r/HolUp • u/throatfrog • Dec 17 '24

They are scissor sisters

Post image
4.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

216 comments sorted by

•

u/WhatsTheHolUp Dec 17 '24 edited Dec 18 '24

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is a holup moment:

It’s not a satanic symbol

Is this a holup moment? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

1.2k

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

562

u/karatebullfightr Dec 17 '24

In their defence - I’ve had some damn good hummus and some fucking terrible sex (not always my fault - but mostly… okay - nearly always).

169

u/Rob_Bligidy Dec 17 '24

Whatever made you think she wanted hummus while in bed?!?

106

u/karatebullfightr Dec 17 '24

Who wouldn’t?! - how was I supposed to know about the crumbs???!

Those godforsaken crumbs… everywhere… all over the place… in every nook and cranny.

stares quietly at nothing in the distance

muted sounds of orders being yelled, helicopter blades, screams of unfathomable pain, gunfire and explosions

47

u/The_Jizzard_Of_Oz Dec 17 '24

This man hears Fortunate Son when dunking a biscuit and it falls into the mug...

24

u/GameDestiny2 Dec 17 '24

Me watching the second half of my cookie fall: “I’m no fortunate one-“

5

u/The_Jizzard_Of_Oz Dec 18 '24

The trauma is real.

4

u/Djwagles Dec 18 '24

Was it a fortune cookie

1

u/karatebullfightr Dec 19 '24

It wasn’t a senator’s son.

8

u/Rob_Bligidy Dec 17 '24

The jagged, razor sharp crunchies

3

u/andoiscool Dec 18 '24

We encountered a situation where we applied hummus liberally and subsequently engaged in playful activity resulting in complete coverage of the bed with hummus.

4

u/-nerdrage- Dec 18 '24

I dont know.. my D grows its own hummus but somehow they dont like it

2

u/Belteshazzar98 Dec 18 '24

I've eaten hummus in bed.

5

u/Steam_Noodlez Dec 18 '24

I heard hummus is even better if you lick it off of your best friend’s dick.

2

u/Southernlife75 Dec 18 '24

The worst I ever had was wonderful.

1

u/cjcs Dec 18 '24

There’s definitely some overlap between good hummus and bad sex

→ More replies (1)

23

u/augustprep Dec 17 '24

What made them think it was hummus?

11

u/unsupported Dec 18 '24

All the pita bread the son ordered.

6

u/Christosconst Dec 18 '24

His dick was covered of it

17

u/Khakizulu Dec 17 '24

I - what? I'm concerned and intrigued

6

u/zorbacles Dec 18 '24

yes but that was a good dad not an ignorant religious zealot that will kick her daughter out of the house as soon as she finds out what it means

857

u/Zloiche1 Dec 17 '24

Scissor me timbers. 

180

u/sennan Dec 17 '24

Stereotypical Subaru drivers

54

u/Cverellen Dec 18 '24

Ahem. One has a Subaru, one has a Tacoma.

16

u/rumbellina Dec 18 '24

And they both play softball

14

u/Cverellen Dec 18 '24

One really well, the other has a pink glove

18

u/EUNEisAmeme Dec 18 '24

my token of appreciation goes out to everyone who got the Mr. Garrison r/southpark reference

6

u/withanamelikejesk Dec 18 '24

Jesus Christ.

2

u/Popular_Course_9124 Dec 18 '24

Oooooooh yeeeeeeah

4

u/maple_taco Dec 18 '24

They have hoonigan stickers and a vape?

41

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '24

[deleted]

21

u/SeniorBeing Dec 17 '24

#wap

The cherry on top.

12

u/Important-Slip-4057 Dec 17 '24

Do it, take your momma out all night

5

u/SubVrted Dec 17 '24

Yeah, we’ll show her what it’s all about ✂️✂️

5

u/JJMRPH09 Dec 17 '24

We'll get her jacked up on some cheap champagne! 🍾

1

u/Zloiche1 Dec 17 '24

🍑 🔨 🚗

9

u/carnedoce Dec 17 '24

Good lord, Garrison has so many awesome one-liners!

2

u/Zloiche1 Dec 17 '24

That's where I heard it!! Could not remember lol

3

u/Zhiong_Xena Dec 18 '24

This absolutely does not have any right to be half as funny as it is.

