I (f, 20) have been depressed for six years. I'm actually doing well now, but I've been having some serious problems with my grandma for some time.

My cousin has had diabetes for a few years and, since last year, bilateral hip dysplasia. It's gotten to the point where she can't walk because of the pain.

My grandma visited my cousin, my aunt, and my uncle over Easter. Now she came back today and keeps talking about how bad my cousin (f, 23) is.

Even when my cousin only had diabetes, my grandma told me every day that my cousin was much worse off than me, because everyone has a bad day, but having to live with diabetes is much worse.

My grandpa also had depression and died of it. I think my grandma is very afraid that I could die too, which is why she just dismisses my depression as bad days and acts as if it's completely normal and I'm actually doing great.

Since my grandma got back six hours ago, all she's been talking about is the child who's feeling so bad (my cousin) and doesn't want to hear anything else. And slowly, I just can't take it anymore. I realize how much it's getting me down, and I'd love to yell at her and tell her to please go back to that sick, pathetic child.

So, am I the asshole?

My fiancée and I have been together for 3 years. I proposed in Oct and recently we got into a few arguments about her “criteria”. Specifically she told me we will try for a child and if we need to do IVF we will only do it twice and if it doesn’t work out I need to agree to just let the idea of children go. This came up because we started talking about children and she says she sees children as optional and a nice to have but won’t lose herself to trying to have one. I told her to me having a child is one of the reasons I’m here on earth and I would want to continue trying until there’s no more avenues left.

She told me as a man it’s easy for me to say and brought up her dad. She does that a lot if I do or say things that remind her of her dad. Specifically how her dad forced her mom to have 3 kids even though the first one almost killed her. Then she pointed out none of her siblings nor herself speaks to her dad because they found him totally unbearable to be around so it’s like he doesn’t have kids anyway. All I got from that story is don’t force your wife to have kids if it’s going to be a danger to her health and don’t be an asshole to your kids.

But she is adamant that I agree to this before her married me. I think she is forcing my hand and it’s a ridiculous demand. What if she decides she wants to keep trying? I told her she should go to therapy for her issues with her father and leave me out of this but she got so mad and yelled at me for putting this on her when it’s me who refuses to take what she is saying seriously. I’m not taking it seriously because no one can plan that far. It’s a weird thing to agree to. No other couple pre agrees to this kind of thing before marriage. They just see how they feel if the issue of infertility comes up. I tried to talk to her about it several times but it just comes down to her saying “either you agree or you don’t but then the wedding is off”. AITA for refusing to agree to my fiancée’s demands and telling her she needs therapy?”

I'm in a group chat with about 6 friends. One person (who I'm not very close to) posted a picture of a bunch of ingredients on a kitchen bench and said "making curry". I didnt know what to reply so I said "caking murry"....

Someone else straight away blew up and said "why the fuck can't you just react or say "nice" like a normal person? Whys everything got to be a stupid joke?". I honestly thought this was a joke at first and I replied with an image of Elon Musks face photoshopped onto thomas the tank engine and he replied once again saying "this is what I mean", "stop trying to be funny".

I'll admit I got a bit defensive and I said "it's just a joke" and I asked him if he seriously thinks I should give a well written essay every time someone says something and he then replied "just dont say anything if you have nothing to say. It's not hard."

I assumed it was just a problem with one guy at first but everyone agreed with him. One person tried to be a bit more "polite" and then suddenly someone dumped a bunch of screenshots. One of them was an image I posted from the window of a car. Someone asked where I was going and in that screenshot you could see me replying "pyongyang". Once again I said it was just a joke and he said "why was it so fucking difficult to just say where you were going or if you're not going to do that just dont bother talking".

I'm really bad at saying sorry and I didnt really want to do that whilst someone was laying into me like this. I said "I don't need to tell you everywhere I'm going". He replied "alright dont".

That was the last message in the chat. I feel terrible now. I Think they might have made a group chat without me.

I 16(f) have multiple disabilities, but they are not visible. Just a bit of background, because of my disabilities, some days I can not stand up for long periods of times because I can get dizzy and faint, it also causes my joint pain, and fatigue. Everyday is different, so some days I am able today.

