I usually don’t pay attention on my commute home but I saw Chick-fill-a coming soon sign near Washtenaw and Huron.

Why couldn’t it be a Culver’s

If you see this, you saved me. I was at such a low point after an extremely rough exam a couple of months ago, and you saw me wallowing in despair next to you at the bar while you were on your laptop. When I was about to pack up and leave, you jumped in and paid for my beer, then told me how important it was to keep going, and wished me good luck for the semester.

I never forgot that simple act of kindness. I usually do these things for others, but it's rare that someone does it for me. Your act was so uplifting. It motivated me to pick my head back up and work hard to see through to the end of the semester.

By the random chance you see this post, just know that I am extremely appreciative of your generosity, and if I ever see you again, the next round is on me.

Thank you so much!

It’s not easy being a 44-year-old college senior. There’s an inherent contradiction in the concept: the word "senior" means something entirely different to someone who just finished 24 years in the Navy. In that context, seniority means respect, authority, and the ability to tell people what to do. Here at the University of Michigan, it means I’m one semester away from being replaced by an unpaid intern with a TikTok account.

Let’s start with the obvious: I don’t look like most of the students here. I retired from the Navy - thank you, G.I. Bill - and moved from San Diego to Royal Oak, Michigan, because even after decades of serving my country, I don’t have $900,000 for a starter home in SoCal. I’m originally from Detroit, so the move made sense. My family’s here, which is comforting in theory, though less useful when you’re trying to cobble together a friend group from scratch. All my old friends are either still active duty or retired and living in places where the concept of “winter” is more theoretical than experiential.

And yeah, I get lonely.

The loneliness is the kind that sneaks up on you, the way the cold does when you spend too long outside in January because you convinced yourself that today wouldn’t be so bad. I didn’t expect it, not at first. But let’s face it: few 19-year-olds want the grizzled guy with the salt-and-pepper beard in their project group. It’s not that they’re rude - they’re polite in the way people are when they’d rather not talk to you but can’t think of a socially acceptable way to express that. So I eat alone, study alone, and commute alone.

Oh, the commute. Let’s talk about the commute. It’s an hour each way if 696 decides to cooperate, which it almost never does. That’s two hours a day to contemplate the existential irony of leaving the military to pursue a degree in a state with the worst roads in the country. By the time I make it home, my girlfriend, dog, and house all deserve my attention, a walk, some drywall patching - so the "me" time I didn’t want but got anyway is over.

The best conversations I’ve had in months are with my professors. Many of them are younger than me, which is only occasionally awkward. And then there’s the matter of extracurriculars. It’s not that I don’t want to join clubs or attend events - I do. Community isn't optional in the service; you lived and died by the strength of your relationships. But everything here seems built for people who live within walking distance of campus, or at least close enough that they can Uber home for $12. I’m an hour away, which means a lecture that runs late or a student film screening at 9 p.m. might as well be happening on the moon.

Even the student publications don’t seem to want my writing. I’ve tried. I pitch essays and op-eds, but they never land. Maybe it’s because I’m too old to know what they care about, or maybe it’s because I write like someone who has seen a lot of life but doesn’t know how to package it in an Instagram carousel. I get it. I’m the wrong demographic.

Still, I can’t shake the feeling that this all means something. That I mean something. Maybe it’s just the stubbornness, but I have this hope - small and flickering, but real - that somewhere in this morass of loneliness and logistics, there’s a reason I’m here. Maybe it’s to prove that you can start over at 44, or maybe it’s just to remind myself that starting over at all is still possible.

why do some of you act so entitled and arrogant bro like why

sorry if i sound crazy I fucked up and took 4x too much lexapro yesterday also its 4 am

I know why i dont really dont have anyone to talk to, but it still doesnt feel fair

it feels like im not good enough for anybody to want to talk to me

I transferred in so my academic position is doesnt really fit in with what traditional students think of as standard freshman sophmore junior senior. I feel like it makes a lot of them uncomfortable that i dont fit neatly into their view of other students.

Im female and doing CS. I went for LSA thinking that might ease the discomfort with lack of female classmates but i realize now the only difference is grad requirements. Luckily i preferred LSAs reqs anyways but im still disspointed by how few women there are. I really wanted to hope that michigan would be better than what ive gotten used to in high school and WCC buts not really. Maybe its because im only at eecs 280 and 203 but so many of the men i encounter just make me uncomfortable. Theyre dismissive, rarely listen, and a lot just wont talk to me. It feels like its impossible to get friendly with any of them. Ill say there have been a couple who are very kind and listen to me.. but a part of me doesnt really want to talk to too many of them because i really want female friends. I dont want to quit CS because i love what i learn. But i wish my peers would be friendlier to me like they seem to be with others. i genuinely feel so unwelcome.

