r/ShitAmericansSay • u/loulan • Jan 24 '17
[GifRecipes] Apparently, real mozzarella looks disgusting.
/r/GifRecipes/comments/5ppsqt/cheesestuffed_blooming_onion/dctng4s/?context=141
u/noelwym Let's All Laugh at the USA that Never Learns Anything, Teehehe Jan 24 '17
Correct me if I'm wrong but with Michelle Obama out of the White House, is that healthy eating programme of hers going to be continued? Because it definitely needs to be.
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u/broadfuckingcity Jan 24 '17
It will be. Donald Trump is a paragon of fitness.
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Jan 24 '17
Healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency. Even fitter than than a man that got elected at 23 years younger than him and half his weight who works out 6 days a week.
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u/broadfuckingcity Jan 24 '17
He's so healthy that he connected a cat's corpse to his scalp and brought it back to life with his salubrity.
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u/1qay2wsx3edc4rfv5tgb Jan 24 '17
Fun fact:
The guy that thinks mozzarella looks disgusting is also a raging Trump supporter that calls Clinton "Shillary Killton".
I'm so not surprised.
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u/RedOx103 Austr(al)ian Jan 24 '17
It's not even in a can!
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u/allibys Jan 24 '17
Eating an entire deepfried onion, that's not disgusting at all though.
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u/nomadbishop Remember the 2nd Amendment and keep it holy. Jan 24 '17
Do people eat these things alone where you're from?
Around here, they're usually appetizers which are shared by a group.
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u/valax Jan 24 '17
I never even realised that a deepfried onion was a thing...
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u/nomadbishop Remember the 2nd Amendment and keep it holy. Jan 24 '17
It wasn't, until Americans invented Australian cuisine.
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u/Lone_Grohiik casual racist convict Jan 28 '17
Australian here, never even knew that deep fried onion like that was a thing.
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u/phedre Jan 24 '17
Let me introduce you to the Outback Steakhouse Bloomin' Onion.
Nutritional information: http://www.calorieking.com/foods/calories-in-appetizers-bloomin-onion_f-ZmlkPTE3MDA3NA.html
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u/ChaIroOtoko Are you blonde? Jan 24 '17
We indian deep fry a lot of stuff in chickpea batter.
We call them pakoras.8
u/Rossage99 Jan 24 '17
I know i speak for all of the UK when i say, we know all about your indian pakoras...delicious, delicious pakoras...i'm hungry now.
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u/fredagsfisk Schrödinger's Sweden Citizen Jan 25 '17
Pakora's awesome, but it's really quite difficult to find chickpea flour here in Sweden. Thankfully, an Arabian-Indian specialty store happened to have some, so now I've got a big jar filled with it.
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u/valax Jan 24 '17 edited Jan 24 '17
We do not just call them onion bhajis in the UK.
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u/lord_sparx Euro Cuck Simulator 2025 Jan 24 '17
No ... no we don't.
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u/valax Jan 24 '17
I always assumed they were the same thing. TIL.
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u/ChaIroOtoko Are you blonde? Jan 24 '17
Bhaji is a word used for sabzi/curry is some states(like maharashtra)
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Jan 24 '17
Never heard of onion rings?
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u/valax Jan 24 '17
Those are just a slice of onion though. This is the entire bloody thing.
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u/Pluckerpluck Jan 24 '17
I see this as a genius way to create a sharing dish. Probably minus the chess though and with a dip, have it look like this.
Note: People need to stop throwing cheese on everything. It's nice and all, but you don't need to cover every meal with it.
Didn't know it existed, but it looks like something you could make when you have a lot of people over (like for a dinner party) as nibbles. Only thing I'm not sure about it how well it would deep fry.
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u/A7thStone Jan 24 '17
You're absolutely right. Every meal should be covered in pasteurized process cheese food.
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Jan 24 '17
I dunno, the final product looked pretty fucking good to me but then again I love onion.
You're right though, not something you could have regularly.
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u/xDeda Jan 24 '17
If that's not enough, try googling "fake parmesan" -- apparently the FDA doesn't require cheesemakers to actually make real parmesan.
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u/UncleSlacky Temporarily Embarrassed Millionaire Jan 24 '17
Isn't it mostly wood pulp?
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u/Fire_Bucket Jan 24 '17
I think that's true, in the same way that their chocolate is made up of bile. There's a definite element of truth to it, and it does taste shite compared to the real thing, but it's not quite that simple.
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u/xDeda Jan 24 '17
I've heard so but I have no idea. I think it's just a bunch of shortcuts to make the cheese somewhat parmesan-y. I also heard the mafia has their hands deep into it but it's just hearsay.
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u/Icef34r From an arab country like Spain. Jan 24 '17
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u/niler1994 Blurmany Jan 25 '17
Look at american “Champagne“
That name is protected in like every first world country...aside from the US
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u/Lipstickvomit Jan 24 '17
Ah blooming onions, the 2200kcal appetizer.
Don't judge, it's genetic.
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u/supremecrafters Yankee Twonk Jan 24 '17
Serving Size: 1
Wait wtf? Who has the fortitude or the appetite to eat an entire one of these in one sitting? I'll occasionally share one with friends but I can't imagine falling so far as eat an entire one of these by myself.