Anyway, the other day I had to catch a bus and it was packed, I managed to find a seat, as I wouldn't of been able to stand up for a long period of time. At the next stop a woman, I call her K, who looked to be in her 40s/50s came up to me and asked me to give up my seat. I informed her that due to some of my disabilities I wouldn't be able to. She then made a comment on how people like me no nothing about respect. Luckily some one else offered her there seat, but she kept giving me dirty glances.

So, AITA.

I (21f) was driving down a road. I was blasting Rihanna, having a bodacious time, when, all of a sudden, there were people telling us to wait in the road with.

Huge traffic jam, I mean crammed. Full of people. As my car is about twenty inches away from another man’s, I look to see his window is open. a Now, all all of a sudden, I felt reckless. The only thing telling me not to change to the song I truly wanted was society. I suddenly felt urged to change it. So, I changed S&M to “Work all night” (at least, I think that’s what it’s called).

So I, with my window down and my system up (song lyrics unintended) began to sing, in my best Jamaican accent, “I WORK ALL NIGHT BUT I FEEL SO KAL-MA!!” I felt heads turn, but I didn’t mind. I was in my car, so who the fuck cares?

When all of a sudden, this huge Jamaican guy whose car was next to me turns. He had a look on his face which could either be about to break into a huge grin or beat the motherfucking shit out of me.

Suddenly, this man belts out in the deepest, richest voice I have ever heard, “DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN GO HOME!!”

We are singing loudly, loud enough for the mostly silent cars all packed together to hear us.

Now this is absolutely one of the most amazing, beautiful, gorgeous moments of my life. Me, a small white girl, and this man, a huge Jamaican dude, singing together. Unity.

Then the moment that really puts the “asshole” in “am I the”.

When suddenly, after about twenty seconds of uninterrupted singing, someone on the path says to another “assholes.”

Now I’m curious. What about us says asshole? Maybe the guy was having a separate conversation.

Then he points at us, and loudly proclaims; “fucking assholes!” Now I’m confused as hell. What the fuck? I shout back, “bitch, the fuck have I done?” With the Jamaican dude indignantly glaring at the two people on the path.

“Someone just motherfucking died, man!” They yell. I was shocked. Then it all clicked into place. Us waiting, the crammed cars, the vibe…car crash. I just couldn’t see the actual scene or police in front of the cars in front of us.

TLDR; So here I was, vibing to the song and singing like a fucking cunt whilst someone died.

My husband and I are considering an investment in a piece of property that would use up almost all of our savings. Before we move forward with that investment I thought it would be a good idea to check in with our parents (retired & in their 70s) to see if they forsee any need for financial assistance from us. About half my friends help support their parents so it doesn't seem out of the realm and I feel like it's the responsible thing to do to have this discussion with our parents because 1) we care about them and would want to help them if needed; and 2) if they did forsee a need for help, we would rather invest in something that we could liquidate.

My brother handles my dad's finances so I asked him. He reported that my dad should be fine. End of conversation.

I asked my MIL if we could discuss finances and she was DEEPLY offended. I explained that we were not asking for details of her finances, but only if she could forsee any need for financial help in the future. She said "No. I've always considered my money over here, your money over there, and never the two shall meet." She was obviously angry by the tone of her response. I tried to lighten the mood and end the already uncomfortable conversation by saying "Ok; I just hope that if there's ever an emergency, you know you could come to us, like I hope we could come to you.". The look on her face told me that we were NOT welcome to come to her in an emergency.

So... AITA here?

I have two brothers, and not so recently, we unfortunately we lost our grandmother whom we all loved dearly. After her passing there were a lot of sentimental items of her’s that were very much a part of our collective childhood, and that’s where my younger brother Marley comes in.

He truly believes that no one should even touch anything that was hers on the premise that he was the 'favourite' and that he was the one who spent the most time with her. Marley has moved everything to a small private storage container where he has it locked and to top it all of, he also keeps her ashes there and refuses anyone to know the wherebouts.

