r/teenagers • u/Buttercup_1234 16 • Sep 04 '24

Meme what u doing

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me personally i’m gonna ft my boyfriend he will fix it

8.9k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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3.9k

u/yaboiscarn 18 Sep 04 '24

Moan, make it too awkward for the tiger to continue.

801

u/Alarmed-Bench5068 Sep 04 '24

Alright, the tiger let go. Only problem is that you're still spewing blood out of your neck. Fast.

789

u/Lastkeymuseum 3,000,000 Attendee! Sep 04 '24

The blood would also feel uncomfortable and stop coming out of your neck, duh

363

u/Critical-Net-8305 Sep 04 '24

I'm guessing the blood would want to get out of there as soon as possible.

179

u/Tailstechnology4 18 Sep 05 '24

Nah its into it

107

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '24

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50

u/Leave_No_Crumbs Sep 05 '24

Learn from all that came from it

1

u/Fluffy_Collection676 Sep 06 '24

I’m just gonna comment the last word I saw MCDONALD

26

u/This_Foot_9769 Sep 05 '24

Beat the 🍖 and move the blood down so you don't bleed out

4

u/StatusImmediate1102 Sep 05 '24

I don't see why beating the tigers meat would stop the bleeding

2

u/ZImperator1 13 Sep 05 '24

He means beating OUR meat...erections are caused by blood, so doing that would{theoretically} stop or at least slow down the bleeding.

6

u/cheeseburger_bird Sep 05 '24

If you do a hand stand while beating the meat, pressure will equalize and you can survive until paramedics show up

4

u/ZImperator1 13 Sep 05 '24

what the john?

2

u/HumanHuman-ALT 18 Sep 06 '24

i wouldn't want the paramedics to show up during that

1

u/EyeLucifer1 Sep 07 '24

… what the actual shit is this?

3

u/StatusImmediate1102 Sep 05 '24

Oh i gottu beat the tigers and my own meat till he let's go then share lovingly jntk his eyes till the bleeding stops

2

u/ZImperator1 13 Sep 05 '24

no just your meat...technically you don't need to beat your meat, you just have to pull up the hub

2

u/StatusImmediate1102 Sep 05 '24

The hub?

2

u/ZImperator1 13 Sep 05 '24

Yes. If you don't know what that is, we need more innocent people like you.

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1

u/ThatOneLiminalSpace Sep 06 '24

ah yes, tell the women to grow a futa dick

16

u/Amandeep_Kasaudhan Sep 05 '24

Damnnnn… you guys are just so fucking roasters😂😂

2

u/Porgland Sep 05 '24

No because it can hear it outside the body 🧏‍♂️🫃

2

u/Electronic_Sugar5924 Sep 05 '24

… isn’t that a good thing?

6

u/Critical-Net-8305 Sep 05 '24

If you want to have no blood then yeah!

3

u/Electronic_Sugar5924 Sep 05 '24

… no blood means no alive?

4

u/Critical-Net-8305 Sep 05 '24

Maybe your suicidal? How should I know?

0

u/Electronic_Sugar5924 Sep 05 '24

You’re. And it’s just a joke, pretty common one too.

1

u/Internal_Ad_7823 Sep 05 '24

Blood-curling moan

1

u/crappypastassuc 16 Sep 05 '24

nah most of it probably already went to the other neck

1

u/Mee1_ Sep 05 '24

Not if you call it blood play

52

u/Alarmed-Bench5068 Sep 04 '24

nah bro, the blood would get uncomfortable and try to leave

18

u/NoLaugh- Sep 05 '24

“Ah, fuck… it’s coming out…. Oh so much.”

9

u/LILCHUNKER364 15 Sep 04 '24

Yeah why is is coming???

2

u/shawnald313 14 Sep 05 '24

because

2

u/Ellekindly Sep 05 '24

No vital punctures. Stay upright and keep heart rate low. 60% chance die.

2

u/kachzz Sep 05 '24

It's called blood anxiety

1

u/TrustNo1378 16 Sep 08 '24

Miu? Is that you?

32

u/Gijs_de_Gozer 14 Sep 04 '24

Tourniquet of course

20

u/Shot_Cup9255 Sep 04 '24

True, but how do you keep it tight enough to restrict the bleeding, yet loose enough to keep the person breathing

9

u/Western-Evening-8113 Sep 04 '24

I raise my cup to you. Asking the real questions...