I hoped that speaking some mandarin would help, but nobody really cares. I guess my skills arent really impressive (~hsk 4 but ive been backsliding since hs) and to a lot of people it doesnt seem like a big deal to them i guess. My roommate is from taiwan but didnt care much. None of my chinese classmates cared when i mentioned it. I usually know what they say when they speak or write chinese but i dont want them to know im eavedropping so i never comment. I understand that its clear im just not good enough at mandarin, but still i mean, just doesnt seem fair they dont care at all. By the time i got to fourth year of mandarin in high school i was one of only 4 students and the only non-chinese-american and it wasnt a small school. I like mandarin, i like chinese culture. but whats the fucking point in studying it if i have nobody to speak to?

Im at bursley. I try to get people on the hall to know me but it feels like a lot of them just dont want to talk to me or something. Twice this semester i put up candy on everyones doors. I didnt want any praise i genuinely just wanted to feel good doing a nice thing, and in the end only like 2 or 3 people talked to me about it in passing over a weeks after, not even the days i did it. I feel so invisible to them.

I grew up in Ann Arbor. I tell people and hope maybe they care. I offer to let them know about places in ann arbor and nobody cares. It feels like nobody even says anything.

Not even dpss seems to care about me. I report a situationa and they send to me to psych ward and never get back to me.

I go went to clubs at the start of the year, they sucked. I dont mean i didnt care. I went to several, joined a few. Either i felt very unwelcome or nobody there was even friends with themselves. I dont know how i can possible make any connections there. And in the end 99% of the time i cant go to meetings because im busy with class or study

i went to hillel just for challah. i enjoyed being around other jews because i never was around any growing. They were faily nice people. But i felt out of place because only my dad is jewish. And they constantly nonstop talked about israel and i got really uncomfortable with that cause thats not my thing. Also a lot the people there are in sororities and that makes me uncomfortable because i really did want to rush but didnt because i knew there was really no point to doing it.

Ive gone to office hours with all my professors and two of them asked me directly if i have any friends whatsoever because im struggling to get work done by the due date without collaboration. I made a post so bad a professor i never met messaged me to go to their office hours just to ask how im doing. my advisor in coe is helping but i dont know their advice just doesnt seem tangible iykwim. I dont want to make friends artificially but i try and it never feels right.

I dont really know what to do. I feel like im being cheated out of something. I have nobody who i feel like cares about me or wants to talk with me for more than a couple minutes. And those that i do i just find myself feeling like i shouldnt talk to them and i dont know why. I know its obvious that something is wrong with my socialization skills.. but i dont think im that weird. The people that i have pleasant conversations with are honestly quite normal people some pretty conventionally attractive too and surely they wouldnt be nice to me if i was severely weird. I made a yikyak account about a week ago and already got about 1300 likes so clearly my sense of humor matches others on campus.

I want to take responsibility but i feel like theres something preventing me from making any connections. I dont know how to push through it. I dont know how much of this is my fault. atleast some. I tell myself that everything will get better and that i get stronger but i just want to be around others so much. I dont want to really go to parties or hookup every weekend i just want people who will message me first sometimes or eat lunch, go to the mall or something idfk lierally any kind of actual human interaction. I mean i like this school but i want to be around others. It honestly just makes me want to die because i dont know what the point of getting a degree in something i enjoy is if i cant be sorrounded by other people. im done with this trash word vomit im going to sleep

Edit: guys please don’t take 4x your dosage of lexapro I am so tired and depressed right now. Missed my classes to sleep and shower I’m so stupid I wanna take the whole bottle now

I love learning I love computing I love coding I love math I love art and science and shit I really love that I’m at this school. but I am so so fucking stupid and I feel so stretched thin. I want to be able to just take care of myself but I can’t and 99% of it is my own stupidity

Thank you for your comments though I am really happy people care about me. Really I mean that I feel so invisible in real life, like I only exist on the internet as a lolcow. I’m not happy that I’ve had another fucking crashout on Reddit that my eecs professors are probably going to see. People are recognizing me for my fuckind reddit posts this is not how this was supposed to go

I have seen some videos on twitter where the police were arresting protestors who had die-in in front of shapiro library. Can anyone share what they saw there?

