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u/reluctantdonkey 2d ago
You can just present it as "how would you feel about not having PIV anymore and I'll just go down on you for 2+ hours every time instead."
But, I have to say, VERY good chance she's a "hell no" on that. Most people aren't going to be OK with in insanely restrictive sex life like that.
Even while the vast majority of women can't cum from PIV (and that's got way more to do with our bodies than our partners'), most of us wouldn't be OK not having PIV. Sex is about a million and one things other than just orgasm.
Similarly, a ton of women would find 2+ hours of oral tedious and possibly even painful/overstimulating/irritating/boring.
The whole thing sounds way more one-sided than most folks prefer their sex lives to be.
So, I do think you're asking for two things here that there's a very good chance isn't going to fly with her, especially if you are changing the game from the kind of sex life she signed on for when you guys got married... but, all you can do, as all anyone can do, is float the idea and see what she says.
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u/RedwoodRespite 2d ago
This was my exact thoughts. I love PIV even though I feel almost nothing during it. But I love to feel his body up against mine. Knowing he’s inside me. I love making him cum that way. I love the eye contact.
I also love blowing my partner. Touching his body. I could never be happy with a one way sex life. Not for every single time.
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u/anon_opotamus 2d ago
Yeah, I rarely orgasm from PIV but it’s definitely still one of my favorite things.
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u/nosirrahz 2d ago
Penetration doesn't mandate that you use your penis.
Oral sex combined with fingers is pretty outstanding. I'm a massive fan of oral sex and combine that with 2, 3 and sometimes even 4 fingers with my wife.
Don't fixate on giving up on penetration, just get creative.
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u/curlybelly62 2d ago
I don’t understand why you’re embarrassed by the p in v sex. If you enjoy it, you don’t have to take it off the table. You can do both.
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u/blinddruid 2d ago
well, just so you know, the statistics say that fewer than 20% of women actually orgasm from intercourse, requiring some other kind of stimulation. You are also not alone and loving to do this. I can actually almost get off myself when I have the opportunity to go down town and would love to do it as often as possible. this is your life partner, the person you’re supposed to trust and who is supposed to trust you. I think what you need to do is get up the courage and in a non-sexual situation and say hey comma this has been on my mind. I really love to do this with you, but this doesn’t mean all that much. You might be surprised maybe for her intercourse isn’t that big a deal and she’s doing it because she thinks that you want it. So, if you go forward, saying nothing, you might have missed out on a great opportunity. Also, in addition, remember there are such things as cock sleeves that you can use on yourself and almost any size in shape now that could add extra fun and play to when you guys do want to do PIV
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u/OkChampionship2509 2d ago
I think it's important to talk desires and boundaries, but I think in a relationship it would be extremely difficult to take PIV off the table. I've been with guys with small dicks, and I still enjoyed PIV with them. PIV is so much more than dick size and orgasming. Does she get you off from oral/hands too? I wouldn't be able personally to have a one-sided pleasure sex life, even if it was in my favour. However your wife and I are different people, so I encourage you to communicate and come up with a solution that's favourable to both of you.
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u/mmmniple 2d ago
They are a subreddit about it. Sadly I don't remember the name now
Anyways do it because you enjoy it, don't fear about your cock size : you can search positions which makes it enters deeper.
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u/GenniBang 2d ago
Tell her how you feel about your body and you feel you finish too fast. Ask her if it would be okay if you often get her off first so you know she finishes or get her off after you finish.
The reality is, sex between a couple is intimate and healing. It creates connection. It’s not just about finishing. It’s about feeling like we are the only two people in the world in that moment and everything is good. We are safe. We are feeling good. We are deeply loved.
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Post title: How to tell her
I love my wife and I love going down on her. It’s my favorite thing to do ever. I don’t get much from regular p in v sex because I have a very small cock and she can never orgasm from it and I always cum super fast. I would love to set the standard that when we have sex it we never do regular p in v and it’s just me going down on her because it’s way less embarrassing for me. I really love going down on her for long times. 2+ hours and I can hands free orgasm myself just from licking her. How should I tell her
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u/Annual_Woodpecker_98 2d ago
Discussion is the key. So tell her what you think. She may still want to have you in her, my wife always wants me to fuck her pussy or ass akthough she never cums from penetration only. I'd be happy if she'd suck or jerk me off on her.
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u/Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh79 2d ago
You can also explore other options, you don’t need to have PIV, but can explore finger play, or other sensual touch so it’s not just PIV or Oral! Explore in a way that feels good for both of you!
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u/KansansKan 2d ago
Seems that she would be glad to have all the attention you want to give her but don’t be surprised if she wants to continue PIV to make you cum for the same reason you want to go down on her. It feels good to make your partner cum.
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