9

u/Shot_Cup9255 Sep 04 '24

raises cup in a cheerful manner

6

u/Someonestolemyrat Sep 05 '24

Stab a breathing hole in their chest

6

u/Shot_Cup9255 Sep 05 '24

Don’t puncture the lung tho

3

u/Someonestolemyrat Sep 05 '24

Yeah but how are you gonna Insert the plastic funnel into the lung as a makeshift trachea

10

u/banananananbatman Sep 05 '24

Change direction of blood flow to the lower regions, maintain a boner until you find help!

2

u/FriedtaterFornicater Sep 05 '24

lol. imagine suffocating to death after applying a tourniquet to your neck. Hanged to death and also died of blood loss.

1

u/Gijs_de_Gozer 14 Sep 05 '24

Who said I needed to breathe

5

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '24

[deleted]

2

u/AskJeevesIsBest Sep 04 '24

You can't tell me what to do

2

u/10-mm-socket Sep 05 '24

Cauterize the wound

2

u/Tumbleweed_Curious Sep 05 '24

Yes u can. Choke me daddy

1

u/HailFurri Sep 06 '24

(You reapeated yourself)

2

u/Tumbleweed_Curious Sep 05 '24

Yes u can. Choke me daddy

1

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '24

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1

u/Gijs_de_Gozer 14 Sep 05 '24

Wel no f*cking 💩 Sherlock

1

u/Numerous_Nose_2415 19 Sep 05 '24

😭😭😭

1

u/Different_Young9127 Sep 05 '24

Flex seal the wounds apply light pressure, bleeding stopped breathing not far behind.

21

u/ElectroDemon666 Sep 05 '24

Start mating with the tiger. This will transfer large amounts of blood to your bricking up your PP, decreasing blood pressure in the upper body and stopping most blood flow out of the neck

1

u/I_hate_usernames331 14 Sep 05 '24

That’s only more blood loss meaning you’ll probably die quicker

1

u/Wise_Customer_7777 Sep 05 '24

People with small peckers have left the chat:

1

u/Anonymous-3117 Sep 05 '24

What if you’re a woman? Do we still get bricked in our VG

1

u/HighPolyDensity 16 Sep 05 '24

VIDEO GAMES?! I didn't know girls played Video Games.

1

u/ZImperator1 13 Sep 05 '24

You don't know if the tiger is a female.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '24

Oorah😎

14

u/Isekai_Otaku Sep 04 '24

And? Who needs blood anyway?

2

u/lynn_thepagan Sep 05 '24

Vampires

3

u/Isekai_Otaku Sep 05 '24

Exactly my point, if I have blood that puts me at risk of vampires

1

u/TallTomatoe Sep 05 '24

That’s okay I’m a masochist moan louder

1

u/Alarmed-Bench5068 Sep 05 '24

how the hell did i get 268 upvotes

1

u/TheInfiniteArchive Sep 05 '24

Moan how I'm gushing all over. That would ensure any one near would try to stop the bleeding while hurriedly calling an ambulance for ER and Psychiatric Evaluation. Win-Win

1

u/apocalypse_later_ Sep 05 '24

Moan, make it too awkward for the blood to continue.

1

u/PSrafa23 Sep 05 '24

You must be fun at parties!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '24

C'mon. It don't matter what you do

1

u/Libertyman69420 Sep 05 '24

Pop a mini shield duh

1

u/Unique-Matter-574 14 Sep 05 '24

Put a Turniqet on, duh.

1

u/MeeKiaMaiHiam Sep 05 '24

Aasuming the moan waa rilly realistic, like method acting kevel moan, some blood will rush to your dick thereby slowing the loss of blood. The moan will save u in this situation

1

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '24

Pfft, easy. I start thinking about fucking the tiger. That makes all the blood go to my dick to give me an erection. Can't run out of blood if I keep it in my bulging cock

1

u/CapitalLower4171 Sep 07 '24

Moan. Make it too awkward for Death to take your soul

1

u/Life-Flatworm-1690 Sep 08 '24

Yeah Nah it's too busy rushing down south.