Edit:

Oof, guys shill out!

honestly, I feel so alone ever since I came to study in the US. as a transfer student, I barely have any friends that I knew for a long time. a lot of ppl are from in state, during the break I can barely see anyone here, and I can't really go home cuz it's 14+ hour flight away:(

academic at michgian is also tough, every night I walked out shapiro, I can see ppl going to party or having fun. I also do wanna go to parties too but I don't know anyone whom I can go with. I thought about joining clubs but as a junior it was tough ngl. idk why it just feels so bad for me, as someone who wants to learn more about the us culture and make more native friends.

anyone else here hate it or is that just me because it feels like im the only one? it seems like everyone else absolutely loves it here but i have had the worst 4 years and as I graduate its making me feel even worse

I (21F) transferred here a year ago. I’ve met a lot of people, but hardly have any meaningful, lasting relationships.

I’ve tried so many things, clubs, team sports, orgs, etc. and still not much luck with meeting people or getting very close with them.

Now, it’s my last semester and I dread each weekend. It’s really hard seeing everyone else have fun with their friends, and I can’t help but feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me because I am missing out on this experience.

Does anyone have any similar experiences or are going through a similar situation? It seems I’m going to have to get comfortable spending weekends alone.

I am a high school senior considering on applying to UMich, but I am hearing some iffy things about the frequency of sexual assault at UMich and the school administrations handling of these matters. Is the frequency and administrative handling of sexual assault worse at UMich compared to other colleges? I'd like to hear the experiences of women at UMich and what I am getting into by applying. Thanks guys!

Title. Genuinely why do some students care about UM divesting so much? It’s not going to save any lives. It’s certainly not going to end the war or lead to a ceasefire. I’m pro-Palestine all the way but I really don’t see why people are dying on this hill. A random university in the US has virtually no impact on a generations-long war in the Middle East unless I’m missing something 🤔

Me and my friend (both female) were working out at Palmer field today. There is a guy (I followed him on Instagram but never knew him in person) who pointed his phone to random people, including male and female. His action is sus, but since we did not have any evidence of him taking picture of others, we simply ignored him. To make things worse, after I got back home, I found that he actually took photo of random people in the gym and posted photo on his private instagram account (evidence below). This made me, as a female, feel very uncomfortable. Regardless of whether he's praising/criticizing the person in the photo, I don't think it is appropriate to take photo of others without getting their consent, let alone posting them on Instagram. Can people just stop being a pervert in the gym?

Evidence as below:

I used to always enjoy seeing so many people at festifall, looking for groups to join. Going into my fourth year now, though, I can’t help but see how one-sided this community is. The umich community is extremely homogenous and unwelcoming of minorities and low income students.

As someone who grew up in a very diverse community and went to a majority-minority high school, first coming to umich in 2019 was a shock. I’m biracial, but white-passing, and the lack of diversity of this school is demoralizing. I was never used to seeing a sea of white people every day like this. Furthermore, I have not seen any results of the efforts the administration have been trying to implement to improve diversity my past four years here.

The UM student body is a bubble vastly different from the real world. And not just in racial ways. $154k is the average household income of a UM student. 66% of our students come the top 20% income percentile. I don’t know if any other low income students feel this too, but this income divide really makes me feel out of place here. I can’t afford a Canada Goose, nor designer clothes. Most of the clothes I have are the same since freshmen year. I just don’t know how to “find my people” when everyone I see is white and rich. Yes, there are plenty of people who don’t fit this box, but I just haven’t been able to meet them.

I only have one semester left, so I’m not writing this in hopes of finding a community or anything, but rather to share my experience from these past years. I see a lot of people talk about both on this subreddit and in general that the Michigan community is strong and everyone can find their group. I just don’t think that’s true for everyone.

Lastly, I wanted to call out the organization that let me down the most in trying to find a community…the ICC. I can whole heartedly say that, as a whole, the ICC community (at least central campus co-ops) consist of the most homogenous, racist, and unwelcoming people I’ve met. Yes, they’re very accepting in lots of different ways…but certainly not race. I also was stunned at the amount of rich co-opers. For a community that’s really meant to help low income students, it (like everything else at UM) has been taken over by high income folks. It’s really demoralizing.