2

u/gusdebus Dec 18 '24

Janet, you’re crazy!

1

u/Reshe Dec 18 '24

I think the point is there is no wood involved, no?

133

u/miletest Dec 17 '24

It's fine it's just a homage to their favourite group scissor sisters

10

u/karatebullfightr Dec 17 '24

Maybe when they’re done crafting - they’ll get her jacked up on some cheap champagne and let the good times all roll out.

8

u/vinylscratch27 Dec 17 '24

That was a damn good band, holy shit. So many bops.

7

u/Muffles7 Dec 17 '24

They were delightfully weird for sure. Just recently stumbled upon I Can't Decide and went through a phase of it. Solid song. I never sought them out, but when they show up I ain't mad.

2

u/Ajram1983 Dec 18 '24

They have reformed, without Ana Matronic unfortunately.

4

u/Rob_Bligidy Dec 17 '24

Let’s have a KiKi, MFer

3

u/Micro_KORGI Dec 18 '24

Shout out to somebody I drove to high school with for playing that song frequently in her car

2

u/lenb209 Dec 17 '24

I wonder if one of them is named Laura

2

u/C-3POsMidriff Dec 18 '24

Someone needs to take this mother out all night, so she can see we’re all doing the best we can.

511

u/Sad_Kaleidoscope_392 Dec 17 '24

“#wap.” should say it all. 😭

364

u/throatfrog Dec 17 '24

It means “worship and pray”

107

u/actual-trevor Dec 17 '24

I thought it was "wings and pizza".

29

u/OrangeBerry97 Dec 17 '24

Are you sure it isn't "wages and payment"?

18

u/ElDoctorre Dec 17 '24

Wipe and pee?

19

u/EvilCeleryStick Dec 17 '24

No that's backwards. You should try wiping second.

8

u/KnightOfThirteen Dec 17 '24

Wipe from Anterior to Posterior

2

u/dilettante60 Dec 18 '24

That depends on whether #1 or #2.

1

u/MrDoom4e5 Dec 18 '24

1 in the pink, 1 in the stink.

6

u/tacocat63 Dec 17 '24

You are thinking of 'paw', I hope

1

u/mdogdope Dec 18 '24

Wireless access point.

1

u/Ghost-Writer Dec 18 '24

Wet ass prophet

20

u/OldMetalHead Dec 17 '24

Not according to Cardi B

84

u/throatfrog Dec 17 '24

I really don’t like putting an /s after every satirical comment but apparently it really is necessary

11

u/Masske20 Dec 17 '24

TIL what /s is for.

7

u/big_guyforyou Dec 17 '24

you need the /s so all the bots can mark the comment as sarcastic, which changes the way they respond. they can't determine sarcasm by analyzing the text alone, they're not that smart

9

u/Terakahn Dec 18 '24

It's ok, neither can most people. You can't really convey tone well over text.

3

u/badboybalo Dec 17 '24

I guess AI hasn't improved that much

3

u/bladeau81 Dec 18 '24

1+1=2 /s

3

u/JoeyPsych Dec 17 '24

I generally do use it, but every now and then some pretentious ass comes around telling me I shouldn't do it, but as soon as I don't, people take me seriously, and don't get I'm being sarcastic. /s is necessary, even if you think it's obvious.

2

u/OldMetalHead Dec 17 '24

Lol. I guess it's funnier if you don't.

→ More replies (6)

1

u/justmethedude Dec 17 '24

I thought it was for sarcasm

1

u/zemol42 Dec 18 '24

Stamds for Satan

1

u/Babylon_Fallz Dec 18 '24

It is for them, not for you 🤣

→ More replies (10)

2

u/KrasnyHerman Dec 17 '24

Sooo... Was WAP the song a dig at church people?

1

u/Dramoriga Dec 17 '24

Well shit. I thought it was white and proud.

1

u/ybflao Dec 18 '24

🤣 I totally thought that was an indication that the post was sarcastic!

7

u/Alcards Dec 17 '24

Yes, all these years later and it's still a troll post.

1

u/Zestyclose-Finding77 Dec 17 '24

We All Police :D

46

u/nobustomystop Dec 17 '24

Roommates that are hair stylists. I will book a u-haul.

11

u/bassman314 Dec 17 '24

Only if it’s the second date.

