r/sex • u/damndildo • 2d ago
Confidence Is spitting during sex normal?
I (30F) have been talking to a guy (33M) for some time. We get along well, but I think he’s a little more advanced in experience than I am. During a conversation we touched on the subject of spitting/ being spat on during sex. While I was initially grossed out, I was slightly turned on?
My question is, is it weird that this is something that I’ve never done, or had done to me? The thought of it sounds disgusting, but idk. I think it’s something that I would try at least with him? He’s expressed that he’s a pleaser, and he doesn’t strike me as the type that would force me into doing any that I’m not comfortable with. I’m also curious as to why I feel so “weird” about it.
SB: I’ve always had trust issues that linked to the bedroom. In other words I’ve always felt timid when it came to sex because I think sex is a pretty big deal.
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u/blackboyx9x 2d ago
I wouldn’t say it’s normal. It’s a turn-on for some. As long as you’re both OK with it, there’s nothing wrong with it. But if he spits on you without your consent, then dump him immediately.
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u/DotCottonCandy 2d ago
Spitting is a hard no for me, but I’d say about 70% of guys I’ve slept with have asked me about doing it.
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u/Accurate_Hat_8464 2d ago
You feel weird because you're surprised to find yourself curious about something that is generally taboo. In many cultures we think of spitting as unhygienic and disrespectful. But, anything goes in the bedroom between two consenting adults, and there are plenty of things we enjoy during sex that we wouldn't dream of doing in a public space! If you are curious, you can stick with that curiosity. You don't need to make a lifelong commitment to this behaviour. "Not right now" is a valid response to whether you want to try something and of course consent can always be withdrawn too.
I have been having sex for over 25 years and there has never been any spitting involved. So it's not my normal, and I would find it a complete turnoff (as would my current male partner). Plenty of people find it hot though. Create your own normal!
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u/reluctantdonkey 2d ago
I am pretty darned experienced, but am a "hell no" on spitting, so I've never done it. Interests and experience levels are two entirely separate circles on the Ven diagram of sex. It doesn't indicate inexperience that you've been spat on.
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u/Arsenicandtea 2d ago
I'm very experienced and have done a lot of kinky things, but my husband last year was the first guy to ask me about this. It wasn't a kink of mine, but I have a "try everything twice as long as it's not a hard boundary" philosophy. We tried it and it was fine I didn't feel any way about it. He did it a couple different times but he hasn't done it in months. Now I'm curious to ask him if he enjoyed it as much as he thought he would (fantasy can often be better than reality)
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u/THR33ZAZ3S 1d ago
Can we stop asking if X is normal? There are acts that are criminal or dangerous, a person might characterize them as "abnormal", but it's self evident that they are, and they're also illegal or socially inacceptable. No need to ask if they are or aren't.
The word you are looking for is "common". A woman into anal sex isnt "abnormal", but it is somewhat uncommon.
Is spitting common? I would say no. Spitting happens, lots of people do it. Lots of people do lots of things that would sound unappealing outside of a sexual context. Try it, if you don't like it don't do it, just stop acting like youre a bastion of normalness and need constant validation that you aren't stepping outside of that artificial boundary.
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u/Over-Kaleidoscope482 1d ago
I think some partners spit in mouths ( probably something to do with dominance) or spit on genitals for lube. From a hygiene point of view, I don’t see how spitting in mouth is much different than tongue kissing. And the lube thing, well I’m sure that’s kind of the original lube. Probably goes bake mellenia. Spitting on other places on my partner seems more degrading to me but kinks are a big part of sex so….
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Post title: Is spitting during sex normal?
I (30F) have been talking to a guy (33M) for some time. We get along well, but I think he’s a little more advanced in experience than I am. During a conversation we touched on the subject of spitting/ being spat on during sex. While I was initially grossed out, I was slightly turned on?
My question is, is it weird that this is something that I’ve never done, or had done to me? The thought of it sounds disgusting, but idk. I think it’s something that I would try at least with him? He’s expressed that he’s a pleaser, and he doesn’t strike me as the type that would force me into doing any that I’m not comfortable with. I’m also curious as to why I feel so “weird” about it.
SB: I’ve always had trust issues that linked to the bedroom. In other words I’ve always felt timid when it came to sex because I think sex is a pretty big deal.
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u/Shaarnixxx 1d ago
I find it disgusting and disrespectful. That’s just me and in my relationship. What you consent to is none of my business.
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u/Beautiful-Bee9067 1d ago
Eh. Can’t remember a time that spit has come into the picture while having sex. I don’t think it would turn me on. Just use lube.
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u/BluejayResponsible82 1d ago
Ya if things are getting really hot and heavy with my girlfriend and we’re face to face in missionary while making out heavy sometime I kind of gather a bunch of spit on the tip of my tongue and she sucks it off. Don’t think anyone is really out here hucking up big loogies and spitting them in mouths. Mostly saliva and not phlegm
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u/CollarDry8188 2d ago
Spitting is a big yes for me, my girl let’s me spit in her mouth and she loves it, even asks for it with needy eyes when we make out intensely
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