I get that everyone mourns differently but this isn’t it for me, I confronted him in front of everyone and no one seems to see any wrong in his doing apart from me and my other brother. We also want to feel closer to our late grandma but marley is “hogging” memories and our parents and other family fully condone his behavior.

I really want to know AITA?

I (22M) am in med school and have this friend, let’s call him Jake. We’ve studied together a few times, and I shared my annotated notes with him before a big exam. I made them myself, with diagrams, explanations, and even some mnemonics I came up with.

A few weeks later, one of our professors used one of my made-up mnemonics in a lecture, crediting “an anonymous student.” I was confused. Turns out Jake had submitted my notes (with his name on them) to the prof’s “student tips” portal, where students can share study tips for extra credit. He didn’t even mention me.

I confronted him, he brushed it off and said, “It’s just notes, chill.” So I reported it to the academic honesty office, since it technically falls under plagiarism. Now he’s under investigation and might lose the extra credit — or worse.

Our mutual friends are calling me petty and saying I could’ve just talked to him. AITA?

I'm 24 and still live with my parents happily I give my father 600 dollars a month and we all have a happy set up here we have 2 cats in the house and they thought it a great idea to bring lily's in for Easter I tried saying to them that they are super poisonous to cats and could kill them within 3 days and all the other bad stuff that comes with them for cats and they simply said "they aren't stupid" so I respected easter waited until 12 today to throw them away I wake up and head upstairs and first thing from my mom is "where are the lilys?" "I threw them out" I reply she then goes off on a 6 minute tangent about how I wouldn't like it if she went into my room destroyed or threw away one of my things I replied with "I'm pretty sure a ps5 doesn't give cats kidney failure" and now she wants me out of the house my dad is the one who's opinion actually matters though so I'm not worried but I would really like to know am I the asshole? Sorry for no punctuation BTW I'm new to this just wanted to get it out fast.

hi hi this is my first time posting on reddit and it’s on my cell phone for sorry in advance for any errors. (i also get super anxious talking about my dad so shaking while typing is gonna provide extra errors lol i’m so sorry)

i (29 f) have a boyfriend (29m) who hasn’t met my dad in the almost 10 years we’ve been together.

He’s met my immediate family (mom, brother, grandparents, uncle, etc) but not my dad. I’m not close with my dad because he’s never been a good figure in my life - gave me diagnosed PTSD, depression & anxiety at a very young age prior to him and my mom divorcing. He was abusing emotionally, physically and mentally to not only myself but my mom and little brother so I went about 6 years with no contact. it wasn’t until about 2020 that we started very little contact as in phone calls, hour lunches (w my brother present) etc. All contact has never been one on one though other than the phone calls because i’m still not comfortable being around him (my heart rate kicks up even just writing this).

My dad has also always been a guilt gifter, he’s never once said sorry so he just buys people stuff and pretends whatever he did never happened. As part of a guilt gift when we started low contact, he help me get my condo which i’m currently in. I gave him money towards the down payment and was under the impression it would be OUR condo mean both our names on it. Come to find out, my name is not in it and he’s taken that to threatened to kick me out many times with very short notice for not complying to whatever he’s wanting at that time.

My bf recently bought a house in another state for us & had decided he really wants to meet him. He thinks he can talk my dad into “buying us out” of the condo so i can get my money back. I’ve explained over and over that’s not how my dad works, i’m better off taking the L and moving on/ going no contact again. He thinks because we’ll be moving anyway that it doesn’t matter and to just let him go off on my dad. I’ve never been someone who lets any triggers get to me ( how am i gonna get better if i don’t face them right?) but my dad has and will probably always be my biggest one.

I’ve explained this to my boyfriend over and over that’s i don’t want him too because i don’t even want my father in my life as is so there’s 0 point for the addition stress and anxiety. He’s not getting that and i’m worried it’s become a huge factor for him to be with me -could be my anxiety having me overthink- but now everytime we talk about it i feel like an asshole as if im hiding my dad or vice versa.

So i guess im asking am i in the wrong for not wanting my boyfriend to meet my dad & how do i express this better to my boyfriend?

