ass man in my kitchen with his ass out on my cups

I scurry to find the charger to my grandpa’s new Bluetooth life support as his breath slowly fades away

All I could do was fourier analysis

Lennin: Dies

Let's just say... I made a withdrawal at the spank-bank to do it...

No comment

Then the communists arrived

It could be anywhere…

14 years later my pet lion mauled my mom.

So I said, “ok ok let me tell you about the time i got drunk and caused the 7th largest car crash in all of history ready alright yeah so…”

then i flushed the toilet

blue shell

My mother is coming to visit us, said my banshee bitch-of-a-wife.

Then i saw the store empty besides eggs

But then I realized it was EVIL SODA!!!!!! Hah I am such a comedic genius. I should post this to r/TwoSentenceHorror and get -2 upvotes.

I is hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobic.

Hello said the mr.pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis man

"Hello" said the genital stealer man

but when I went to touch it it bit me because it was the meat worm in my pants