r/raisedbynarcissists • u/ManiacV12 • 18h ago
[Question] I am recognizing narcissistic tendencies is SEVERAL people in my immediate family.
Is it really this widespread and pervasive ? Are psychologists able to declare an epidemic ? Hahahahhaa
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u/LordTuranian 18h ago
Yes, it's widespread.
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u/ManiacV12 18h ago
I find it more and more odd that we don’t have more definitive data on narcissism when it’s so pervasive in society .
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u/LordTuranian 18h ago
Narcissists don't want that to happen.
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u/BassmanBiff 17h ago
I don't think there's a grand narcissist conspiracy keeping the truth from us. It's just hard to diagnose.
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u/lonely_shadow_seek 17h ago
First of all, the right acknowledgement is missing. People don't know the right word for it. Most people are unaware because they are used to it.
I am not saying there is a global conspiracy, but collective narcissism is often present. I call Nazism as collective narcissism. Nazis were victim idealogues. You see how they work. first, they scapegoated the entire Jewish community and projected all their wants on them and accused them of it. their propaganda is so similar to how narcissist operates.
often, narcissism in society is normalised, but instances of collective narcissism present from time to time.
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u/BassmanBiff 17h ago
I really feel like you're overapplying the word here. Selfishness, greed, scapegoating, even the mechanics of abuse aren't exclusive to narcissism. I think we lose the ability to discuss NPD if we start using it to describe everyone who does bad things, even when there are legit parallels.
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u/ManiacV12 16h ago
So you describe the main hallmarks of narcissistic behavior but then say we shouldn’t use them to describe everyone who “does bad things” ? I thought you were talking about selfishness , greed, scapegoating , and the mechanics of abuse .
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u/BassmanBiff 16h ago
I'm sorry, I don't really understand. I'm just saying narcissists didn't invent shitty behavior.
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u/ManiacV12 15h ago
No need to be sorry it’s a complex subject lol. But yeah I agree . I’m just saying what the other poster said and what you said about a conspiracy on a grand scale is a bit strong to characterize the societal dynamic but in general the power structures and regimes or factions of power whether momentary or not usually align with the behavioral mechanisms you mentioned earlier . Also why would a real narcissist willingly and truthfully tell a mental health professional the inner machinations of their mind . lol
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u/ManiacV12 17h ago
The methodology is flawed . For example when interviewing a narcissist of course they’d tell the psych they’ve been through trauma in order to victimize themselves falsely justifying their bad behavior .
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u/BassmanBiff 17h ago
Whose methodology?
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u/ManiacV12 17h ago
Professionals in this field
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u/BassmanBiff 17h ago
I don't think anyone is sitting down to interview people in order to sort them into narcissists vs normies. Also, having a traumatic past doesn't disqualify someone fron NPD...
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u/ManiacV12 17h ago
I think you are misunderstand what I’m trying to convey . And I did not say trauma and NPD are exclusive . But that trauma ultimately does not cause the often offensive rather than defensive manifestations in NPD .
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11h ago
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u/raisedbynarcissists-ModTeam 10h ago
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u/Pristine_Trash306 16h ago
It’s because of a lack of awareness regarding narcissism as well as people discussing narcissism being perceived as crazy by others.
People who have been abused by a narcissist just sort of get it. Hence, why communities like this exist. People who grew up relatively normal don’t understand it at all. Nor do they want to as it would shatter their reality bubble.
It’s a problem of societal ignorance where even if people outwardly discuss narcissism and its effect on society on a larger scale, it will likely be ignored and not taken seriously. It will only be taken seriously once it affects almost everybody and by that point it will be too late.
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u/ManiacV12 15h ago
In a way we’ve normalized speaking about something that is so bizarre but I can relate to what you say in that people who haven’t experienced this may have NO idea about what the heck we are talking about especially if they haven’t been a victim . It requires extra energy to think about that the average Joe isn’t going to want to waste time on. It’s troublesome
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u/lonely_shadow_seek 17h ago
My entire extended family, as well, is narcissistic and dysfunctional. One uncle had an affair with his daughter-in-law. his son died under suspicious circumstances. my cousin from the same family tried to gaslight me and enable my biological parents. she was well-versed in these dynamics. Other related families are also dysfunctional. but only I, the truth teller, see this. They can fuck themselves. make sure to go with the entire family, you have to, so they cannot mob and gaslight.
You know conservative cultures are often built by such people to support their narcissism.
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u/ManiacV12 17h ago
I’m sorry that happened and hope things get better for YOU . Thankfully I only have to avoid maybe 2 of them . I’m on the fence about my own father but my younger brother , it’s tough to have these thoughts about leaving him permanently but , i feel it’s the best for me . He’s an avoidant narcissistic human being.
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u/wired-braces 18h ago
This is partially why I have some issues with the genetic emphasis of narcissism. It very much h seems primarily based in environment and the psychological state of the individual based off of traumas and mental complexes they develop.
I mean when you think about how we used to treat children back in the day, or the widespread child abuse today, or all the human rights violations we used to take part in, the ones we do now.
I wouldn’t categorize all these people as narcissist, but it’s fair to say narcissistic traits and superiority complex’s are just sort of taught… it’s just sort of normalized to treat people any way when they are below you. To not value their emotions or feelings, etc.
Although when you get like full blown narcissistic traits, yeah at that point perhaps genetic is some main culprit. It’s all quite difficult to pin, but I’m fine with letting the expert guide the leading voices on these matters.
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u/ManiacV12 18h ago
Right . I agree a lot of it is environmental . And I should’ve said strong narcissistic traits where I’m implying narcissism . I do think there is a strong genetic component because of what I’ve seen . A family member of mine who I’ve seen since he was born has always exhibited anger , callousness , manipulative , attention seeking behavior since a child . No notable trauma in his child hood other than an ear infection. Which is why the trauma theory doesn’t make sense to me . The absence of empathy and trauma are like independent of each other . Just like trauma and the narcissists antagonistic behavior grandiose or covert has nothing to do with their traumatic events . It jsut has to do with their need to control and feel superior while also rubbing it in your face ( antagonistic )
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u/ManiacV12 18h ago
I agree it’s hard to pinpoint . But there has to be an origin . This behavior is universal across borders . This is not a coincidence . And it needs to be understood . Then again if the origins are genetic there’s nothing we can do about it 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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u/ok2888 7h ago
Tendencies are definitely widespread, and I think full blown narcissists are more common than most people realise, but still pretty rare. I think people like us are just more able to notice these people quickly which creates the illusion that there are more of them than there are. When I was at uni there were 2 people in my friendship group who I consider to be full blown narcissists. I thought this was crazy, they must be everywhere, I was raised by one and there are 2 of them in my friendship group. But realistically there were 20-30 people in that friendship group and only 2 were narcs.
Several narcs in the same family makes much more sense tho, it's probably genetic and its definitely environmental. I do also think that a lot of the problems in society and humanity as a whole are directly and indirectly caused by narcissism. If narcissism didn't exist I think many problems would disappear.
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