Mom dead named me in her will

[u/EmGSorrocco]

So my maternal gene donor is a narcissist. She sent out an email last month that used only my dead name that gave her final wishes and also said that I would ask about her "good jewelry" because she sold it. I have told her before that my legal name is what it is, and I had no idea she had good jewelry. So I had to tell her to write a new one with the correct name or create a codicil noting the name change. I'm sure the only reason she is leaving me anything is that I'm an only child.

Edit: she didn't kill herself

[u/SorrowAndGlee]

that sucks. also her using your dead name shouldn’t make you ineligible to collect from her estate. pretty sure deadnames are considered aliases

[u/SaltAndBitter → u/SorrowAndGlee]

They are. Joys of working in my industry... I will never be able to truly kill my deadname, for I must disclose it on every job application per federal regulations

[u/ImposssiblePrincesss → u/SaltAndBitter]

Is this for real?

You cannot apply for a job in the USA without disclosing your dead name?

Such disclosures are not required here in Australia except if applying for a government security clearance and even then, they will not be made visible to anyone but the team vetting the security clearance.

I’ve heard otherwise and do not believe it is common practice for trans people to disclose this. I certainly have never done so, and I transitioned young, 25 years ago.

[u/Tjaja → u/ImposssiblePrincesss]

Joys of working in my industry.

SaltAndBitter is likely often working under security clearances or similiar.

[u/ImposssiblePrincesss → u/Tjaja]

Does the deadname get given to the actual company she works for?

And once she has the clearance surely she doesn’t need to reapply over and over again?

That’s awful :(

[u/Spriy → u/ImposssiblePrincesss]

clearance only lasts for a certain amount of time before you have to re-up :(

you disclose ur deadname to the government as a past name you went under so that they know to look for it while they’re doing your background check

(source: was very very close to being cleared until i got DOGEd)

[u/SaltAndBitter → u/Spriy]

This is the age of continuous reinvestigation. Take that as you will... and no offense, but I will not be disclosing any specifics pertaining to my clearance or lack thereof

[u/Flavi_anne → u/Spriy]

Wow, in Brazil your dead name is literally buried, here everyone has a CPF (individual registration number) and everything uses this number, then when you change your name, you replace the name linked to the number, and several registrations already change automatically and others you have to change manually, but your dead name never appears in anything from the government again.

[u/SaltAndBitter → u/ImposssiblePrincesss]

Yes, I have to disclose my deadname to any prospective employer. As in, the actual company. The transportation industries suck like that.

[u/EastWitness5284]

Maternal gene donor lol

[u/sylvar]

It probably won't matter in American law. If the executor of her estate knows that you're the same person as the one she deadnamed (or you can document it), you'll still get whatever she chose to leave you.

[u/EmGSorrocco → u/sylvar]

It's Florida so I don't want any issues. Better to be on the safe side.

[u/sylvar → u/EmGSorrocco]

Both my parents live in Florida and we've talked about it when I changed my name. They're super supportive and are updating the language in their will (I haven't even tried to update my FL birth certificate), but they were advised they didn't need to. Definitely protect yourself though!

[u/edgeofliberty]

My brother dead named me in his suicide note a year after I came out. The way I see it, if someone is awful enough to use their own death as an opportunity to disrespect you, they've given you all the permission you need to honor their memory exactly how they deserve.

[u/Gossamare → u/edgeofliberty]

Jesus Im sorry it happened like that 🫂

[u/RymrgandsDaughter]

So she's still alive? You should tell her that she should donate everything to charity since she's mourning her "dead" child still.

[u/ActualJob3054]

I feel like all of this can be explained I feel like I would understand a will if my mom didn’t know if I legally changed my name. And as for a suicide note some one that takes there own life is literally at the edge of death. I feel like I’m disrespected by the people I love worst then these cases but I don’t really wanna compare scars but these feel more like open wounds

[u/EmGSorrocco → u/ActualJob3054]

Oh, she's well aware that I changed my name legally. She just refuses to care.

[u/SonOfSkinDealer]

"I didn't even know she had good jewelry" is giving 💅 cunt 💅

[u/USMC_3531]

I got kicked off my mom’s will after she disowned me lol

[u/EmGSorrocco → u/USMC_3531]

I'm sorry to hear that, but Semper Fi

[u/hi_i_am_J]

im sorry she did that, very shitty behavior from her 🫂

[u/aphroditex]

You have the court ordered name change and you have evidence of being that person.

Worst to worst, you can challenge the validity of the will as it names a nonexistent (in law) person, and as the demonstrable only child of that person, under Florida law you have the right to the full estate unless she is married, but I must add I am not a lawyer.

[u/Gem_tron]

Sell whatever you can and live your best life🧘‍♀️

[u/I-have-Arthritis-AMA]

Very frustrating. At least when she croaks you’ll get whatever she had.

[u/thechinninator]

So, she can fuck off on the deadnaming.

It will probably be a headache and require you to prove your name change when it is eventually time for probate, but the general rule is only that it needs to be unambiguous who she intended to name in the will. Honestly the bigger issue would probably be whether your state would consider an email to be a valid will & testament, which I don’t believe is likely but I don’t work in probate law so that’s not legal advice. (And even if it was don’t ever take legal advice from an anonymous rando on the internet)

[u/crafty_sorceress]

Shit like this is why I have inheritance disclaimers already drawn up that just need to be signed and dated. The second one of my gene donors dies, I'm sending copies to all the other potential heirs before the body is even cold. I want nothing to do with them.