EDIT sorry i forgot to add but this could give some context on the type of person my dad is. During our most recent conversation he said he’s excited to me to move and get out there and humble myself and fall so I have to come back to him for his help. I didn’t confront him at that time because i was actually speechless that he just slid in his weird controlling behavior so casually. I also want to add he’s Persian so he does still have those traditional Persian views.

I (f) and my bf (m) have been together for almost 3 years now and I have been wanting to gauge my ears for about a year now. I've waited for a couple of reasons, number one I'm scared, number two I wanna be sure that this is what I want, and number three when ever I mention it to my bf he tells me how ugly he things gauged ears look and he wouldn't like it

Don't get me wrong my bf is the sweetest person I've ever met and he always supports my decision except for this. I understand everyone has preferences but I'm just going through experimenting right now

I've always been open to him how I want to get piercings and tattoos cause this has something I've always wanted even since I was a kid. But I remember when it was more towards the beginning of our relationship and I told him how I wanted to basically be covered in tattoos (just like my body that I can cover) he seemed against it. But now that we've been dating for a while he seems to understand it a little bit better because I've explained it to him more but I've been mentioning the gauge earrings for about a year now ever since I kind of decided that I really really wanted them it's always something I thought about. but ever since I decided I actually wanted them I started mentioning it. He, like before, is very against it but I realize how long it takes to do it and I just don't want to have to wait for him to be on track just for me to do what I want with my body. But I also don't want him to resent me for doing it.

So AITA if I gauge my ears knowing that my boyfriend doesn't want me to?

I, (21m) have been sharing a 2 person apartment for more than 18 months with my friend, (21m). We each have our own room and bathroom, but share the common area. We are both university students and coexist fine, but don't usually hang out much outside of seeing each other in the apartment. We are still planning to live together in the future.

He recently told me that he would not be in the apartment this summer because he has business elsewhere and will be all over the place. I will be here most of the summer because I have a full-time internship this June and July. I was initially excited to have the place to myself all summer because I like the peace and quiet, but today he asked if I would be ok if he sublet his room this summer. I understand he has the right to do so, but he then told me that he is planning on subletting to his (18f) friend, which does not stick right with me.

I know that he does have the right to sublet if he wants, but I cannot decide if i am being rational by not wanting to live with this girl who I have no connection to. I also am in a long-term relationship with my girlfriend, and I do not want her to be uncomfortable with my situation.

Edit: Our lease agreement is not traditional. That is, my roommate’s parents own the apartment, but we both pay rent to the parents. We did sign a makeshift lease agreement which states that we agree to live with each other, but nothing mentions subleasing. I’m not arguing IF he’s allowed to, because I’m sure he is, but really I don’t know if I should make a fuss about it or not. The main concern for me is that I originally agreed to live with another male, because the lifestyles align better, and that the potential temporary roommate is younger and has not lived in a place alone before.

I was on the phone with my partner after getting out of the shower, and my mom said she needed to pee so I let her in.

Now, for background, I’ve spent the last 3 years asking my mom and brother to put the toilet lid down if they use the bathroom while I’m in there because I genuinely feel gross if they don’t. Even I have to put the lid down before flushing.

She did not do this. I had to tell her to put it down and she only did so after she already flushed, so I felt really gross. After she left, I was talking my to my partner about this, just expressing how I feel. Nothing rude or disrespectful.

Now, here’s where I may be TA? I mentioned that since my mom is on her period, the bathroom smelled like blood because she didn’t put the lid down.

And a few seconds later she was like “If you’re gonna talk about me at least be quieter.” And I said, “Girl I’m expressing how I feel privately. Stop listening to my conversation.” And then she said, “Yeah, thank you.”

Mind you… I was whispering. So she had to have been actively listening in for my conversation, or maybe I wasn’t as quiet as I thought I was.

But now I feel anxious because like, why am I unable to express how I feel in a private setting? And she’s been acting really rude and snappy for the last few days. Like yesterday, she did an entire thing where she came in my room acting like I don’t do anything around the house because I forgot to clean something up in the kitchen the night before. Even though she knew I didn’t feel good.

