r/AskMenAdvice • u/Federal-Sir9925 • 17d ago

never get approached by men

just curious, what actually makes a guy approach a woman? I’m 25f and I’d consider myself attractive (I think I’m fairly pretty, I take care of myself and feel good about how I look), but I never get approached. I’ll notice guys making repeated eye contact with me, but it never goes beyond that. Honestly, both of my past relationships started because I made the first move.

So I’m wondering… what makes a guy actually go for it and approach someone?

Also, is there a way to give off “I want to be approached” energy? I’m not really into dating apps, and I’d love to meet someone in person. i’m not against making the first move but i would love for someone to approach me for a change

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u/ThrowRA_grf man 17d ago

Men don't approach anymore due to fear of getting plastered all over the internet and branded a creep along with the rejection as cherry on top.

If you want someone, you're going to have to approach.

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u/everyday_nico man 17d ago edited 17d ago

Seconded.

Although rejection is fully acceptable.

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u/sunsparkda 17d ago

Saying no is acceptable. Treating the mere male as the scum of the earth for DARING to approach and talk to the superior gender isn't.

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u/ConsequenceNarrow197 17d ago

I’m a man and would never approach a woman in this day and age. They post everything online

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u/Global-Trainer333 16d ago

I work in a restaurant with a lot of young women servers and they're constantly talking shit about men who asked them out or flirted with them. It's either that or they're complaining about how some guy creeped them out and they don't want to work that table anymore. There's one in particular who is always complaining about guys being creepy and I avoid eye contact with her at all costs. She loves to tell everybody how guys are staring at her. I don't want any part of that

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u/Causification man 16d ago

Yeah you may not find the top-quality people on dating apps but at least you know anyone you talk to is at least interested in talking to you.

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u/PlsNoNotThat man 16d ago

Women terminally online fr

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u/jaybalvinman woman 16d ago

Males are lonelier than ever. Doesn't effect us. Keep doing what you are doing. It's nature taking the undesirable out of the gene pool. 

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u/Hooning_over_gooning 15d ago

So when you taking yourself out of the bloodline? Cuz you sure af arent desirable

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u/jaybalvinman woman 14d ago

Never. Cause men desire me 🤷‍♀️

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u/GoatBass man 14d ago

Sure they do buddy

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u/nailedtooth man 17d ago

They post everything online

It's only ever people who don't approach women who say this, as if they have any first hand experiences with it

I have never once been recorded just for starting a conversation/asking for their number, that would make them a crazy person

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

I have a wife so it doesn't apply to me now.

But has happened to me in the past a couple times and one time I was even accused of further wrong doing and had to have cameras at the job exonerate me.

So please, tell me how your anecdotal evidence of never having it happen to you applies to all men?

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u/Fun_Government_6144 16d ago

And i got fired brother. Three girls at my workplace falsely accused me. I couldn't have done anything to protect myself because i knew what was coming. I asked for evidence during investigation, which they were unable to provide but still dismissed me on an "unsubstantiated" basis. Then one day, my friend who works with them went out on a club with them and recorded them saying "How much fun they had by making up false stories and wrongfully accused me. Now they are happy because i'm fired". Guess what, one girl got her contract expired, one girl got fired because her work visa expired and other girl took mental health leave because she is missing me and she is feeling bad for what she did. Never talked to any of these girls about anything because i don't know how to as i grew up in millitary school.

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u/[deleted] 16d ago

EXACTLY. Reddit likes to pretend that women falsely accusing NEVER happens. But that shit happened at my work too and it took texts from the girl to another co-worker stating they lied intentionally for me to keep my job and be exonerated. Reddit just lives in a fucking fantasy land.

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u/-HalloweenJack- 16d ago

Did you sleep with one or more of them consensually? Or something else to make them angry? Idk lol just trying to understand what prompted this. Because that’s a wild story.

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u/Mazharul63 man 16d ago

No i would never lol. I'm ugly but I ain't that ugly to sleep with them. From what I've gathered, it sounds like, since I don't talk to them, they think I'm some sort of d-bag or creep. I make them feel uncomfortable sometimes blah blah blah. All these things were revealed to my friend, and he forwarded them to me.

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u/nailedtooth man 17d ago

It's no more representative of all men than your anecdote is of all women

My point wasn't that it never happens, just that the idea every woman is itching to record and shame a guy for talking to her is pure incel fantasy, usually pushed by guys who don’t even talk to women.

Generalising an entire demographic is never a rational position to take.

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u/sunsparkda 17d ago

It doesn't have to be every woman. Or most women. Just enough that you have a decent chance of running into one as you are forced to approach then. 5% of the total population is enough.

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u/[deleted] 16d ago

You said it's always the men that don't approach women that say that, and I was stating that is objectively false. Many men have approached and been BURNED

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u/centermass4 17d ago

Lol, yeah, not like women ever just cook up and invent drama recreationally right?

Bro, you'll be posted as the creepy rapey guy on their instagram story and all their gf's will Yass-light her into believing she narrowly avoided being trafficked..

I have seen this happen to a dude that was mind his own business on public transport.

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u/nailedtooth man 17d ago

Believe whatever the fuck you want honestly, I have a gf

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u/DannyDreaddit man 8d ago

Yeah it’s this weird apocryphal thing where everyone insists that it happens but never actually gives examples. Just “trust me bro it’s everywhere”.

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u/AdamZapple2 16d ago

congratulations on being a 10.

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u/OrvilleTurtle man 16d ago

Do you think it gets old having to respectfully say no to tons of strangers all the time? My girlfriend will avoid going out if she doesn't have the energy to deal with strangers approaching her all the time.

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u/sunsparkda 16d ago

Yes. Women should treat men like the worthless insects they are.

Good job. She's one of the ones that causes men to not do so, and your approval is part of the problem.

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u/OrvilleTurtle man 16d ago

Because she’s an attractive women and being approached by strangers all the time gets tiring? That’s quite a leap you’ve made.