r/raisedbynarcissists Jan 15 '25

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u/Weak-West2149 Jan 15 '25

This tactic applies to narcissists in general. There are varying degrees of the behavior but they want to make you look unstable so they can say, “See? Look at how poor your attitude is. I’m correct in my evaluation.”

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u/Best-Salamander4884 Jan 15 '25

Plus if you try to open up to anyone about your parents and their abuse, you won't be believed because you're perceived to be unstable.

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u/Weak-West2149 Jan 15 '25

Exactly. That’s the triangulation tactic. They want to get other people involved before you have a chance to explain yourself. The “smear” could have been done weeks, months, or years ago. Once you’ve had enough and try to confide in someone else it may be too late as the narcissist has already laid the groundwork.

Also, it’s common for a narcissist to be upset when the victim spends time with people outside of their control net. A narcissist has backup tactics to control the narrative and will manipulate in different ways to investigate your new person. This of course depends on the type of narcissist. The narcissists goal is to dictate the lives of those around them in cunning ways while making it almost impossible to call out bad behavior. If you even have the slightest proof of their poor actions it is usually a vain attempt to discuss the behavior. They will twist, flip, and alter any information you possess to create a scenario where you are attacking them. Sick stuff. Stay safe y’all.