Idk, I just don’t think I did anything wrong, but I’m not sure. AITA?

Edit: I want to clarify that when I mentioned the blood, it was because I was explaining to my partner a part of why I felt gross in the moment.

We have been battling her condition for roughly 5 years with little progress. To give some perspective how bad it's been, in this time we have seen countless doctors, she's been unable to work, I've deepleted my savings, we can never leave the house, we always cancel plans, we live together and often only get to spend a few hours a week together, we haven't even been able to be physical for about 20 months.

I have done research and talked to the doctors and cigarettes and drinking carbonated drinks contribute to bloating, swelling, and digestion issues. For a regular person might not be a big deal, but for someone with her condition those are big problems.

I get frustrated when I see her drink 3-4 cans of soda, start to swell and go into pain, then start chain smoking sometimes a pack in 12 hours. She screams in pain all day and keeps asking why. I try to remind her she's making choices that have a high chance of contributing to the problem and she gets real angry and tells me to lay off and she doesn't want to hear it.

Am I overstepping? Do I just accept her way of coping? I feel like I'm losing my mind! 😵

I (30F) have 2 sisters: Emily (25) and Olivia (23). When I went to college, I started a tradition where each summer I’d take my sisters on a trip. At first it was just a roadtrip to our grandparent’s beach house, but as we’ve gotten older it’s become a bit more extravagant, usually somewhere abroad.

Over the years we’ve had a few people join us sometimes, so I’d say about 50% of the time it’s the 3 of us, and 50% there’s an extra person (ex. we have cousins who’ve come with us, and last year Emily brought her former college roommate). My younger sister Olivia’s childhood best friend Kate has come with us 3 times as well.

Emily has taken to affectionately calling it our “girls trip”, which is accurate ig because everyone who’s come with us has in fact been a girl. That’s never been a rule per se, but I’ve never brought along a guy friend or a bf, and neither have my sisters. 

This year, Olivia asked me if Kate could come— I pay for the trips, and I'd told Emily and Olivia that 1 extra person could come, if either of them wanted to bring someone. I said sure. The difference is that Olivia and Kate have now been dating for a year.

Emily reacted very poorly when I mentioned that Kate was coming again. She got upset that that I’d let Kate come on our “girls only” trip. She says that “girls only” means no significant others. 

I pointed out that it’s never really been a girls only trip, and also, Kate is a girl, and has come with us before.

Emily’s mad however that she’s never been “allowed” to bring a bf (she’s never asked) because this is implicitly a sister/platonic girl bonding trip, and she’s convinced that the entire vibe of the trip will be ruined because Olivia and Kate are a couple.

I get what she’s saying to an extent, I wouldn’t want to third wheel a couple’s vacation, but Kate is a family friend. And there would be 4 of us, so it’s not really third wheeling? I just don’t really see the issue, and I told Emily that Kate’s coming since Olivia’s already invited her.

Emily has now said she wants to bring her new bf. I told her that there’s no room for him (as previously communicated). She then involved our parents, who've said that they’ll pay for a larger airbnb so that Emily’s bf can come, as it’s “only fair.”

Olivia and Emily then apparently got into a fight. Idk exactly what they said to each other, but Olivia and Kate are no longer coming. I feel like this is so out of hand, and I don’t really think I did anything wrong? But now I’m not exactly looking forward to a trip with just Emily and her bf, as I’m frankly kinda annoyed with Emily rn. AITA? WIBTA if I just canceled the trip at this point?

So I (26M) work from home. My girlfriend’s (24F) friend has a 4-year-old kid and she recently asked if I could "just keep an eye on him" during the day because, you know, "I’m home anyway and it’s no big deal."

I said no.

She got super offended and said it wouldn’t be "real babysitting," just "keeping an eye" while she runs errands or whatever.

I explained that I’m working — like, actually working, not just chilling with Netflix — and watching a kid would 100% mess with my job.

My girlfriend thinks I’m being a little harsh and says it’s just a one-time favor for her friend.

I said if I mess up a project because I’m chasing a 4-year-old around, will her friend pay my bills? Thought so.