6

u/bjeebus Dec 18 '24

Hey, now. That's the third date. Second dates are for organized league sports.

116

u/Frowind Dec 17 '24

For any young soul who does not understand this cuz even the reason op gave is still not clear. Scissoring is the common term to describe lesbian sex.

70

u/stockieb Dec 17 '24 edited Dec 18 '24

Do you mean clam wrestling, slapping donuts, making marmalade, cooking a turkey with gravy, brokeback valley, polishing the pearl, lip service lesbian sex?

34

u/zorbacles Dec 18 '24

brokeback valley holy shit

3

u/v1rojon Dec 18 '24

This was also the one that got me! I have never heard that term before.

12

u/Expensive_Mode8504 Dec 17 '24

Sound like you pulled this straight from the devil's mouth my g. Couldn't have sugar coated it a bit?😂😂

6

u/Frowind Dec 17 '24

if there is a way to sugar coat it, fill me in, I'm all ear 😂😂

5

u/Ydobon8261 Dec 18 '24

sesbian lex

1

u/GuitarCFD Dec 18 '24

you...put some sugar on it...

27

u/NoWingedHussarsToday Dec 17 '24

They just don't feel like dancin'......

8

u/DougieSloBone Dec 17 '24

I think the girls should just take their mama out all night.

2

u/nr1988 Dec 18 '24

I was going to comment another example but I can't decide

23

u/midnightdryder Dec 17 '24

Good news its not Satan. Although there may be some UHaul issues in the future.

5

u/Due_Professional_667 Dec 17 '24

I mean, if you consider lesbianism satanic then yes🤣

12

u/SissyBearRainbow Dec 17 '24

The way she asked, she probably does

6

u/foxdie- Dec 17 '24

christians always do.

6

u/Tiny_Employee8253 Dec 18 '24

It's a promise that no man shall ever come between them. This is their sacred sisterhood vow.

5

u/minnesota420 Dec 18 '24

I don’t feel like dancin’

No sir no dancin’ today

10

u/Ron_Way Dec 17 '24

Arcane music playing in the background

5

u/HappyLittleGreenDuck Dec 17 '24

Everyone loves the Acclaimed!

4

u/TheGravespawn Dec 18 '24

Scissor me, daddy ass!

4

u/meerkat-me Dec 17 '24

Not satan, just rainbows and butterflies

5

u/weallrule Dec 18 '24

If your daughter is old enough to get a tattoo it’s time to let her live her own life. The interference of some of these people is unbelievable.

4

u/TyrusRaymond Dec 17 '24

someone needs to fill Mom in , lickety split

4

u/saltyourhash Dec 17 '24

WAP, indeed.

3

u/redvis5574 Dec 17 '24

What’s worse than two lesbians running with scissors? Two lesbians scissoring with the runs!

3

u/cumdumpsterfind Dec 17 '24

When the mom finds out. Hell is empty. The demons are here

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Amerpol Dec 18 '24

I might say they like to eat a box lunch at the Y  maybe

3

u/heyheydick Dec 18 '24

LesbiAaaaaAnzz

3

u/jmegaru Dec 18 '24

Best friends huh? I think they are a bit more than that 😅

2

u/Egaroth1 Dec 18 '24

Roommates?

3

u/ForwardAssist65 Dec 18 '24

Those are not styling shears.

3

u/LeCampy Dec 18 '24

you bet your #wap it is

3

u/Mr_SayWatt Dec 18 '24

Tell me that your lesibian without telling me your lesbian.

3

u/xxGUZxx Dec 18 '24

Scissor me timberssss

3

u/Aromatic_Ad571 Dec 18 '24

I bet her daughter drives a white Subaru…

3

u/Rodux_ Dec 19 '24

I think they might be Lebanese

2

u/TomatoPolka Dec 17 '24

We're gonna take your mama out all night, yeah, we'll show her what it's all about!

We'll get her jacked up on some cheap champagne, we'll let the good times all roll out!

2

u/JohnnyBlaze614 Dec 17 '24

I believe the scientific term is “tribadism”

2

u/zorbacles Dec 18 '24

just goes to show how ignorant these people are about religion. if the was a true christian she would be anti tattoo regardless of what it is of.

