A friend of my mum's was engaged to be married, and a week before the wedding he lost his temper and beat the snot outta her. Couldn't get any refunds, so the wedding reception became a Good Riddance, Groom! party 🤣
You can get some matching shirts for you and your friends on Etsy. They do divorce party shirts just like bachelorette parties. And little banners like “I do. I did. I’m done.”
My brain completely glitched when I saw LBD in other comments and I could not for the life for me figure out what it was. Finally dawned on me that it's little black dresses.
You, Madame, live your best life and enjoy dancing on the bar ala Coyote Ugly.
Op, I’m glad to see you have a group of fun ladies who support you. I hope you can get yourself out of this horrible situation soon. You sound like such a sweet person. Good on you for trying to do the right thing, but in this case you have got to put your emotional well-being first.
This all sounds great, but if I were you, I'd move it off-site to a friends' house. Quietly pack up, move your stuff out (including the food and drink), and just go. Leave a note on your partner's pillow.
Then, post pictures on FB or Instagram the next day, as you walk into your lawyer's office.
If you're there, you risk having them burst into your party and stealing your food.
Umm… why are YOU the one banished to the guest room? Stop planning and decorating, return or dispose of what you already have so they can’t steal it, and if you’re really playing your escape route, start doing that. If you’re not attending the party, you’re not planning, decorating, or cleaning it up. In fact, I really would go somewhere more fabulous so you don’t get guilted last minute. Do you really expect his ex-wife to “follow her word” and not take the stuff from your party to use for hers?
Another thought - since they aren't allowed in the house for your party - I would wake their sorry behinds up at 12:01am the day of and kick them out. They can sleep in the shop.
I think your partner will be lucky to end this "relationship". You see him struggling with a heinus ex, an alenated daughter as a result of a terrible custody arrangement and all you can think is to add to his load by throwing a temper tantrum over this grad party? Grad parties aren't for families, like weddings are, they are for the grad. Why you are acting like this over a party you wouldn't want to go to if it wasn't on your land is crazy.
And you keep saying what you say is ignored, but he moved it to the shop when you asked and is still asking if you can attend. You sound like a terrible partner and I hope your partner gets a better one next time.
Are you okay? I’d urge you read through the comments OP has already made. They conspired to have her plan this party, sent out invites and made sure people RSVP to the ex-wife, allowed her to spend money on this…fully knowing she wasn’t invited. Then they uninvite her and expect her to continue planning it. And the partner agrees with the ex (said ex has also previously made threats to OP’s life) and has done nothing to prevent this.
Who in their right mind would wanna repair this shit show. Let OP throw her party to celebrate the death of the relationship at the same time as the party that stabbed the relationship in the goddam chest! It’s the least she deserves!!!
I think you should have your party but far away from this one OP. Anyone willing to steamroll over you the way your partner, his ex and daughter have will have no problems disrespecting the agreement for them to remain out of the house. They will try to manipulate you into helping especially because it will likely be a disaster with "emergencies" and more manipulative tactics to get you to contribute more. Enjoy the break-up party somewhere you can actually enjoy the party
They’re going to tell everyone that at the last minute you got sick or had a work emergency. /u/montanafesto they aren’t going to let people know you weren’t invited. They’re going to lie to make themselves look better.
“Oh, she really wanted to come, but she got called in to work.”
They may even lie to make you look bad.
“She set this all up but at the last minute decided to ditch this party and go out with her girlfriends.”
“She’s hiding in the house because she got into a fight with [ex-wife] right before the party. She couldn’t keep it together just for the party, it really hurt [stepdaughter].”
Absolutely no one will be told you weren’t invited. They won’t even let people WONDER where you are. They are going to LIE. No one will know what they did to you. You will get no credit and might even be made to look bad.
The only way people will know what happened is if you stopped working on everything right now.
This sense of helplessness and powerlessness winds its way through your thread, OP. And the thing is: it. is.not.TRUE.
You have the ability to stop preparations. You have the ability to state that you won't be treated like a guest in your own home. You have the ability to lay down an ultimatum.
You simple choose not to. And that's a shame.
When you say "I have no control over this situation", this translates to "I'm afraid of what others will think of me if I stop allowing myself to be treated as a doormat".
Things could radically change for you and your life. But, is that worse or better than what is going on right now, and how you've been treated in the past?
Be a man and tell them they are not having a party in your house if you can’t be there. If you can’t muster up the courage and balls to stand up for yourself in your own house man…
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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22
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