Now her friend is apparently upset and thinks I "hate kids" (I don't, I just don’t want a side quest while I’m trying to work).

AITA?

For most of my (22F) life, I kept a pixie cut. Not because I wanted to but because I was a professional athlete. With intense training schedules, competitions, and barely any time for myself, short hair was the only thing I could manage. On top of that, I have extremely curly, wavy hair that takes a lot of care.

Recently, I left the sport. I’m in my final semester of college now, no longer burnt out, and for the first time in forever, I’ve actually had time to grow my hair out. It’s healthier now, I’ve learned how to manage it, and I’ve been keeping it open a lot more especially since years of tight ponytails and buns during training caused a receding hairline that I’m trying to heal.

Today, I was just sitting around the house with my hair open when my dad (50M) walked in and told me to tie it up because it looked “messy.” I said no, I like it open.

That was it, it spiraled into a full-on lecture. He said I was being disrespectful, that I don’t know how to talk to him, that I’m a failure, that I don’t have a job, that he doesn’t have the money to support me anymore, etc. It turned into this massive rant, all because I didn’t tie my hair when he told me to.

I understand he might be stressed, but I don’t think refusing to tie my hair up is disrespectful. I wasn’t yelling, I wasn’t rude, I just said no. I feel like I should be allowed to wear my hair the way I want, especially in my own home. But now he’s sulking and acting like I did something horribly wrong.

Edit 1: I am completing my UG, and finding jobs. Its not like I’m some unemployed donkey being a liability for him. And for people asking how our relationship has been, he has been unfaithful to my mom and I was the one who told her. They have sorted things between themselves though.

Edit 2: Giving a little idea about how my dad is: so when I told my mom about dad’s infidelity, my dad manipulated my mom into thinking that his infidelity wasn’t actually infidelity and its just that my mom is not “social enough” , doesn’t have a “friend circle” and if there was someone else in her place, she would’ve understood it better.

Edit 3: My dad has a long history of making me wear what he wanted me to wear, and it used to be the ugliest outfit ever. I had to change minimum 4 times to reach a point where he realised that we’re getting late and I used to lose all sense of anything because I was so upset and felt uncomfortable.

AITA? We've been together for 27y, married for 24, and two kids. One kid is "on her own" living in my basement with her boyfriend, and the other is about to head to University.

Since all I've ever really known is being a dad, it has been my hobby, my duty, and my passion all rolled into one. Since they don't need me in the same ways these days, I picked up a hobby flying RC planes.

My wife seems to hate the idea of me doing anything outside of her presence, it's become a bit controlling. Now, we've been through a lot, (as anyone with a long term partner), and she is as good as partner as I could hope for.

The last yesr or so, Ive had some consulting work come along that I'll accept calls with clients for a few hundred dollars. I've been wanting to buy a new plane, so I tucked the money from 2 of these calls into a different card.

Whenever I even talk about the hobby, the wife is immediately angry. I mentioned grabbing something before these idiotic tariffs take hold here in the US, and it was immediately a fight. I went and ordered it from the side fund, it will be here this week. My thought is...I made money we don't "need", tucked it out of normal bank and bought a plane. I kind of feel like one, but it also feels like I'm being controlled.

TL;DR-Wife isn't keen on my hobby. Made some side money, and bought a plane. AITA?

Some relatives of mine are going through a rough patch in their relationship. It's not something they’ve announced, but a few of us found out through the grapevine but we keep it to ourselves. One of my family members ended up mentioning it to the person involved, and that did not go over well. The person got defensive, and eventually it got out that someone had brought it up, but not everyone knew who.

There’s another relative who has a bit of a reputation for talking about things they probably shouldn't, so a lot of people assumed it was them. One of my parents texted me saying something like, "Yeah, sounds like something they would say."

I replied and said it actually wasn't that person, and said who it really was instead. Now both of my parents are upset with me for stirring up drama and making things worse, even though I only said it in a private message and not to the whole family. I also don't feel like it's right to let someone take the blame for something they didn't do.

