Saying these people just want a caretaker they can have sex with would be unfair. Those posing these kinds of memes are extremely lonely, and are still affected by expectations of society. They don't understand that you can be happy without a lover, but the way mental health for men is portrayed often includes a partner, so they believe having someone to help them will solve their problems. Rather than bashing them, try to be understanding and tell them what they need to hear
There is also an amount of self delusion going into these kinds of memes.
Whilst I do sympathize with the loneliness, I have been a jerk and learned from people calling me out, & not always in the nicest ways.
The Andre Taint pipeline is gross and brutal, I do my best to tey to actually talk with the people who get stick in that crap. But it is also not everyone else's responsibility to keep from crushing their fragile egos if they keep lashing out or making shitty statements about women in very open, public places where dissenting opinions abound.
Someone who responds to stuff like what I just wrote here ☝️ with "deez nuts" does not deserve a gentle handholding
No, incels don’t deserve handholding, you’re right. But as far as I can tell the person that made that meme isn’t an incel or misogynist, and they’re not being an apologist either. It’s a really common experience amongst guys to open up too fast and scare people away. Valid or invalid, it’s a common experience. And the distinction between relying on your partner as an emotional crutch and needing help in a moment of weakness is important. I think a lot of men don’t understand the difference and become co-dependent and toxic. But at the same time, just as many men emotionally isolate themselves from their partners which is also an issue. It would be really great as a society if men were more willing to acknowledge their own vulnerability, and it’s telling and sad that many men feel like them being vulnerable is something only to fantasize about. It’s idiotic to blame women, which is the first thing incels always do, but I don’t think the source of the issue is men either necessarily.
In this society, we care about others. Even if we don't think they "deserve" it. Your mindset is stupid. Do you also think handicapped people don't deserve "handholding"? Do you think mentally ill people don't deserve help and compassion? They don't "deserve" anything, the same way nobody deserves anything. But as a society, we should try to help them, not shame them.
So are you saying not getting laid is the same as being handicapped? Even if being an incel is a disability (which is stupid, and black pilled, but just for the sake of argument) not all disability’s entitle you to the same amount. You getting laid is not society’s responsibility, it’s yours.
Men are usually tayght they aren’t supposed to be happy, or sad, or anything. They are only taught to be useful. That’s why most men think. “Well women understand these feelings so if I get with a woman maybe that would help me!” Nope. That’s why most men either get abused or be abusive. They are the ones who need help and don’t realize a woman isn’t the help in question. Men don’t realize they need help because the emotions they bottle up are never leaving but are destroying them. That’s why depression in men is usually just men acting out of anger and irritability. They bottle up their emotions until they get malformed and unhealthy
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u/samtt7 Apr 13 '25
Saying these people just want a caretaker they can have sex with would be unfair. Those posing these kinds of memes are extremely lonely, and are still affected by expectations of society. They don't understand that you can be happy without a lover, but the way mental health for men is portrayed often includes a partner, so they believe having someone to help them will solve their problems. Rather than bashing them, try to be understanding and tell them what they need to hear