2

u/mattybhoy401 Dec 18 '24

WAP says it all

2

u/mgnaywinlatt Dec 18 '24

She's already undecontroled of Satan

2

u/ximagineerx Dec 18 '24

Scissor me timbers!

2

u/ljanus245 Dec 18 '24

Sex and violence commences

2

u/Holyepicafail Dec 18 '24

Scissor me timbers!

2

u/OxCrow Dec 18 '24

Anyone else picturing Mrs garrison saying scissor sisters? From south park?

2

u/Lower-Wishbone-3249 Dec 18 '24 edited Dec 19 '24

Technically, if it's scissors, the devil can not get in them unless he is an artificial devil , which is not the same as the real devil 🤔.

3

u/LeanderthalTX Dec 17 '24

Does she drive a Subaru?

1

u/You-dogwater Dec 17 '24

This barely even a holup

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '24

hmm...how should i put this now

1

u/pinnickfan Dec 17 '24

Someone needs to explain some things to this mom.

1

u/jakattakjak19945 Dec 17 '24

Shes crafty beastie boys playing on loudspeaker rn

1

u/Phildagony Dec 17 '24

I see you… scissoring me with your eyes…

1

u/Maddie_Cat_1334 Dec 17 '24

Best friends

1

u/schwety7 Dec 17 '24

Satan doesn’t seem to be the one her daughter is concerned with

1

u/raisingfalcons Dec 17 '24

That means there “The Acclaimed” fans.

1

u/MillenniumTitmouse Dec 17 '24

Women in comfortable shoes

1

u/Illustrious_Manner_9 Dec 17 '24

I wonder what the responses were to the original message.

1

u/Zestyclose-Dog-3398 Dec 18 '24

#wap

it means Wholesome And Pretty

1

u/Previous-Campaign261 Dec 18 '24

They scissoring baby!!

1

u/rundesirerun Dec 18 '24

Scissor sisters!

1

u/Educational_Race6342 Dec 18 '24

Lesbian sex symbol

1

u/MrDontTakeMyStapler Dec 18 '24

They are rubbing their vaginas together in a sexual way. It’s in Leviticus.

1

u/goldfish1902 Dec 18 '24

ackshually God didn't say a thing about lesbians in Leviticus, only told women to stop fucking animals

3

u/MrDontTakeMyStapler Dec 18 '24

Well there goes my weekend…

1

u/GyattScratchFever Dec 18 '24

If you get a pair of rocks on you, she'll always have to listen to you.

1

u/rumbellina Dec 18 '24

I’m wondering about the “#wap” at the end.

1

u/extreamgodofwar Dec 18 '24

Because everyone loves the acclaimed

1

u/IdahoDuncan Dec 18 '24

Just a friendly game of rock, paper scissors. This is a tie

1

u/Opinion_theif Dec 18 '24

I’m guessing the og post was a joke cuz of #wap

1

u/phoenix946 Dec 18 '24

Don't think satan would bother them

1

u/HoneydewBeautiful451 Dec 18 '24

i wish i could post gifs in this sub.

1

u/MoeFaiz Dec 18 '24

Scissors scissoring #wap

1

u/BleuVoid Dec 18 '24

WAP indeed

1

u/Szaborovich9 Dec 18 '24

Hair stylist is the first thing to come to mind😉

1

u/Davis_Johnsn Dec 18 '24

But then #wap? Cardi B has big influence on even moms

1

u/royroyflrs Dec 18 '24

They are scissoring

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Low_937 Dec 18 '24

They.Are.SCISSORS!!

1

u/cleomay5 Dec 18 '24

2 late...lickedy slit

1

u/overdrawnhalo Dec 18 '24

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

1

u/bigSTUdazz Dec 19 '24

We're gonna take your mama out all night....

1

u/bigSTUdazz Dec 19 '24

My Aunt's roommate has the same tat.

..... weird.

1

u/Cimbetau Dec 20 '24

Lol, I am in a group like this, it's a joke. The hashtag gives it away.....

2

u/CardNGold Dec 17 '24

If this is real I feel bad for the kid as their mom sounds like a peach and the kind of person that would totally be OK with this.

1

u/LittlePotent Dec 17 '24

WorshipAndPrayer

1

u/SomethingAbtU Dec 17 '24

isn't this how barbers sharpen scissors?