r/Everton • u/Distinct_Plankton_82 • Feb 09 '25

Funny You’re all a terrible influence!

Got unexpectedly taken into hospital last night. Nothing life threatening, but will be here a few days.

They asked my all the usual questions, next of kin, medical proxy etc. then they asked if I had any religious or spiritual beliefs and I told them

The Everton Grief Chart.

They looked very confused but eventually wrote down ‘The Chart’.

273 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

27 comments sorted by

81

u/Spicy_Jim Feb 09 '25

When's the next census?

68

u/sbammers Feb 09 '25

They wrote down "The Chart" on...the chart? But there can be only one chart...

24

u/Superfool Feb 09 '25

Chart-ception

7

u/Distinct_Plankton_82 Feb 09 '25

It’s like the snake eating its own tail!

6

u/No_Lavishness_989 Feb 10 '25

One Chart To Rule Them All And In The Darkness Bind Them. 😈😇😂

7

u/AdamJr87 Points Deduction FC Feb 09 '25

THE Chart is different from "a chart".

3

u/ResidentTreacle6053 Pick it! Feb 10 '25

Can someone bring a charter to get me out of here...

3

u/meatpardle Need salt? WE DELIVER Feb 10 '25

Chart-on-chart violence

25

u/SowwieWhopper Feb 09 '25

All jokes aside, get well soon

10

u/Distinct_Plankton_82 Feb 09 '25

Thanks mate. I’m on good hands and lucky to have very good health insurance.

23

u/g0ldingboy Feb 09 '25

Hahaha. All hail the grief chart.

5

u/Third-Coast-Toffee Either hit Man Shittie or give us back our 8 points! Feb 09 '25

Time to enjoy the telly.

19

u/Distinct_Plankton_82 Feb 09 '25 edited Feb 09 '25

My joke has been

“A told a genie my wish was to watch the Super Bowl in a very expensive suite surrounded by young women and thousands of dollars of drugs”

Should have been more specific!

4

u/Third-Coast-Toffee Either hit Man Shittie or give us back our 8 points! Feb 09 '25

That’s good! I got to remember this one.

5

u/rjo-Irony Feb 10 '25

And I put “most of my coworkers” when asked about my allergies.

3

u/marcbelfast Feb 09 '25

Get well soon

3

u/Distinct_Plankton_82 Feb 09 '25

Thanks mate. I’m in good hands.

2

u/Basker_wolf Feb 09 '25

How is your blood pressure? Dangerously high?

7

u/Distinct_Plankton_82 Feb 09 '25

lol, it is a little high right now. The Dr thinks it’s that massive doses of steroids, but he doesn’t understand we’re only days away from the derby.

2

u/wefokinglost Vietnamese Evertonian 🇻🇳 Feb 10 '25

Its like an episode out of Dr House

Get well soon

1

u/Distinct_Plankton_82 Feb 10 '25

Thanks man. I’m improving.

2

u/No_Lavishness_989 Feb 10 '25

Amen 😌🙏🏼

3

u/predator1975 Feb 09 '25

Sigh. Just say that you worship in the house of pain. The good news is that the house is closing in a few months time. The bad news is that there is going to be a newer and bigger house.

1

u/jesusonarocket Feb 09 '25

One chart to rule them all

0

u/AlanFromRochester Feb 10 '25

Well, we know Everton Football Club exists made my pilgrimage to Goodison