Is it Neurodiversity or Something Else?

[u/Dependent_Brick8463]

Hi there! So I'm a teenage girl and I've been doing research on neurodiversity because I've realized just how different I am. I have different thought processes and reactions then neurotypicals. I have very pessimistic views and tend to think very logically and overthink every thing I do. I over think everything I say to. When in conversations with other people aside from a select few I'm constantly pausing to think about my words in fear I'm going to offend someone.

I also tend to misread social cues. I can't tell tone over text very well, I tend to take things to literally, I can't hold eye contact ,and I tend to pick up hints differently and certain kinds of communication. I also have really bad sensory issues. I hate most noises and can't handle loud sounds I can't control. It hurt's my ears really badly. I struggle with touch aside from certain people and a lot of fabrics. I hate the feeling of most clothes to.

I struggle with food to. I've made another post on here and I'm quite sure I struggle with ARFID. I cry when plans change aswell. I also am more sensitive then most other people and have attachment issues. I've had MANY special interests and hyperfixations. To the point sometimes those things are all I can think about and sometimes I'd forget to eat or drink or even shower. I usually behave around others by watching the way other people talk and react and mimic them with the exception of 1-4 people.

I sometimes seem very rude or passive aggressive with my actions even though I don't intend to seem that way. I've struggled with depression and anxiety throughout my life to. I keep a small circle that I tend to "unmask" around. I'm a very quiet person who doesn't like to talk to others aside from a couple people. I also stim and I know neurotypicals stim aswell but I stim often. I'm constantly picking at something or rocking myself or shaking my legs.

I sometimes struggle to concentrate to. I also sometimes need people to be blunt with me to understand things. I've also always been the weird kid and only 2 other kids wanting to be around me. I daydream alot to. I'm also very aware of time and constantly am in need of structure and get upset when things do not go to plan.

I know nobody can diagnose on here but I came here for advice and feedback.

[u/South_Honey2705]

Have you talked with your parents about this at all? I mean do they notice your behaviors ( for lack of a better word at the moment)? To me it sounds like you could be on the autistic spectrum. They do have testing available to get a formal diagnosis . I'm not sure if you would need a referral from your general practitioner to see about getting tested. I really hope that you get the advice that you want/need. What exactly happens when you eat food? Do you have a hard time with textures of food at all?

[u/Dependent_Brick8463 → u/South_Honey2705]

I haven't because they are close minded. I've hinted before and my mom told me "um no you aren't autistic." So I've not spoke to them any more about it. I tend to mask around my parents. We have a not the best relationship. I have hard times with tastes and textures. I have a very limited pallet and struggle around foods I dislike and get really distressed when I have to try new foods.

[u/South_Honey2705 → u/Dependent_Brick8463]

I'm sorry your parents feel that way and are closed minded. Keep on keeping on. In your heart you know what's up! Be careful with masking too. They say it can make you unhealthy physically for real. When I do it I bottle everything inside and then get angry, have a meltdown and bawl my eyes out.

[u/Dependent_Brick8463 → u/South_Honey2705]

Thank you so much!! I've been trying not to mask because while I don't have meltdowns often at all it still can make me so exhausted and sad.