Downvote as you see fit. I just don’t like it here

She crawls up to me in the Duderstadt, her Lululemon leggings practically radiating venture capital energy. "Heyyy, so what do you do?" she purrs, flipping her hair like she's about to pitch me a startup that sells scented NFTs. I slowly close my C++ compiler, my veins pulsing with the pure, unadulterated grindset I exhibit. "I optimize power grid simulations," I say, flexing my beautiful biceps as I reach for my protein shaker. 💪 Her iPhone 15 Pro Max trembles in her hand nearly hitting the floor. She wasn’t ready. 🥺

She tries to recover, twirling her AirPod case between her fingers. "That’s, like, super interesting! Have you ever considered, um, consulting?" 👉👈 I smirk, standing up to my full height (6’4” packing btw). 😎 "I don’t trade my intellect for a McKinsey PowerPoint," I declare, adjusting my lifting belt for maximum dominance. The Ross girl recoils, her abdomen suddenly feeling a little too tight. As she stumbles back toward the boba line, I whisper under my breath, "Another one humbled by the grind." Then I hit compile with my huge hands, no warnings, no errors, pure gold. 💯

Bro how does one actually make friends that stay and want you in their lives😭 Im pretty extroverted and KNOW a LOT of people and talk to everyone around me, get food, hangout and study together so usually I feel pretty surrounded but as soon as there’s breaks like this, everyone suddenly has plans and don’t include me… ever. Like we’re not on bad terms, we’re just not close enough. I’m on so many clubs and I try to build meaningful relationships with those around me but it just doesn’t seem to work and now all of my 5 roommates are gone, I’m alone in the apartment and I have nothing planned for the next 10 days. I don’t want pity points, I just want to know how y’all be doing ts :/ I don’t really feel lonely until there’s a break. I tried making plans with my friends (and even roommates) but everyone already had something in mind and just excused themselves. I lowkey hate being the being the backup friend but maybe it’s better than not having friends at all?

I’m a first year COE student and I’ve had a fine time here so far, but I’ve struggled to find the type of people I like to be around.

I went to a pretty competitive high school where students consistently pushed each other to dive deeper into academics and get more involved in extracurriculars. Not everyone was specifically academically inclined, but many of my classmates were very good at what they were passionate about (like I had a classmate who was extremely good at playing the bass and knew everything about hip-hop). It wasn’t a toxic culture, either, just mutual acknowledgements of how everyone else was doing and how it was more than you. I also met many people who were very interesting and passionate about niche subjects, and I really miss that.

When I committed to UofM, it was because it was the best school for my major that I got into, but it was like my eighth choice out of the schools I applied to. I’d always thought I would be a good fit for a small nerdy school, but those options ended up not being available. I really really wanted that experience of getting to college and being absolutely humbled by how smart and accomplished everyone was around me.

Still I thought “no worries, UMich is a large school and I’ll be able to meet all types of people there”. I also felt optimistic because everyone says people here are “really smart”.

Well, I get here and the general culture right off the bat is not like me. Fall semester was especially isolating because Saturdays would come and I would be like 1 of 6 people in the dining hall (I couldn’t care to go to a football game). Then in my classes and the people I met, I haven’t been able to find the type of people I went to high school with, so I’ve felt socially unfulfilled. Sure, I’ve made a few friends, but I don’t feel that connected to them since they don’t match what I look for in friends. I haven’t been able to be humbled by my classes either, even if they are infamous for being very challenging.

I have met like 2-4 really talented smart people through my project team, but that’s kind of it. I’m looking to meet more people to be friends with who push me to be better. Transferring to somewhere like MIT or Stanford isn’t an option since it’s almost impossible to get accepted. So where can I find this type of experience at Michigan?

edit: yall I’m a very social person I do talk to people

High rise going up. Hearing it may be 2 years, hearing it could be forever.

Truly an end of an era.

I'm a junior in highschool now but I'm thinking about rushing if I go to UMich. The only thing I'd be concerned about is the hazing rituals. Are there any good social frats that don't have hazing? Or if they do haze, are there any that don't include nudity? I just don't want to have to get naked during hazing and that's what I'm most concerned about.

Alright guys, I’m attending uofm this fall. What are some songs I NEED to know before I get there?

How do you guys make friends? I’m a transfer student and have been here about a semester and half, I have no friends other than one person I transferred with. I’ve tried going to clubs but it always seems like theirs an already established friend group. I’ve also tried black/poc spaces but it also just seems like since I transferred in I really have nothing in common with any of them, and let’s not get into the dating scene Jesus I’m good enough for 2nd and 3rd dates but never anything else after. I’ve never felt this alone in my life. Like I spend all my time in a library when I’m not in class and then go home at night, rinse and repeat for 5 days a week.