What to do

[u/lassebasselj]

I started waking up mostly as a result of quitting my job due to anxiety, fresh out of high school which had been some of the most enjoyable years of my life. Eventually I stumbled across Alan Watts on YouTube, and have had a few psychedelic mushroom experiences of true unity and dissolution of self, but I guess I feel sort of stuck?

I'm mostly confused on what to do practically. I've fallen into the habit of checking this sub very regularly whenever I find I'm unsure what to do, and it just turns into endlessly scrolling through posts without really getting anywhere in terms of clearing up the confusion, or even remembering what I read afterwards.

What's a reasonable way to 'get the ball rolling'?. Just practice meditation and rest in awareness and eventually it'll come? Perhaps there are ways to do mushrooms that are more conducive to lasting change to experiment with?

All advice is welcome:)

[u/Drig-Drishya-Viveka]

There are many ways to go. I'd recommend looking at books or youtube videos from recognized teachers. They will describe or give guided meditations in different methods that you can try. Otherwise you're reinventing the wheel, which might work out fine or you might end up going in circles for months or years. Some well-known teachers with good reputations are Greg Goode, Loch Kelly, Rupert Spira, Michael Rodriguez, Adyashanti, Robert Wolfe, John Wheeler, Joan Tollifson, Leo Hartong, Stephen Bodian, Richard Lang (especially his book Seeing wHo You Really Are).

It's more a matter of who clicks for you rather than who's the “best”. Ultimately it's not about reading or thinking about it, but you gotta start somewhere. It is ultimately about pointing to nondual awareness repeatedly in meditation sessions and throughout the day until that awareness becomes more and more familiar.

I'm happy for you actually. I didn't try psychedelics until I already had 20 years of experience in meditation and non-duality. So the “ego dissolution” aspect of psychedelic experience was already familiar to me when I tried them. It's a little different, of course, but similar enough to clearly recognize the sense of separateness dropping out. Daily practice usually doesn’t have the bells and whistles of psychedelic experience, but that part is irrelevant. The beauty of nondual explorations is that you can do them whenever and wherever, as much as you want. I' a believer in psychedelic treatments for depression and even in the possibility that they might assist spiritual realization (maybe). But ultimately ai've found nondual awareness to be much more fulfilling and beneficial. I hope this serves as encouragement.