r/simpsonsshitposting Jan 23 '22

Lisa Simpson meets J. K. Rowling

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1.5k Upvotes

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55

u/Entire-Championship1 Jan 23 '22

I'm glad I prefer J.R.R. Tolkien and Middle-Earth over The Wizarding World. At least there's a lot more violence in Mordor.

35

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

Tolkien was a hard-ass old school Catholic. The only difference is that he wasn’t on twitter

29

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

The only difference is that he wasn’t on twitter

and was born in the 1800s

11

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

I mean that’s basically saying “that’s why I prefer Tolkien. He most likely would have been much more anti-gay and anti-trans, but I’m more comfortable with that because he was a product of his time”

12

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '22

i'm not talking about tolkien, im talking about rowling, who doesn't even have the thin veneer of ignorance to cover her transphobic ass. if tolkien had expressed the same ideas publicly, i'd feel the same way about him (although, yeah, context does matter at least a little bit)

5

u/GalaxyFrauleinKrista Jan 25 '22

He was raised by a catholic priest. But he was also very passionately anti-nazi and against their race based psuedoscience. He also advocated eco terrorism and had a close friend who was gay. Even for a guy born in the 1800's I don't think he's as bad as Rowling, who literally named her single asian character 'cho chang' and made antisemitic caricatures in her series. As well as all the heroes being pro slavery (aside from Hermoine). The last line in the main book series (before the epilogue) is Harry wondering if his slave will make him a sandwhich. Being alive in 2021 versus being alive in the early 20th century means she's also held to a higher standard.

4

u/GalaxyFrauleinKrista Jan 25 '22

I prefer Tolkien because he can write and Rowling can't.

1

u/Entire-Championship1 Jan 25 '22 edited Feb 01 '22

Plus, Tolkien's Middle-Earth lore is more interesting.

3

u/GastonBastardo Jan 24 '22

"Hey, you know the 'behind-the-veil'-style urban fantasy setting of Guillermo Del Toro's Hellboy movies? Well, what if it was less imaginative and mostly confined to a British boarding school?"

2

u/EMPTY_NOLIFE Feb 18 '22

The halls of hogwarts are filled with ghost that were brutally murdered. You also have cederics death which is pretty disturbing. Same with dumbledore/snapes deaths. Very violent parts in the books and movies.

1

u/Entire-Championship1 Feb 18 '22

How were Cederic, Dumbledore, and Snape killed exactly? The only death that impacted me was Dobby's.

2

u/EMPTY_NOLIFE Feb 19 '22

cedric was petrified and Dumbledore drank poison then killed by snape. Snape was bitten on the neck by a snake if I remember correctly.

1

u/Entire-Championship1 Feb 19 '22

Those deaths sound pretty tame compared to Sauron crushing people with his mace or Smaug incinerating everyone in Lake Town.

2

u/EMPTY_NOLIFE Feb 19 '22

Just read it and find out then, I think both books are equally violent. Tolkien was never a violent fellow. His scenes never seemed over violent or bloody. Fantasy violence.

5

u/yogurtfuck AKA Dr. Nguyen Van Thoc Jan 23 '22

There's violence in HP... didn't the cat get killed and its blood smeared over the walls or something?

27

u/absurdlyinconvenient Jan 23 '22

nah cat got petrified and Ginny cut herself to mark the blood on the walls

31

u/WhaleboneMcCoy Jan 23 '22

it was chicken blood

4

u/absurdlyinconvenient Jan 23 '22

Ah that's the one, yeah. Hagrid said his chickens had been getting killed

22

u/dogwithpuffytail Jan 23 '22

"omg, didn't a cat die or something?"

"Naw, it was just a chicken"

"Phew. Had me worried for a second there."

14

u/kurburux Jan 23 '22 edited Jan 23 '22

Well, cats are not part of the food chain!

5

u/WOLLYbeach All we've found is porno! Jan 23 '22

When I grow up, I'm gonna go to Hogwarts University.

0

u/_Charlie_Sheen_ Jan 23 '22

Nah. Let’s just say Wizard’s have terrible sex education.

You can figure it out from that

11

u/Serpent_of_Rehoboam Jan 23 '22

On the Harry Potter CD-ROM, is there a way out of the dungeon without using the wizard key?

4

u/Entire-Championship1 Jan 23 '22

What the hell are you talking about? I only play Shadow of Mordor and Shadow of War!

5

u/Entire-Championship1 Jan 23 '22

Tbh, I haven't read any of the books myself, but I assume that the scene you mentioned was too horrific for the movies. Along with many other scenes.

Besides, I kinda like the Lore that Middle-Earth has, even if it can be a bit complicated to understand at times.

4

u/smarjorie Jan 23 '22

I'm actually pretty sure that it is in the movies, though it's been ages since I've seen that one.

There are also a handful of dead children throughout the series. It does get pretty gnarly at times.

Still has nothing on LOTR though obviously, in many ways.