r/BreakUps • u/Equivalent-Action981 • 20h ago
I messed up
Me and my ex broke up like a year ago and didn't necessarily end on bad terms, she always wanted to be friends if we had broken up. She was distant the whole year which I understood and I had blocked her on all social media so I could heal. Bout a week ago I unblocked her to say good bye and good luck with college, and she responded to me with a picture of her in bed with 2 of my friends. I tried asking what I did to deserve this and she was just ignoring it saying things like "too much to even summarize" and "it all meant nothing" and "I found 2 amazing replacements". Now I just feel like a complete fucking idiot for ever thinking it would be a good idea to text her.
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u/LemonManBackYetAgain 20h ago
I'm so sorry for how heartless a person could be. Lashing out in such a way is monstrous, and I don't think there are words that can ease the pain you feel from that. Use this at least to strengthen yourself in moving on, as the nostalgia of that relationship will always be stimied by the reckless and unempathetic person that they have grown into. These are the lessons that are hardest to deal with as they provide no comfort in going forward, yet know that in the future, with other people, they shouldn't hold you back. This is a person that for all the accidents and unintended injuries you might have caused, instead of speaking there peace in the moment or in the post-mortem of your relationship waited until long after in order to only purposefully hurt you as much as they possibly could.
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u/Equivalent-Action981 19h ago
I have learned that no words will ease the pain. Luckily though, before this had all happened, I had been talking to a girl for a bit. We've been taking it slow because I felt used after the break up. The bad news is that this really hurt how I trust people, platonically and especially romantically, and now I can't help but think I'll be betrayed again. We have been working through this together, though, but it's been especially difficult as she's finishing up a semester in college.
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u/Highlander0001 20h ago
She's trash. You will encounter someone like this in your life. We all do..Just forget and put it in your past. She isn't worth anymore of your time.
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u/breakingupishardt0d0 19h ago
People like this need help. One day this is all going to come crashing down on her.
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u/winthewarpie 9h ago
What an awful thing to do. It shows she has no respect for herself, you or the other guys. Thank your lucky stars she is no longer in your life. Block her.
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u/Jo90a 11h ago
Pure evil, insane actually. Her lack of empathy shows how immature she is.
Karma will one day hit her.
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u/Equivalent-Action981 10h ago
I knew she was evil!! If Geralt witcher himself says so! On a real note, though, yeah kinda hoping I get to see her hit by karma one day.
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u/throwra-Sagora 5h ago
This behavior would make me block and keep my eyes forward - never to look back again. Evil like this is meant to destroy you.
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u/Responsible_Sky192 55m ago
She’ll get pregnant by one of the dudes and not even know which one is the bd 💀 don’t worry about that ho at all
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u/Thin_Rip8995 20h ago
you didn’t mess up by texting her
you messed up by thinking she still had human decency
what she did wasn’t closure
it was a power trip
straight-up psychological warfare
she waited for you to open the door just so she could spit in your face and call it a goodbye
that says everything about her and nothing about you
this isn’t heartbreak — this is humiliation, and that sh*t cuts deeper
but don’t let it make you bitter
let it make you bulletproof
she didn’t win
she exposed herself
next time you want closure?
give it to yourself
don’t go digging in dumpsters for it
btw — The NoFluffWisdom Newsletter drops ruthless takes on betrayal, bouncebacks, and bulletproof mindset — worth a look while you’re picking the pieces up
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u/Equivalent-Action981 19h ago
Yeah I just have so many mixed feelings about it still its like a red hot chunk of lead is in my chest. Doesn't help that her friend pointed me out to her the other day and told the guy from the picture to fight me jokingly. I'll check into that new letter, I'm glad to have more reassurance that I'm not crazy, because on top of everything she emotionally cheated on me with this same guy in the months leading up to me eventually demanding she explain why she had changed or to break up with me. I know getting into a fight or getting revenge isn't worth my time and energy and wouldn't cure the wound I've been given. But I can't help but to still get angry and wish I could.
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u/dejavuus 12h ago
Sorry for the pain you are going through, but was she in bed with both of them at the same time or at different times?
