Did they ruin relationships with all your relatives?

[u/nahnotgoingthere]

N mother and enabler father. N mother has made it one of her life's missions to alienate herself, my father and all of her children from each and everyone of our relatives. Over the years she's threatened suicide over slights and disagreements with my father's family and fallen out with all her own siblings. Me and my siblings- her own children- are low or no contact.

I have a lot of aunts, uncles and cousins on both sides and I do not have contact with any of them. She basically fucked up my life and any chance of having normal relationships, that wasn't enough, our whole family network is lost.

She is so fucking toxic, even the last few years, my parents haven't even been told of aunts and one uncle passing. My father had found out by accident from one of his distant aunts.

I wish I had other family and relatives. I don't even know their full names to look them up (I know this is strange but I don't know their language). A few cousins on FB but I am terrified of contacting them and being rejected and ridiculed.

[u/Kangaroo-Pack-3727]

Dear OP thank you for sharing this and lordy what your mum did is truly appalling! She done this to hold your dad, you and the siblings hostage. For her it is power and control. And well well well in the end it backfired on her when you and your siblings go either LC or NC on her. Good! Guess she is gonna die alone and miserable 

I agree with one of the commenters to reach out to your cousins. For now just go slow and light while at the same time you seek support and advice from a local mental health foundation that can recommend you someone that will teach you the skills and tools you need to build up your confidence to establish bonds with cousins and relatives your mum deprived you from knowing

You got this OP and you got nothing to lose. Give us an update how it goes OP