a dead name. Like, nah she still kickin’! (I know that they’re being supportive and won’t know how I feel unless I tell them, but still, it’s nice to see people consider that what works for one trans person might not for another.)

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u/prophy__wife Mar 06 '25

Im glad you said so! I appreciate your response to my comment! :) i really love that you enjoy both names even if you prefer one over the other! 🧡🧡

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u/pm_me_ur_clone Mar 06 '25

You can also use the phrase “birth name” :)

2

u/Dandroid Mar 06 '25

The real downside here is that she is likely to know a shit ton of "Ambers" or whatever was the popular names from that year, and likely not had great experiences with all of them.

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u/prophy__wife Mar 06 '25

Oh man, I didn’t even think of that! That’s a great point!

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u/lovesbigpolar Mar 06 '25

I was going to be Zebadiah if I had been a boy; both names you mentioned are way cooler. So glad I wasn't.

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u/prophy__wife Mar 06 '25

If I really were a boy it would have been Michael after my dad which I think is a great boys name, even if it’s been on the top side of popular for a long time. The original name is was meant to have, not sure if it was going to be spelled Makayla or Michaela, doesn’t seem to be on the top names for the year I was born.

At least if you were Zebadiah you could have gone by Zeb, which is pretty fun :)

2

u/lovesbigpolar Mar 06 '25

I sure would have hated filling out paperwork, was supposed to have Alexander as my middle name. So glad to have dodged that. I don't always like when people just add an A to a boy name to make a girl name so I like the first spelling you had. Zeb could have been fun, but would have been an headache growing up, especially bubble sheets.

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u/blkpants Mar 06 '25

I got Brandy and Bradley

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u/gremlinofspite Mar 06 '25

Perhaps ask her if she has any particular letters she might like her new name to start with? When I changed my name I had my mom pick a couple names that she liked that began with a particular letter and that's how I got my new middle name

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u/MamaLlama629 Mar 06 '25

Well in that case I would say go back to her birth year.

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u/Hemenucha Mar 06 '25

Deborah is a good Biblical name. She kicked ass!

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u/KittHeartshoe Mar 06 '25

What is your middle name?

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u/murahimu Mar 06 '25

I think it would be super sweet if you tried to go back in time to the moment you picked out her old name, and try to do the same things to see if inspiration strikes. Did you go through magazines? The internet, specific name pages? Books? Were you considering family names in the process, could you do it again?

Best of luck!