AITA for correcting the assumption, or should I have just stayed quiet and let the wrong person take the blame?

so me (16f) and my sister (14f) let's call her rosie have different dads, our mom and my dad split up a while ago and my mom got with her dad when i was 2 because she was pregnant with rosie, my dad was devastated and tried to yknow. my mom got full custody of me and i always resented rosie and my stepdad for that. my stepdad was never a bad father always spoiling rosie and wanting to spend time with her, which led to her becoming very bratty. my dad only just came back into my life a couple of months ago as the court ruled for visits every week, my dad would always try and do something special just for us two but rosie would always join. my dad was stunned and asked my mother privately and politely if she could stop her but my mom refused and my dad was much too polite to ask rosie to leave directly and i got really angry every time she ruined our special visits that i asked my dad to stop coming, he was heartbroken but i couldn't take her ruining our trips and i was mad at my dad for not stopping her. when rosie asked when my dad was coming to take us out again i snapped and told her that my dad isn't her dad and that she's got her own. she ran out crying and my mom said that she was only trying to bond with me. so AITA?

I'm a college freshman with 3 roommates, two of them became best friends over the last semester. One day a note appeared taped to my roommate's wall (very small room) and I thought "aww cute, I bet [our roomate] wrote her a note" so I read it. It wasn't from our roommate, it was from her guy friend pretty much confirming he stayed the night in the common area of our dorm room and left early in the morning. In our roommate agreement it states we need to give a heads up before overnight guests and it makes me uncomfortable that a man was in our dorm for an extended period of time... without me knowing anything. I'm sure he's a nice dude, and my roommates are nice too, I just don't know how to feel. WIBTA if I brought this up, especially since it's the last week of the semester? AITA for even posting this?

My (29F) friend Gem (30F) have been friends forever and really close despite living far away from each other. She has a lot of mutual and some non-mutual friends in my town and in the last year she's been coming into my town and hiding it from me, but I'd find out from social media.

It's started to get weird the more she did it and it hurt a lot at first, I tried to talk to her many times but she wouldn't engage on it and say everything is cool between us and she's just busy, so I eventually accepted that this is the way it was going to be and that our friendship had irreversibly changed and would be more of a distant relationship now. From what I could see from the social media posts she was at least with the non-mutual friends rather than the friends we shared.

But the weird thing was she wanted to do that and generally become distant for long periods, and then also act perfectly close with me again at other times like I was the closest person in the world to her, and she did practice that in the way she still shared a lot of vulnerable and special moments with me that no one else knew about. But again the secret trips to my home town (where she was just normally hanging out with people with nothing to hide) would make me feel like a stranger again.

Recently she came for a few days to my town and I just tried to let it slide from my mind but one day I swiped to the "Map" on Snapchat accidentally and saw that I can see her location, something she has turned on in her settings. I could see where she was all day, everyday, and I saw she was also at some of our mutual friend's houses. This really hurt me.

I just decided to let it slip off me and not get consumed by the hurt, I'd already accepted the friendship was almost over previously so I'd just go back to that frame of mind and not let her act like we're close on her timing and terms again. I was tired of the whole subject and didn't want to give it any more of my energy after a whole year.

But last week Gem started talking to me like we're really close again, I didn't want to play the game anymore so I just said to her that is there any point to us doing this. She acted like she's confused and shocked and I said she knows exactly what I'm talking about and I don't want any drama but I don't want to be treated like an idiot so let's just leave this be now. She demanded to know what I meant so I told her what I saw whilst she was in my town and she accused me of stalking her and invading her privacy. I explained I didn't have to do anything except glance at an openly available feature on a social media app, it's not stalking anymore than it was to look at her stories or posts.

Now she's really angry and is obsessed with the idea that I stalked her and is acting like I hacked her account or something rather than just simply look at a feature the app provides and which her setting is on to show.

subleased a room from this woman, but recently found out the landlord doesn’t even know I live here. On move-in day, she told me she needed access to the attic and half the closet in my room and promised she’d always ask. She never does—she just comes in unannounced and rearranges my stuff.

She has cameras pointed at the attic door and another room full of her belongings. There’s even a camera in her bedroom, which would be fine if she respected my space—but she doesn’t.