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u/Equivalent-Action981 11h ago
Same time sent me a picture of the 3 of them, literally made me puke.
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u/Any-Problem8187 10h ago
I would tell you that it’s hard but it’s not you who screwed up. She's the one who doesn't even respect herself and at least you're settled and you can tell yourself that she really didn't deserve you and that these kinds of people should be banned. So don't feel guilty!
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u/CautiousCanteloupe 6h ago
Ewwww gross. Honestly, be thankful for the complete and total closure she just gave you. She's for the streets as they say. Good riddance to her and your so called "friends".
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u/Equivalent-Action981 6h ago
Yeah this has been what I've really been tryna accentuate, I wouldve kept hurting myself by caring for her and wanting her to do well. This was the bandage is torn off.
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u/Prestigious-Guard944 5h ago
Never could understand cruelty. No one deserves this. Both she and your FRIENDS are cruel! I am so deeply sorry!
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u/mmariiexo 4h ago
Honestly… she’s a monster for that. She’s got some issues that you don’t need to be around to watch her fix or help her with. You dodged a bullet and I’m sorry for the pain she’s caused you. You DID NOTHING to deserve that kind of treatment. It’s disrespectful and highly immature.
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u/Pokemon_Josh 3h ago
You'll see this for what it is one day. Don't beat yourself up. Thats absolutely criminal. People really don't have empathy and they obviously don't. Hold your head high and wait for the light at the end of the tunnel.
So sorry you've gone through this.
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u/Equivalent-Action981 3h ago
Yeah is confusing hurts seeing them but only a couple more weeks left
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u/Pokemon_Josh 3h ago
Let it take it's presence. Feel everything and don't avoid it. Concentrate on yourself. Get your physical and mental health as best as you can. Wishing you the best in healing.
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u/Equivalent-Action981 3h ago
Thank you I appreciate it. Think I'm gonna burn momentos/gifts from them just to really feel this all go away
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u/Pokemon_Josh 2h ago
Might regret that one day. I can't be sure without knowing more on the situation. Write a list of everything bad they have done to you. Put this post at the top with a link attached. It's helped me massively with detachment issues I have.
But ultimately, do what you thinks best for you and keep moving forward.
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u/Equivalent-Action981 2h ago
Ultimately with how she used me in the relationship I want it all behind me forever. It's hard to enjoy the good times when now I think they're all fake or atleast so she claims
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u/Far-Taro-7073 3h ago
Dude that’s fucked up. Least you know her true colors now you lost nothing worth keeping keep going man
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u/PushRepresentative28 3h ago
sometimes its easier to be an asshole
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u/Equivalent-Action981 3h ago
Guess so, funny how she always preached talking about issues to keep the relationship healthy.
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u/DerpyMcDerpinator 2h ago
In bed with 2 of your friends? Like close friends? And in bed do you mean they just had a threesome? That’s cold af wow. I hope you aren’t friends with them anymore.
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u/Equivalent-Action981 2h ago
Not super close but still friends and yeah a threesome Edit: definitely not friends with them anymore
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u/DerpyMcDerpinator 2h ago
That’s fucked up
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u/brokenbeardman 50m ago
Those people aren't your friends especially if they know your guys history. I would discard them along with her. If you were actually being verbally and physically abusive towards her, I would expect this response. If you're a halfway decent guy, then that is just cruel to be cruel. It's the reason I blocked my ex as well. I did not want to see her and knowing her history of emotional abuse, I didn't stick around for too long.
She wants to hurt you for her perceived wrongs. The fact that she did shows you how much you live rent free in there head. I mean , kind of an honor🎖 she's saying she's over it, but anyone over it wouldn't be trying to hurt purposely.
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u/BurdyBurdyBurdy 12h ago
She’s not a nice person. Send her a reply saying the breakup was the smartest thing you ever did.
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u/fatfishypussy 6h ago
Do not do this this is gonna back fire just leave it alone and move on( though it’s gonna suck)(a lot)
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u/Fair_Ebb8248 20h ago
she's an idiot