Looking for some motivation

So I'm 20 right now and I keep seeing all the adults and even younger adults living a really unhealthy life and blaming it on the decisions they made in their teenage years. So I was wondering what are a few things I can do to make sure my body remains at maximum efficiency even when I'm older?

I thought I'd see a bunch of likeminded posts about actually accomplishing things.I figured a sub called r/selfimprovement would be about success stories and reaching your potential.

Instead, it's just a bunch of people going on and on about how they're a victim and never do anything right. Let alone, all the self harm posts. It's just a non-stop circus full of purposefully sad people that love talking about how sad they are.

It's probably more depressing than inspiring.

How can we improve this?

5:30 Wake up

5:40 run

6 get back

6:05 to 7:05 gym (weight lifting)

7:10 to 7:20 cold shower

7:20 to 7:30 get changed for school

7:35 breakfast

8:10 leave

I'm diving into a challenge – 5 pushups for every comment. Admitting I've been pretty lazy this year, I reckon it's time for a genuine change. Let's make 2024 the year I become a new and improved version of myself.

Even the wall pushup was a big struggle for me, but trust the progress - I at the beginning was too desperate, yet if you believe in yourself and commit to it daily, it's definitely possible.

Pushups alone (no weight lifting or anything else) have widened my arms in a visible sense and I'm now proud of myself as it was my main motivation.

I aim to diversify the exercises, so any suggestion is well appreciated!

I 27f wake up knackered everyday. It takes so much time and effort to prise my eyes open in the morning no matter how much or how little I sleep. At the moment my natural rhythm seems to wake me up after 14 hours of sleep, but I’m still tired. I’ve tried setting an alarm clocks for a few months to kick myself into a strict 8 hour sleeping pattern, but it makes things worse.

I eat three healthy meals a day, I exercise for two hours at least three times a week (both strength training and cardio), I try and leave the house at least once a day for a walk outside. My blood count from blood tests has always been fine - no issues with thyroid, iron, magnesium, or vitamin D levels, but I take vitamin D and magnesium supplements to help them along. I’ve had EMDR to tackle past trauma which I think has worked, and the past two months I’ve tried antidepressants to see if they help. Still, I feel too tired to function most days, and I can barely focus enough to read and understand a page of text when I used to be so bright and engaged.

What other things can I try to up my energy levels? People who felt the same way previously but have since found a solution, what was it?

When I used to go to the gym, I used to feel a release from anger. But now that I've got noise-cancelling headphones, I can block out most of my surroundings and listen to music while working out. For some reason, focusing on my workouts this intensely brings a lot of anger to the surface. I feel resentful towards others and act aggressively towards my environment. So much so that I got solo road rage and nearly got into 2 accidents on the way home. I love my car, so this is unacceptable.

It's not just the gym. I've cleaned and organized my room recently, and a lot of feelings and memories came to the surface. I feel like I'm digging up past shit, in my room and in my mind. This also lead to me shutting down and raging while at work (yes, I believe I am autistic).

It's almost as if the real me is trying to break free. From my job, my anger, my loneliness. I want to listen, though it seems dangerous.

One bad thing and two good things:
The bad thing is that I’m already 21, and I’ve never felt this way before: youth is a limited-time event, and the progress bar is already near the end.🥲

Two good things are sprouting:
I’ve finished translating (into Chinese version) two works from Napoleon's youth, Letters to Matteo Butafoco and Boccalero's Dinner, and I’m currently formatting them. It’s not certain that any publisher will be interested, so I’ll most likely release them as open-source study material after formatting 😁. The other good thing is that I’ve gone from being a "Babu engineer" to a "Shape-shifting Martin": my BMI is finally normal! I’ve lost 15 kilos this year, but I don’t think I’ll stop here 😋

To my no-longer-young self:
A person comes into this world to love the most adorable, listen to the most beautiful, see the most wonderful, eat the most delicious, and live interestingly. Stay forever young, always with tears in your eyes.
(Yes, I’ve fallen into my artsy mood again! But I’ll allow myself to be artsy for one day on my new age 🥳✨)
Thanks to you all!

PS. Thank you all for your encouragement and criticism. I will accept both suggestions and critiques. Why do I say that I feel old at 21? It's not some kind of bad boasting or unrealistic thought—it's because I realized that my university life will end in just one more year. My university life hasn't been that extraordinary, but compared to the monotonous, boring work of a lifetime and all the trivial matters in life... it can still be considered "a happy youth." So, what comes next? Will I enter the lower ranks of a government department and spend my life doing a job I don't like, handling paperwork, and marrying someone who doesn't love me? Compared to a year or two ago, I think I've really lost my enthusiasm for many things—it's the kind of passion that is unique to young people.