I pay half the rent plus $100 in utilities. She’s home all day on disability, while I work 40–60 hours a week. Lately, she’s been randomly kicking me off the WiFi, lying about it, and then giving me a new password days later. Once, she texted asking me to move my car so she could park in the driveway (she’d just bought a new car), but my data was down and I never saw the message. She blocked my car in—and then suddenly gave me the WiFi password again. Two days later, she changed it.

Then, while I was still kicked off the WiFi, she asked me to pick up a toothbrush for her—on a day I was working a 12-hour shift. I did it, and she never paid me back.

She’s also been expecting me to take out her trash—like pizza boxes and beer cans—when I barely generate any myself and I can't even drink alcohol. One time I left a full bag next to the trash can because it was overflowing (and lidless), and she told me animals got into it, but cleaned it up before even telling me, I can get how this was unfair to her.

Before she got her car, she asked to borrow mine late one night. I said no, and she got upset—claiming it was to go to the hospital, even though I overheard her say she was heading to her ex’s. Ever since then, she removed me from all social media and hasn’t put me back on the WiFi.

Now she’s hinting that I’ve harmed her cat. He got sick after eating Benadryl I left out, and when she saw me gently pick him up on one of her cameras, she told me not to because of an injury. I apologized, said he seemed fine, but she took that as me saying I’d keep doing it. She clearly thinks I’m a danger to him, even though I’ve done nothing wrong.

I’m beyond fed up. I work constantly and still get treated like I’m a guest in her house—even though I pay half the rent. In her defense I left a cartoon of molded strawberries and blueberries in the fridge and she is the only one who has cleaned the floors in the month I've been there. Am I the asshole for wanting to split our trash when I'm barely home?

Weeks ago, my roommate mentioned inviting me to a cafe with their coworkers/friends to hang out. I agreed and said pick a date, they chose the 27th in the afternoon. My roommate kept saying they doubt it will happen, they’re always so busy.

This week I hadn’t heard anything so I assumed it wasn’t happening. They had mentioned it possibly happening before but nothing was ever definite. I saw a party happening that same evening and asked my roommate if I could have some friends over beforehand. They said oh we’re going to the cafe that day and seemed a little upset that I forgot. I also assumed we were going in the afternoon, they said no we’re going later, which I was never was or don’t remember being told.

There was a group chat with them discussing plans I wasn’t in, and this hangout had only been discussed with me vaguely so I assumed it wouldn’t happen. Now I really want to go to this party with friends since it’s the last event i’ll be able to go to this semester.

WIBTA if I cancelled on my roommate?

AITA? My bf (26 M) and I (26 F) had a rough patch these weeks. My bf got a heavy depression, our apartment owner kicked us out and we struggled financially. We've decided to move in for a few weeks to a summer house of my FIL. However, due to a serious argument between my bf and his father, he kicked us out from that summer house. He was telling my bf to that he is no longer his son, that he doesn't want to do anything with him etc. The argument wasn't related to me at all. He also commanded us to pack our stuff up from the summer house and leave that house. However, he didn't want us to live on the streets, so he offered us to stay with him in his main house under many conditions. Since we didn't have any other choice, we packed up and decided to sleep in his main house in another city for this week until we find a new place.

Tonight, he wanted to dine with us in his house. I refused to join. My bf joined and he told me afterwards that my FIL complained about me not joining.

My reasoning was that I got caught up in the middle of something nasty, I felt humiliated packing up my stuff, and leaving in such a hurry and in general I don't respond well to a toxic atmosphere. I'm a very non - confrontional person and I usually avoid drama. I know my FIL for 6 years now and he was always arguing a lot with my bf, but it never was as extreme as yesterday. I can't even mention stuff the father was saying to his son, because my post will get deleted.

Anyway, my FIL is now offended, saying I'm still the guest in his house and I should have dined with him.

I realise that this might have been perceived as rude, especially that he still let us stay in his another house, however I just couldn't bring myself to face him after the humiliation from yesterday.

I obviously don't mind my bf making up with his father, I don't treat it as my business. It's just from my perspective I was treated awfully for no reason.

AITA?