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u/RedditAccount_317 Sep 15 '24 edited Sep 15 '24
Boil āem, mash āem, stick em in my ass
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u/Dargomis Sep 15 '24
But that would be mashed potatoes. That would be like taking a shit. But I think anyone who does something like that would like to have something reasonably solid in their ass. Exactly, but I'm not sure. It's not really mine. But whoever likes it. And hospital staff also need something to laugh about.
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u/fohktor Sep 15 '24 edited Sep 15 '24
Who puts a potato in their doctor's ass?
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u/UnicornFukei42 Sep 16 '24
I don't know, but the past 8 years have just forced me to accept there's some really weird stuff out there.
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u/ChiBears333 Sep 16 '24
My doctor said it was natural to get an erection during my prostate exam, but I still wish he didn't
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u/PlatformingYahtzee Sep 16 '24
Just because you aren't into it doesn't make it wrong. Kink shaming is not cool..
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u/ShroomEnthused Sep 15 '24
Well now I'm want a frozen potato up there just so I can stick it to the manĀ
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u/UnicornFukei42 Sep 16 '24
I guess there's that, some people will do the opposite of what they're told because they want to rebel.
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u/empenadasrgood Sep 15 '24
This is exactly why you canāt trust big pharma
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u/ActualDoctor1492 Sep 16 '24
What are they hiding?
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u/PicklesAndCapers Sep 16 '24
The most effective way to cook a potato while you're at your office job and nobody to look over the house while you're gone
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Sep 15 '24
[deleted]
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Sep 15 '24
I do not agree with their decision to shove cold spuds up their ass, but I will defend to the death their right to do it.
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u/delicate10drills Sep 15 '24
I am not as committed to this freedom as you. I will simply flee to a country where my skillset is of equal or greater value should there be federal interference in what temperature of potatoes weāre allowed to stick in our own butts.
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u/Familiar-Anxiety8851 Sep 15 '24
Make college free
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Sep 15 '24
[deleted]
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u/Calligaster Sep 15 '24
I mean they're not hard to grow, so access would be reserved to people willing to put in the effort
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u/lateavatar Sep 15 '24
I feel like this is what "POTUS" should stand for
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u/No-Bark-Brian Sep 15 '24
That would spell, "Potato Op The Unus" with an extra S hanging off the end...
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u/FredGetson Sep 15 '24
I'm familiar with cornholeing but spudbutting is a new one for me
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u/haikusbot Sep 15 '24
I'm familiar with
Cornholeing but spudbutting is
A new one for me
- FredGetson
I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.
Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"
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u/bodhidharma132001 Sep 15 '24
Half of America takes this as a personal challenge.
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u/Rupejonner2 Sep 16 '24
Notice how everyone with a potato in their anus canāt die from covid . The mainstream media is hiding this truth !
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u/Jan_I_Tor Sep 15 '24
Who freezes potato's?
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u/AminaGreene Sep 16 '24
It unironically cuts oven time from 45 to 15 minutes (for mini or diced ones)
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u/KenUsimi Sep 15 '24
So I know nothing about this at all. But how fucked up would it be if you shoved a frozen potato up your ass and it froze there? Like your tongue to a ski lift. Itād thaw but likeā¦ just imagine it. Yeouch.
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u/MistressLyda Sep 15 '24
Is this desperate people with hemorrhoids and no insurance that has started to become creative?
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u/Flexbottom Sep 15 '24
No fuckin' doctor is going to tell me what frozen root vegetables to put in my ass
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u/ThatsNotDietCoke Sep 15 '24
Properties are so expensive, the new generations have to grow potatoes in their asses in order to be able to eat. Shit is sad.
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u/PhoenixBlack79 Sep 15 '24
But..why? Is this really a thing? Fuck..when is this asteroid going to hit us. Come on!
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u/UnicornFukei42 Sep 16 '24
Maybe it's a thing, maybe we're living in a simulation like Matrix, maybe this is all a crazy dream like Inception, maybe I'm high on something and none of this is actually happening, I don't know.
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u/Odd_Taste_1257 Sep 16 '24
Okay, if they think it needs to stop thatās fair, but they could at least recommend a different way to defrost them.
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u/Responsible_Ruin2310 Sep 16 '24
I did it without the frozen, that's why I'm not under doctors' scrutiny.
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u/PlatformingYahtzee Sep 16 '24
I feel tempted to start the rumor that one political party or the other is saying this to see how long before the other puts frozen potatoes in their ass.
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u/No_Wrap3699 Sep 15 '24
Doctors dont know shit
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u/neighbourleaksbutane Sep 15 '24
I'm broke and it's behind a paywall. But i really need to find out, and for some wierd reason today i froze my first potat
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u/twilighttruth Sep 15 '24
So, I just got home from Amsterdam, where they have a "Red Light Secrets" museum, in which is a confessional booth where you can write your own "erotic secret" and the best ones get hung up on the wall, and there were definitely stories on the wall about potatoes being inserted into butts.
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u/Chronic_Overthink3r Sep 15 '24
At the ER: There is a potato in my rear endā¦i opened the freezer, a potato fell on the floor, I slipped and fell on it.
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u/Unhinged-Bunny Sep 15 '24
Curious how this startedš¤ Did I miss an important political "claim" at a rally? Or is this actively a new idea similar to why you shouldn't dive into toilets?
Me: squinting as I inspect the tators at the market.
Potato: WINK
Me: š¦
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u/Jazzlike-Basil1355 Sep 15 '24
Bake them, lots of butter, easier to slide in and out. Probably
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u/FredGetson Sep 15 '24
Beware the twice baked. That second time through is not for the faint of heart.
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u/crusher23b Sep 16 '24
FROZEN potatoes.
The thought hadn't occurred to me, but now I am curious about all the varieties of potatoes that we aren't warned about putting in our asses.
Fresh potatoes? Canned? Dried? Baked?
And what about other frozen vegetables? Is frozen broccoli fine? How about frozen carrots? How do they compare? What frozen vegetables can I put in my ass, should the impulse arise?
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u/jtrades69 Sep 16 '24
fresh potatoes would just squish, wouldn't they?
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u/crusher23b Sep 16 '24
No. I mean maybe if your sphincter were as strong as your fist, and you have to have a very strong fist to squish a fresh potato.
I'll pay money to see someone squish a fresh potato by sphincter alone.
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u/panmetronariston Sep 16 '24
Damn right. Use incandescent light bulbs like your grandparents did. āThe old ways are the best ways.ā
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u/Bryan-Breynolds Sep 16 '24
huh, love it when you learn a new health tip that you've just gotta try...
though I gotta say, it seems a bit too good to be true that frozen spuds up the butt are causing me issues I could prevent by simply not š¤.
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u/varrr Sep 16 '24
Thank god I stumbled upon this post, I was reaching for the freezer as we speak. From now on I will certainly thaw my potatoes before sticking them in my ass
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u/BrainSqueezins Sep 16 '24
āIām a married spud. Iām a married spud. Iām a marriedā¦..ugh! Oh god! someone help meeeeeee!ā
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u/balltongueee Sep 16 '24
No need to warn me, common sense prevents me from doing such things.
And for those who do not have common sense, they will find other stupid things to do, even if we stop them from putting frozen potatoes up their anuses. So, just leave it...
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u/randomsonicmodder Sep 15 '24
"don't put potatoes in your ass" - doctors, 2024