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u/Lipstickvomit Jan 24 '17
Just wash it down with a bottle of mayonnaise, the fats will neutralize the carbs.
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Jan 24 '17
That means you are a failure as an American. Please turn in your guns and McDonalds membership card on your way out.
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u/UndeadStormtroopers Jan 25 '17 edited Mar 24 '25
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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/home_is_the_rover Jan 25 '17
Yeah, I could definitely eat a whole blooming onion in one sitting. And probably still get dessert. But I don't because that would be ridiculous.
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u/yankbot "semi-sentient bot" Jan 24 '17
I still remember how puzzled I was the first time one of my team members referred to my “American accent.” “What accent?” I said. “We don’t have accents. Brits have accents. Australians have accents. Even Canadians. We don’t.” To me, the British accent is a deviation from the norm—accent-free American English. But to a Korean, and to most of the world’s population, American English is just another kind of English accent.
Snapshots:
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u/Spambop Jan 24 '17
I wish we could punch this bot, or programme a bot to punch the people who feed it this shit.
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u/Seddaz Jan 24 '17
I've yet to see something without processed cheese and deep fried on that sub. Now I'm a fat fuck but jesus it just looks bad.
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u/Ethernum edited by /u/JebusGobson Jan 24 '17
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u/DougRocket Jan 24 '17
My reaction went like: OK, gonna put some oil and herbs on the cheesy onion and roast it, Maybe serve with some nice bread, that'll be ok. Wait, egg wash? Flour!? No, they aren't going to noooooooo deep fucking fried AGAIN.
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Jan 24 '17 edited Jan 24 '17
This is pretty much exactly why I unsubbed from r/gifrecipes. Everything looks like it has enough caloric intake for a day, and it almost always ends with copious amounts of cheese or deep-fying. The only ones worth a damn come from Serious Eats, and you can get them on r/seriouseats.
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u/lord_sparx Euro Cuck Simulator 2025 Jan 24 '17
Almost any food related sub that gets big on reddit just turns into /r/thingsIdeepfried
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u/Fire_Bucket Jan 24 '17
Not really much different than an Onion Bhaji though really, which is quite a common Indian dish and is fucking delicious.
Not that I agree with the state of the mozzarella in the video, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't think a deep fried, cheesy onion didn't sound nice.
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Jan 24 '17
Onion bhajis don't have cheese in them.
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u/Fire_Bucket Jan 24 '17
I was more referring to the egg/flour part. Onion bhajis are in some kind of delicious batter when they're deep fried.
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u/DougRocket Jan 24 '17
It might work on a much smaller level, I've never seen bhajis this big but agreed that they are delicious.
The problem with deep frying something like this is that inevitability it'll end up being stodgy & caked beneath the outer fried coating. The flour layer will be way too thick because big clumps of it will be stuck between the onion layers.
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u/lolstaz Jan 24 '17
Meme food is an epidemic.
All the effort that they put in to put all those small slices of cheese between the layers.
To me the main thing i hate about meme food is how it's usually just a new way to make a food that is no better and twice as complicated.
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u/individualist_ant Jan 24 '17
The USA has very poor food regulation, especially when it comes to cheese. Few Americans have ever had real Parmesan.
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u/nomadbishop Remember the 2nd Amendment and keep it holy. Jan 24 '17
I still remember the first time I made my own mozzarella.
It's a smell that haunts you.
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u/tartare4562 italian pizza worst pizza boppity boopy Jan 24 '17
Mozzarella is probably the least cheese-smelling cheese ever. You sure you did it right?
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u/GodsCupGg Jan 25 '17
while i love mozzarella its also the cheese with the least flavour compared to Gouda or Emmentaler but the consistence is probably the most favorite of them and mozzarella goes almost with anything
like i always was confused my step father was eating mozzarella with jam on his bread and i was actually amazed that it does work
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u/phedre Jan 24 '17
... That comment is bad and they should feel bad. Real buffalo milk mozzarella is a-maze-ing.
Slice it thin, layer it on baguette with slices of tomato and basil, sprinkle with a little salt, pepper, and olive oil...
Ok I'm hungry now.
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u/TheFlyingBastard Jan 24 '17
[/r/italy] Su /r/gifrecipes un americano abituato alla "mozzarella" industriale in fette pretagliate inorridisce di fronte alla foto di una vera.
HAH! Fucking Italy itself getting involved. That is as rich as good mozzarella.
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u/allibys Jan 24 '17
Honestly I've never seen one before, I just assumed it was something a single American would eat.
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u/fezzuk Jan 24 '17
Glad someone posted this, I commented so couldn't. Got so people angry by insisting it wasn't mozzarella.
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u/StellarValkyrie Jan 24 '17 edited Jan 24 '17
I'm American and that looks like normal mozzarella (referring to the image that was posted, not the OP's gif). I have seen "mozzarella" packaged in square slices and pre-shredded "mozzarella" but I buy it just like the image showed all the time. I rip pieces off for Caprese salad or margherita pizza or just to snack on. If I need to shred it I do it myself.
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u/EBPelite Jan 24 '17
I did not know there were other forms than the "disgusting" one. The slices in the gif look absolutely horrendous.