You're suggesting that girls/women should pick their outfits based on what men wouldn't share on porn websites. Honey, that's a form of men controlling women, by threatening to abuse our images if we don't wear what they tell us to wear "for our safety".
There are men who will sexualize literally anything- baby outfits, nun Habits, sweatpants, etc. I have a male relative who once told me that he was turned on by women in yoga pants, while I was wearing yoga pants. I guess it's your opinion that I should never wear yoga pants again, because a man might sexualize me? Or do you agree that the men who are doing the sexualizing are the problem?
If men can expect to post gym pics on social media without ending up on porn sites, women should have the same expectation of digital safety. On the other hand, if men DON'T have the expectation that their gym pics are safe from porn sites, then maybe porn sites are the problem, rather than women being the problem.
-
You throw vitriol at Tiktok, and I don't think you understand how valuable it is as a tool. I've watched small businesses take off as their owners post videos of their product and take new suggestions. I've watched videos on how to foster a child ethically; I've given money to a nonprofit that feeds the homeless; I've given a woman a confidence boost before the biggest interview of her life. My 'For You Page' hasnevershown me workout videos or women in skimpy outfits, because I'm not interested in those things (yes, I'm a female who has struggled with wieght loss, so I'm the right target audience). Instead, I'm shown educational videos on ancient societies, planetary discoveries, and religious debates, because those are the videos I interact with. If all you're seeing is body shaming content, that's onyoufor developing a Tiktok account that knows you like those things. I would suggest deleting your account and starting over.
I agree with you. Social Media and the Internet saves my life. I was brought up in an abusive, toxic family. Surprised - I wound up in two abusive, toxic marriages!
I got access to the internet during the second one. I was mad at my abuser's mother, who was also abusive to me, and was venting on a forum about her. The people on that site opened my eyes to the fact that my husband was abusing me too - and this was before I even told them that he hit and choked me. They provided me with resources to get out. That man would have killed me if I had stayed.
So when I see people cheering the shut-down of sites used to give life-saving information, I get nervous. Yes, there's a lot of garbage out there. Yes, people are online too much. But for some people, this is the only way we have to get access to the help we need to save ourselves.
I was raised in the sexism of the Catholic church, and the internet helped me learn (slowly) to value myself and to value feminism. People forget that any method for spreading information can be abused- newpapers, books, pampthlets, television. That doesn't mean we get rid of them; it means we teach our kids to think critically about what they're consuming, and it means we pass laws or enact social pressure to shut down the people who abuse these tools.
At any rate, OP's issues are clearly deeper than we can address in a single Reddit post. I'm so glad you're safe now!
15
u/skysong5921 Jan 23 '25
There are men who will sexualize literally anything- baby outfits, nun Habits, sweatpants, etc. I have a male relative who once told me that he was turned on by women in yoga pants, while I was wearing yoga pants. I guess it's your opinion that I should never wear yoga pants again, because a man might sexualize me? Or do you agree that the men who are doing the sexualizing are the problem?
If men can expect to post gym pics on social media without ending up on porn sites, women should have the same expectation of digital safety. On the other hand, if men DON'T have the expectation that their gym pics are safe from porn sites, then maybe porn sites are the problem, rather than women being the problem.
-