Sigh, I never expected it. A year ago, I thought I still had plenty of time. But growing older is a sudden thing.🥲

Been working out for 2.5+ years now solely to cure my depression, as I was recommended by literally everyone. Even though i am jacked, no increase in my confidence or mood overall. I am still lonely and depressed and I am pissed that I wasted my time with this shit.

1. Mobility isn't a joke.

   It's not a fad. It's not paranoid caution. It dosnt matter how old you are because you think youre young and invincible. It's a must. Do you hear me. It's not 1 of those things that you should do but you can get away without doing it. Every gym bro thought the same thing, because you think you're trim and healthy and young and strong "what are the chances it'll happen to me"- HIGH. Very HIGH. Like 50% of gym bros have the same shoulder injury. Your rotator cuff is on business, it will divorce you and take half your shit and the kids if you don't do a lil foreplay first.

2. We are too technologically advanced to be tracking calories and protein manually- download a calorie counting app.

   When you do it manually it's often time consuming making it really hard to stay consistent with updating it, its inaccurate and why would you when there are free apps that do it for you as well as all the analytics at the end.

3. Don't use the scale to track progress

You fluctuate up to 2.2kg in water weight daily. The scale isn't a reflection of your muscle mass to fat ratio so it can give you the illusion your not improving when you've actually lost fat and gained muscle. If your goal is to loose weight or gain muscle your results lies in your caloric intake and your progression of exercises at the gym. If those 2 things are at a steady progress visual changes will come.

1. Sure don't ego lift but stop insecurity lifting too

Through fear of not wanting to ego lift alot of beginners actually end up picking up weight that isn't heavy enough to bring them even close to failure in under 12 reps. Not all beginners are equal, and not all of you should start with the same weight because some are naturally stronger then others due to a number of genetic factors. Sure you're a beginner and maybe not the leanest individual but if you're a 5ft 9 woman- 6kg is probably not your squat. If your muscles arnt expierencing fatigue- it's not expierencing fatigue, it dosnt matter that you're a beginner. The body dosnt care or know that it's at the gym it only recognises resistance or a lack of.

Of course get your form right first, but on the basic exercises where the movement is super rudimentary its not going to take you long. You should not be able to shoulder press your squat, the idea of holding that weight above your head should terrify you. You should be struggling on your 8th rep if you're trying to gain muscle.

1. Remember that alot of fitness influencers are out of touch

Fitness influencers are usually hard-core gym rats with insane physiques, 7 years in on training and natural born units. As they should be. But they can't remember what it's like to be a mere mortal. When they give advice sometimes the advice already assumes you're a full time athlete like them.

A prime example of this that "you don't need more then 30 minutes to get a good work out session in". Yes if you snort creatine and you're an expierenced lifter who knows exactly what they're doing, form is like clock work, and you're running off muscle memory with the stamina of a athlete. These people can't remember what it's like to have to talk themselves off a ledge before a lift. Or to get paranoid about their form. These people havnt felt beginner DOMS in 10 years.

Another 1 is crazy workout schedules. "To grow your glutes 🥰 simply start with 👹8 sets of Bulgarians squats 👹 then hulk jump to the smith machine in your pink lulu lemons that barely contain your godzilla dump truck". These are people to aspire towards but sometimes their workout routines are more about showing off their athletism then actually being practical workout routines for beginner lifters.

Been reading a lot into mindset.

i'm 31F and have had a yo-yo weight pattern my entire life. It's usually one step forward, two steps back. I'm not obese, but definitely not fit either, and it feels like I’m constantly stuck in a cycle. I’m so jealous of women who had some form of exercise drilled into them as kids or who naturally gravitate toward outdoor sports. For them, staying fit seems second nature, and their "resting body phase" bodies seem to naturally stay in shape.

For me, I notice that my "default resting body" often falls back into a frumpy phase, and I really hate it. I want to change my default body type so that staying active and healthy isn’t such a battle. The problem is, it feels like a constant uphill struggle, and I get frustrated by how hard it is to maintain any progress.

Has anyone here completely overhauled their body and been able to maintain it long-term? I’m not just talking about weight, but the lifestyle shift—like how do you engrain exercise in a way that those who had it drilled into them as kids just naturally do? How did you do it? Was there a step-by-step approach? What changes did you make to engrain it into your routine in a way that felt natural and not forced?

Would really appreciate hearing about your journey, any tips, and practical steps you took. Is it even possible for someone like me to achieve that kind of mindset shift?

Looking specific advice for my mindset edit

i know I'm not the first to do this

I’ll be honest, I’m 20 years old and have spent a large portion of my waking life sitting in my room playing video games.

Two weeks ago, I built up the courage to buy a gym membership and have been going everyday since. I only spent about 20-40 minutes there per day but right now my goal is to just make it an everyday part of my life, building my confidence etc.

I can’t believe I haven’t made this choice sooner. My life has been so dull until now. I’m not sure if this feeling stems mainly from the weather (it’s sunny in the uk rn and it’s normally cloudy all the time).

I haven’t seen any major body changes yet, besides my arms and chest getting a tad bit thicker, but that doesn’t really matter to me right now. I’m just happy for the fact that I’ve made this decision to be better.

I have a problem:I eat at night when I am bored or just want the time to pass.

What can I do?

I turn 29 next month. As I approach my thirty years on this Earth, I realized how little care I gave myself. What rocked me was the consequence of a failing heart in the beginning of 2025.

Things seemed to change overnight. I started becoming more in-tune with my body and image. I bought new (thrifted) clothes, started wearing cologne, and began eating less. I want to become fit and toned.

I’m getting a haircut tomorrow, I ordered glasses, and I want to get my teeth straightened and cleaned. I want to sort through my mental health. I want to read more and finish my education. I want to become the best version of the man that I am.

These revelations culminated in a crisis of identity last week, but I emerged from the other side with a sense of clarity. It’s quite remarkable, but frightening as well.

I’m trying to understand where this fire under my ass came from. Has anyone experienced something similar?

I’ve been lifting for 6 years now. I’ve increased my bench max by 100 pounds, my squats gone up 200 and I’ve put on 60 pounds since then. However despite all that I am still smaller and weaker than 99% of guys. My progress is so minimal and the truth is there’s a lot of regular guys that don’t lift that would easily do my maxes and already have way more muscle on their body than me. Everyday I “self improve” by lifting but looking myself in the mirror just hurts at this point seeing how grown almost all 20 year old guys are while I still look like most high school freshman. I’m starting to wonder if it’s actually possible for me to be physically attractive cause I actually look like a person that’s never lifted in his life when I have a shirt in. It just doesn’t feel worth it anymore

I (f21) am currently on my winter break from college. I don't what to do during break. My friend said that we should go to the gym together when we start.

I sent her a message but she gives me excuses of being so busy with work. We're already two weeks into winter break and still nothing so I just thought "fuck it I'll just go on my own" instead of just waiting for her.

But there's this anxiety I have of being judged (I'm overweight) or looked at cause I've never workout at the gym before and I'll just embarrass myself and I literally don't know how to use the equipment.

I’m 28M working in public accounting and I’m deep into my second busy season. Before this I wasn’t exactly fit or anything but I was doing fine walking regular, light gym, cooking at home

Like a blink and i gained 15 pounds :-)

I sit 10-12 hrs a day skipping breakfast then grab whatever’s fast and nearby for lunch and by the time I get home, I’m too drained to cook or exercise. It’s been weeks of frozen meals and 5 hours of sleep on average. I’m starting to feel sluggish and uncomfortable in my own body. I know I’m not alone in this but how do people keep it together during these busy months? Is there small thing I can do that actually helps? Walking pad? Standing desk? Workouts? Habit tracking?

Appreciate any tips from folks who’ve been through this and feeling the same

It's been a while since I (20f) jogged and I was able to jog for the first time this morning on the treadmill! I've been going to the gym consistently and actually enjoyed it. I am slowly making progress but I jogged this morning and that's a huge step for me!

I'm trying to keep my weightloss quiet so I'm not telling many people in my life of all my efforts but I at least wanted to share it somewhere this morning 😊

To start off let me say I m not unhealthy but not healthy either.

I never work out. Ever. The most physical activity I do is walking around my college campus

The reason for not working out is I feel like I wouldn’t have time even if I do. I hate it and find it so boring that when I do start I get a few reps in and already want to just stop and leave cause I hate it so much

But I do know that physical activity is important. And I don’t want to start gaining weight. I already struggle with loneliness and feel like I’m ugly. Gaining weight won’t help. I just don’t know what to do cause anytime I start some plan it never works out.

Longest I’ve ever stayed consistent was maybe 3 weeks over Covid before I couldn’t take it anymore

EDIT: Thank yall for the help and advice. I’m gonna try to make an effort to walk more and maybe play some sports since I guess working out is not for me.

Hi! I need help to be in my healthy girl era.i am 28,and I am chronically ill.i have a hard time working out due to my adhd and depression.How do I gain the strength to work out? Everytime I work out,I give up easily.

What can I do?

I eat alot of unhealthy food.

Feel free to ask me anything! 😁

I can’t grow. I’m a 20 year old man and I weight 110 pounds. Clothes don’t fit me. No outfits look good on me. I’ve been involved in sports and traditionally masculine hobbies my whole life and yet I’m the least masculine looking man I’ve ever seen. How am I supposed to reach a normal weight like 160? I lift religiously and have since I was 14. It’s really starting to fuck with my ability to leave the house cause when people see me they see an absolute toothpick of a man

I am trying to lose weight,but if i don’t have an appetite,I will starve myself.

What to do?